If you used Clearing in 2024, how did you find it?

1st time sex

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RosiePosiePuddingAndPie

I think you need to realise that lots of people aren't as confident as you..

My boyfriend had difficulty getting a hard on (as I mentioned already) and yes, one of the first things I thought was that it was my fault. And yes, I thought maybe he didn't find me attractive (and no, I don't have self esteem issues - I'm comfortable in my body, but that doesn't mean that everyone will find me attractive when I'm naked! :rolleyes:

).

Sorry if that makes me insecure or 'uneducated'. My boyfriend was quite happy to comfort me and explain that it wasn't my fault, and in return, I was happy to be patient and help him overcome his nervousness.

I agree 100% here - Timeslikethese needs to realise that when something "unexplained" happens everyone's minds will wander to thinking about what exactly it was that caused it. In this case, the guy couldn't get hard and to be quite frank, a very good explanation would be that he didn't find her attractive - why? Because look at it the other way around - if a guy didn't find a girl attractive, he wouldn't be able to get hard! Simple! :rolleyes:

Though of course if a guy didn't find a girl attractive, he probably wouldn't be in bed with her. But putting that aside, it's perfectly reasonable for a girl to think it's "her fault" if the guy can't get hard, even if it's clearly not their fault!

Anywho back to the OP, as others have said - nerves, alcohol, not enough foreplay, etc etc. If you find that at first the girl can't get you hard, there's nothing wrong with "giving yourself a hand" (in so many words) :wink:

- if that works it should get easier with time :smile:

Reply 21

dumbdunc

Hmm. I didn't know it was actually that difficult to have sex for the first time! Although I can guess how nerves might have an effect...

And I though rinabean was totally clear as well. lol