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Is there any chance of me getting her back ?

Hey guys, I just wanted some advice on what to do and if there is a chance for me to get back with her and I apologize if this going to be a long post. I'll try to keep this as easy to read as possible. ( sorry for bad English too ).

I recently just broke up with my Girlfriend and it's been 2 months since she broke up with me. We go to different universities but it's only an hour away from each other. We've been best friends for 3 years and been going out for a year and a half but she decided to break it off with me because I was lacking effort and attention. I asked her how I was lacking but she said she was just unhappy with me , I wasn't the same person she loved and there was nothing left to fix it. I accepted as it is but I told her I still love her and I still care but she still dumped me.

The next few days , I found out she cheated during our relationship through a letter I found on her email that was still logged into my phone coincidentally. The letter suggested that she was praising the guys efforts and the things they've done together ( such as going out on dates and kissing ) etc. I decided to tell some friends about what happened and I didn't confront her about it. She had a past that involved her cheating with her ex boyfriend.

After a month, she messaged me asking for another talk and that she wasnt expecting me to do certain thing I was doing. The day we talked , she was mad at me for ruining her reputation but I said it wasn't my intention to and I was sorry. I asked her why she cheated on me but she told me she didn't. I told her about the letter I found but she implied it was a goodbye letter to me. I called her out on it saying none of the letter contents suggest it's for me. She then starts to break down crying and she kept saying sorry and saying how she messed up again. She said sorry but she said that I changed as a person. I told her i was hurt from what she's done. I told her I forgive her for what's she's done but she then to me that there are other better girls out there besides her and that she was not the only girl out there. We "decided" to end it as "friends" because we were in a party with a number of our friends included so we didn't want to make things awkward.

The next few days , she messaged at me saying how mad she was at me of how her mother found out about the cheating and that there's no way of me and her getting back together and how she keeps hearing rumours about her. We had another talk again settling the rumours involved her even though I didn't intend to make her look bad .

Two days ago, we decided to talk again but this time I asked to talk to express about my feelings and what could have been done to prevent our break up. I've told her things such as what could have saved our relationship by talking what she felt and should have told me properly that she was unhappy. She said that I drove her to the point that she had to cheat to get what she wanted and that I wasn't giving her want she wants. Even though I believe I still did nothing wrong, I never physically abused her, never cursed at her If she did something wrong and I never treated her badly. She believes I took her for granted and that it's not her fault alone. She did end up saying sorry for hurting me but she then she ended up saying things such as regretting have sex with me, and that she told me that she doesn't believe in fairy tales but she believes that I should change to be a more "boyfriend type" of guy, even though she said there wasn't problems with me as a person.

I personally want her back but I don't know if there's a chance of me and her getting back together.

( Thanks again for hearing me out if you manage to read all of this. )
(edited 6 years ago)

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You sound like you're way too good for her. I would never go back to someone who's cheated, there's no guarantee they won't do it again and nobody deserves that. I hope you find a bit of peace with the situation and move on. :h:
Yeah I hope so. It's been going for a while I guess. I do admit I wasn't being as active in terms of effort as I used to be during the start of my relationship with her but I cant see anything else that I did to make her unhappy.
She cheated on you and you apologised to her after? I think it is time to move on man. There could still be a chance that you do get back together but that doesn't mean it will work well.

But anyways good luck

i see you posted this before so i copied my response
Original post by Kurt Cobain
She cheated on you and you apologised to her after? I think it is time to move on man. There could still be a chance that you do get back together but that doesn't mean it will work well.

But anyways good luck

i see you posted this before so i copied my response


Was it a bad move in my part? But yeah I understand where you are getting at man. Thanks again though.
Original post by HideoKojimaFan
Was it a bad move in my part? But yeah I understand where you are getting at man. Thanks again though.


You didn't do anything wrong, if she does not want that reputation then she would not of done it at all. However I'm not saying tell everyone what she did but you said you only told your friends which I think everyone would do in your situation.

If I was in your situation, I would only see her again if she was down to f*** :wink:
Original post by Kurt Cobain
You didn't do anything wrong, if she does not want that reputation then she would not of done it at all. However I'm not saying tell everyone what she did but you said you only told your friends which I think everyone would do in your situation.

If I was in your situation, I would only see her again if she was down to f*** :wink:


Yeah I did only tell my friends , but most of my friends were her friends too. But yeah I haven't told anyone I didn't treat as a friend.

She ain't really begging to go back with me really.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by HideoKojimaFan
Yeah I did only tell my friends , but most of my friends were her friends too. But yeah I haven't told anyone I didn't treat as a friend.

