Friends....

OK, so I have seriously only though about this recently but it is bugging me to the point I cannot think of anything else so I have to post it.

I am a 17 year old guy and pretty successful in terms of my student career, but I am feeling as if I have no friends. And the sad truth is I don't. I have peeps I talk to "sometimes", and also sometimes hang our with kids from my school but I don't know, I don't feel i have a REAL friend. As i analyze my life even more I realize how introverted I have become, so much so that I havn't kept contact with friends within my BUILDING let alone friends from other schools. I dunno, I have just lost that ability to socialize, and I am pretty pissed at myself for becoming so introverted.

I had about 4 years back a good group of friends from school and outside school but then I really don't know what happened, but I just stopped talking to them. I just became so heavily introverted. They would call me and ask me if I wanted to go out and EVERYTIME i would make an excuse. A LAME STUPID EXCUSE. This is still continueing though my old friends have now given up basically and we rarely talk......RARELY. Friends at my current school also are starting to give up on me, and i know it is MY FAULT. I just didn't be the friends they needed. I don't know what had gotten into me, but now that i see all people hanging out and having fun , with facebook accounts filled up with random talk I just feel damn sad.

I feel broken almost, and worst of all my studies are seriously being affected. I now feel it is too late.....and it is.....to make up with those good friends i had.....and i feel incredibly lonely. I feel like crying most of the time and I think I have become really sensitive about these issues.

What I am more concerned about is whether my whole life is going to go down the same path. I just am not able to talk freely with people anymore.

I dunno what to do......at all......i feel really tired of myself....

i will totally understand tht no one will care to read this utter s*** but i dunno, i need support.....i just don't know what to do

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

I've been in a very similar boat. It depends whether you are a genuine introvert or you need people more than you could acknowledge. Thing's can completely change if you move towns, or go to uni. Fresh start can be good for you.

Reply 2

aeiou81

intellectualtourist

i will totally understand tht no one will care to read this utter s***

Hey! Don't be like that! We are here to help! :hugs:

It's a good start that you have realised that you are very introverted. That's OK, some people are more so than others. I'm pretty introverted myself and while I have friends, it takes me ages to really feel that they are a friend (basically, the 'building' stage takes a long time).

You mention that you used to make excuses to go out and became more and more introverted. Was there anything happening in your life that made you become like this, for example problems at home or with studies? It could just be that at the age of 13 you reached puberty and matured, or your outlook on life changed, or that you grew very self-conscious, or even that you were subconsciously fed up of them and felt like you wanted to ditch them. If you can find a reason for your change of personality, then we can immediately start to look at overcoming that.

If you want to make new friends, join a club of some sort. Instead of going home, go to the library to do homework; I am sure there will be some other studious regulars there who you could strike up a conversation with. As for inside school, talk to the people who you sit next to in lessons. As them what they did at the weekend. Invent something about your weekend if necessary. I don't know what you do at lunch, but if your old friends all sit in a group, sit with them. Find some funny anecdotes or jokes on the internet and at appropriate times, say them. This will not work forever, but it will get the ball rolling and help you to feel more comfortable in their company.

Don't let this problem get you down. You say you are a very successful student, so I presume you want to go to university and will be applying in the next few months or next year. I'm not at university yet, but I can guarantee that there will be plenty of people out there who have the same problems. And at freshers' week, everybody will be new anyway so it is your chance to make a fresh start.

Hope it all goes well x

Reply 3

intellectualtourist

thankssss loads
lol i am part of a few clubs at school and it isnt that I don't know people but i just don't connect with them. I talk with people but it tends to be mostly about work or school related n all.....

I don't know, i just don't like how I developed my personality in the past few years. I know people but I don't keep contact. I just can't get my feelings and thoughts sorted....I am just frustrated at myself. lol I am sorry if i sound like an idiot but I just can't get my thoughts sorted right now.

I look at other people around and I realize how much they socialize and how much of life i am missing and have missed.

thanks a lot for ur support, really appreciate it

P.S. how do i make my post anonymous now.....i just realized i din do that

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I'm almost the same. I'm in school all the time talking and hanging around with my classmates, and I'm doing well at school, but when I leave I just feel empty. I don't really do anything else. I always have coursework to do, so I use that as an excuse to do nothing (I'll say "oh I can't go out today, because I have coursework in soon" and the cycle repeats weekly). My family think I'm an utter loser, but my friends think I'm alright, I just don't see them outside of it. Really want to change the image I'm giving off to my family...

Anyway, I'd suggest you start talking to people in your class a lot. Give it a few weeks, and you might have made a group of friends. Who knows? Just try and be talkative, maybe look something up on the internet to talk about with people at school.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

yea....its the same....i come home and i realize how much of a loner i am.... I just hope it gets better at uni....

Reply 6

Anonymous #4

i feel like a loner at school and at home. i try to not care too much about it, because im well aware that the situation is not going to improve. lord knows what i will do when i get to uni.

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