Found out a girl hooked up with their crush from when they were 15.I feel upset. :(

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tapir
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I met her in my foreign language class. I could tell that they were in probably in love by the way they were smiling and sending texts and chatting on the phone. I asked them if they had an Instagram, they said yeah and found out it's true.



I feel upset because they're taken but they were so perfect and seemed like they'd be really fun to be around. But it's also upsetting because I'm really jealous of the girl, because they found someone already and they're younger than me (They're 18, I'm 21) and I feel so behind with relationships.

There's also the bigger issue of me being too preoccupied and not having any real friends since I was 14. I feel like I have to try so hard and bend over backwards just to become like other people after I've been isolated for so long. (I was addicted to the Internet, so I had all the dopamine I needed- so I felt as though making friends was pointless- and unlike most people I never felt lonely tbh)

It takes so much effort but the payoff won't come until much later down the line. Other people just seem so- ahead. To finally find someone that I really love and trust and then they're taken, just- ugh. One side of me wants to keep on going ahead and keep opening up to people and the other side just wants to give up and not talk to ANYONE, just like before.

So my question: How do I move on and find someone else? (I'm not sure they could ever be as good as them, because like I said, they were pretty much perfect) How do become as good as other people and get some people skills? I don't most people realize just how hard is to after not talking to people since forever.

I have some free time over the summer, so it gives me some time to work on things? What would you suggest I do?

Also, do you think I should ask the girl about this? Not really about the boyfriend thing but about how to find friends/girlfriends. I know it's a kind of a weird question to ask and they might not even know the answer since it comes so naturally to them.
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tapir
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Tootles
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(Original post by tapir)
I met her in my foreign language class. I could tell that they were in probably in love by the way they were smiling and sending texts and chatting on the phone. I asked them if they had an Instagram, they said yeah and found out it's true.

http://oi63.tinypic.com/ea41oi.jpg


I feel upset because they're taken but they were so perfect and seemed like they'd be really fun to be around. But it's also upsetting because I'm really jealous of the girl, because they found someone already and they're younger than me (They're 18, I'm 21) and I feel so behind with relationships.

There's also the bigger issue of me being too preoccupied and not having any real friends since I was 14. I feel like I have to try so hard and bend over backwards just to become like other people after I've been isolated for so long. (I was addicted to the Internet, so I had all the dopamine I needed- so I felt as though making friends was pointless- and unlike most people I never felt lonely tbh)

It takes so much effort but the payoff won't come until much later down the line. Other people just seem so- ahead. To finally find someone that I really love and trust and then they're taken, just- ugh. One side of me wants to keep on going ahead and keep opening up to people and the other side just wants to give up and not talk to ANYONE, just like before.

So my question: How do I move on and find someone else? (I'm not sure they could ever be as good as them, because like I said, they were pretty much perfect) How do become as good as other people and get some people skills? I don't most people realize just how hard is to after not talking to people since forever.

I have some free time over the summer, so it gives me some time to work on things? What would you suggest I do?

Also, do you think I should ask the girl about this? Not really about the boyfriend thing but about how to find friends/girlfriends. I know it's a kind of a weird question to ask and they might not even know the answer since it comes so naturally to them.
  1. What other people do is none of your business. Get over yourself and get on with your life.
  2. If that picture you posted is of the girl in question, take it down; publishing pictures of other people without their consent is illegal.
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tapir
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(Original post by Tootles)
  1. What other people do is none of your business. Get over yourself and get on with your life.
  2. If that picture you posted is of the girl in question, take it down; publishing pictures of other people without their consent is illegal.
I'm not saying it's wrong that they have a boyfriend- they have every right to,but it is upsetting to me. And about the picture, their picture was posted on their PUBLIC Instagram which they told me about, so forgive me for not knowing it was wrong since the picture has already over 400 likes and even more views. I also didn't say their name. Yeah I know I have to
Move on, but you have to imagine this is the first time this sort of thing has happened (to me at least). Not a bad person for being upset, cause trust me, there are worse people out there. Now since you have more experience than me when it comes to relationships, why don't tell me how you got over it and did you find someone as good? And I asked questions you didn't even bother addressing. Also I removed picture in my posts. Have the mods delete attachment cause I can't myself.
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tapir
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I would really appreciate a helpful response. I'm confused as to where to go from here in life.
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username1229433
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Honestly with that jealous heart of yours, it will take you longer to find true love.

You're there watching other people's business rather than handling your own.

Mind your business.
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gjd800
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You're 21? Wow.

Look, there is no catch-all answer to getting over someone. It's some thing that just happens in time, how you fill that time is up to you. Dwelling on it is no good so try things that occupy your mind. Eventually, it'll pass.
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tapir
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(Original post by babyshawte)
Honestly with that jealous heart of yours, it will take you longer to find true love.

You're there watching other people's business rather than handling your own.

Mind your business.
A little jealousy is fine. Everyone is at some point. I don't hate them for it.
I still love them.
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