She ain't really begging to go back with me really.


Forget her man, you can do better ! :smile:
I'm sorry to tell you this but you need to stop going back to her like ASAP mate. This girl is clearly a mug for letting you go but you need to step up your game and just leave her already. She cheated on you and she still blames you everything- she knows she has done a mistake and she just wants someone to blame it on. If I was you I would move on with my studies or whatever and find someone else to be with because she clearly doesn't deserve your time or effort. If she keeps texting you or whatever just ignore it- I know it's easier said then done but this happened to me 6 months ago so I know how to deal with it.
BTW you have done nothing wrong- so don't blame yourself for any accusations that she makes against you
Original post by HideoKojimaFan
Hey guys, I just wanted some advice on what to do and if there is a chance for me to get back with her and I apologize if this going to be a long post. I'll try to keep this as easy to read as possible. ( sorry for bad English too ).

I recently just broke up with my Girlfriend and it's been 2 months since she broke up with me. We go to different universities but it's only an hour away from each other. We've been best friends for 3 years and been going out for a year and a half but she decided to break it off with me because I was lacking effort and attention. I asked her how I was lacking but she said she was just unhappy with me , I wasn't the same person she loved and there was nothing left to fix it. I accepted as it is but I told her I still love her and I still care but she still dumped me.

The next few days , I found out she cheated during our relationship through a letter I found on her email that was still logged into my phone coincidentally. The letter suggested that she was praising the guys efforts and the things they've done together ( such as going out on dates and kissing ) etc. I decided to tell some friends about what happened and I didn't confront her about it. She had a past that involved her cheating with her ex boyfriend.

After a month, she messaged me asking for another talk and that she wasnt expecting me to do certain thing I was doing. The day we talked , she was mad at me for ruining her reputation but I said it wasn't my intention to and I was sorry. I asked her why she cheated on me but she told me she didn't. I told her about the letter I found but she implied it was a goodbye letter to me. I called her out on it saying none of the letter contents suggest it's for me. She then starts to break down crying and she kept saying sorry and saying how she messed up again. She said sorry but she said that I changed as a person. I told her i was hurt from what she's done. I told her I forgive her for what's she's done but she then to me that there are other better girls out there besides her and that she was not the only girl out there. We "decided" to end it as "friends" because we were in a party with a number of our friends included so we didn't want to make things awkward.

The next few days , she messaged at me saying how mad she was at me of how her mother found out about the cheating and that there's no way of me and her getting back together and how she keeps hearing rumours about her. We had another talk again settling the rumours involved her even though I didn't intend to make her look bad .

Two days ago, we decided to talk again but this time I asked to talk to express about my feelings and what could have been done to prevent our break up. I've told her things such as what could have saved our relationship by talking what she felt and should have told me properly that she was unhappy. She said that I drove her to the point that she had to cheat to get what she wanted and that I wasn't giving her want she wants. Even though I believe I still did nothing wrong, I never physically abused her, never cursed at her If she did something wrong and I never treated her badly. She believes I took her for granted and that it's not her fault alone. She did end up saying sorry for hurting me but she then she ended up saying things such as regretting have sex with me, and that she told me that she doesn't believe in fairy tales but she believes that I should change to be a more "boyfriend type" of guy, even though she said there wasn't problems with me as a person.

I personally want her back but I don't know if there's a chance of me and her getting back together.

( Thanks again for hearing me out if you manage to read all of this. )


First of all patch the bit*ch, when you treat people too kind and give them the love that you did, it goes to their heads and they begin changing by saying and doing things you never expected them to. It's time you stood up for yourself and got rid of unnecessary baggage (her) in your life. Focus on yourself, university, health, work, anything just to remove deadweight like her. In my opinion you were too good to her, and it's hard not to be if you love someone, but sometimes people need to know what they've lost when you leave.


Posted from TSR Mobile
I just read this and I don't know whether to feel sorry for the girl or not. Well frankly speaking I don't because she cheated on you. I think from this whole experience you should have realised by now that she is not the kind of girl that you want to be with. It's not just because of the fact that she cheated on you, it's also because of the fact that she's clearly expecting more from you than what you can actually offer. What I mean by that is that she thinks that the world practically revolves around her and that she deserves all the attention but that obviously is not the case. If she was a good girlfriend than she would have realised that your education is also a priority and something which you should focus on and she would have been understanding about it and just dropped down her so called expectations and made some compromises because believe it or not in relationships compromises are always made whether big or small. I'm not trying to say that she is a bad person or anything, I'm just saying that she's the kind of person who wants someone to give her all their attention in the relationship. You deserve someone who would actually understand the fact that other things in your life also come as a priority to you. Yes she might have been your best friend for 3 years but she's not exactly the same person when you decided to make her your girlfriend. Because she was your best friend she looked at the relationship she had with you from a different angle because at that time she was your best friend however, as soon as she became girlfriend the whole view and perception of your relationship with her changed from her side. She started seeing it from a girlfriends perspective rather than a best friends perspective. Overall, all I'm saying is that you shouldn't even try to get back with her. The least you could do is speak to her and settle things down and get some kind of closure and if she's unwilling to cooperate then just leave it at that. Believe me, you deserve better than someone like her. Don't try and get her back..


Posted from TSR Mobile
Yeah dude, do what everyone else is saying; you need to forget about her, she sounds like bad news. Start something with someone at your own uni, it's so much better than long distance (eg when you can see each other all the time) Good luck and stay strong, the fastest way to get over someone is to find someone new to chirpse.
Original post by 420bLaZe420
Yeah dude, do what everyone else is saying; you need to forget about her, she sounds like bad news. Start something with someone at your own uni, it's so much better than long distance (eg when you can see each other all the time) Good luck and stay strong, the fastest way to get over someone is to find someone new to chirpse.


Yeah I agree, once you find someone to chirpse with you'll probs forget about her and you'll start to focus on the positive.
Original post by Halzy1234
I just read this and I don't know whether to feel sorry for the girl or not. Well frankly speaking I don't because she cheated on you. I think from this whole experience you should have realised by now that she is not the kind of girl that you want to be with. It's not just because of the fact that she cheated on you, it's also because of the fact that she's clearly expecting more from you than what you can actually offer. What I mean by that is that she thinks that the world practically revolves around her and that she deserves all the attention but that obviously is not the case. If she was a good girlfriend than she would have realised that your education is also a priority and something which you should focus on and she would have been understanding about it and just dropped down her so called expectations and made some compromises because believe it or not in relationships compromises are always made whether big or small. I'm not trying to say that she is a bad person or anything, I'm just saying that she's the kind of person who wants someone to give her all their attention in the relationship. You deserve someone who would actually understand the fact that other things in your life also come as a priority to you. Yes she might have been your best friend for 3 years but she's not exactly the same person when you decided to make her your girlfriend. Because she was your best friend she looked at the relationship she had with you from a different angle because at that time she was your best friend however, as soon as she became girlfriend the whole view and perception of your relationship with her changed from her side. She started seeing it from a girlfriends perspective rather than a best friends perspective. Overall, all I'm saying is that you shouldn't even try to get back with her. The least you could do is speak to her and settle things down and get some kind of closure and if she's unwilling to cooperate then just leave it at that. Believe me, you deserve better than someone like her. Don't try and get her back..


Posted from TSR Mobile


Yeah that's what I'm trying to get from her really, a closure and for her to answer some questions that I have so I can move on or compromise. I heard from a mutual friend of ours that she was contemplating on getting back with me but she changed her mind when she found out I was out telling a number of my friends and mad at me. Right now she hasn't really replied to my message for another talk but she did say she will tell me when she's available to talk.
Reply 15
None at all.
Original post by gjd800
None at all.

That's quite blunt but I like it. Thanks man.
Original post by DemBoiPaigon
First of all patch the bit*ch, when you treat people too kind and give them the love that you did, it goes to their heads and they begin changing by saying and doing things you never expected them to. It's time you stood up for yourself and got rid of unnecessary baggage (her) in your life. Focus on yourself, university, health, work, anything just to remove deadweight like her. In my opinion you were too good to her, and it's hard not to be if you love someone, but sometimes people need to know what they've lost when you leave.


Posted from TSR Mobile


I see. So I should just avoid any contact with her ? Currently , I messaged her asking when she's available to talk to for some closure and for her to listen out to my feelings.
Original post by HideoKojimaFan
I see. So I should just avoid any contact with her ? Currently , I messaged her asking when she's available to talk to for some closure and for her to listen out to my feelings.


Don't give her that importance, you don't need to take you're valuable time out to speak to her because she just does not care from what I've read. Ignore her, next time she messages you let her know that she isn't shi*t and there's more to life than chasing after someone, especially if it's the likes of her.


Posted from TSR Mobile
But if it's necessary to get closure then do it so in the future it doesn't come back round again and bite you in the a** and you'll be able to move on without having to think about her again.


Posted from TSR Mobile

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