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i don't know what to do

I really feel so stupid. I am 24 with autism and i have never had a girlfriend before, never even kissed a female before or hugged one. Now i am going to the gym, im getting better at the moment and im saving up a bit more money £503.

I still have not found a part time job as no places are looking.

I feel so stupid though because when i was at my lowest point i scratched all of my DVD collection and PS4 collection and i ripped up my favorite travel book and Cheryl Cole signed picture i felt so worthless and thats why i did it but now i want those things back but i don't know how

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Dude,

What are you doing to get a girlfriend? Have you tried online dating? Speed dating? Asking your friends to find someone for you? Volunteering? Through college? Approaching females?

You need to work on yourself, go to the gym and lift weights, wear good clothes, have confident body language, be confident.

I've seen your threads before, please just focus on college and make female friends for the moment: just talk to them and have s conversation, ask them how they are, what they are doing, going to get up to, how is their day, what their plans are, anything interesting they got up to, talk about if they watched the latest movie and about their life.

Good luck
Um Online dating doesn't work for me because i never get any replies and no one ever views me. And I go to the gym and do loads of volunteering.

I was saying what do i do about the things i destroyed when i was in this really low place do i replace them or not
Reply 3
Original post by footballman123
Um Online dating doesn't work for me because i never get any replies and no one ever views me. And I go to the gym and do loads of volunteering.

I was saying what do i do about the things i destroyed when i was in this really low place do i replace them or not


Profile picture is important, what do you have? Are you smiling in your pics? Also what messages are you sending for your opener?
look, i have messaged thousands of women on Plenty of fish. My opening messages are not just hi how are you.

It would be about what their favorite movie is if they say they like movies, where in the world they want to travel if they say they like travling

this is my profile

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=145568598

and this is a example of what i send-Hi, how are you, did you have a good easter?, my name is sam i am at college studying travel & tourism and it is my dream to travel the world, the place where i would love to visit is Australia-Where would you like to visit. I see that you Like Movies, What is you favorite movie, mine is Star Wars. Anyway message me back because I would love to chat more

How are those two things wrong
Original post by Anonymous
Dude,

What are you doing to get a girlfriend? Have you tried online dating? Speed dating? Asking your friends to find someone for you? Volunteering? Through college? Approaching females?

You need to work on yourself, go to the gym and lift weights, wear good clothes, have confident body language, be confident.

I've seen your threads before, please just focus on college and make female friends for the moment: just talk to them and have s conversation, ask them how they are, what they are doing, going to get up to, how is their day, what their plans are, anything interesting they got up to, talk about if they watched the latest movie and about their life.

Good luck


Moved to Relationships
You seem alright mate
then why do people not looking or view me on the site or reply. If I don't look bad
Because people suck
Original post by footballman123
I really feel so stupid. I am 24 with autism and i have never had a girlfriend before, never even kissed a female before or hugged one. Now i am going to the gym, im getting better at the moment and im saving up a bit more money £503.

I still have not found a part time job as no places are looking.

I feel so stupid though because when i was at my lowest point i scratched all of my DVD collection and PS4 collection and i ripped up my favorite travel book and Cheryl Cole signed picture i felt so worthless and thats why i did it but now i want those things back but i don't know how


The POF page you linked won't load for me, but that don't matter. Online dating only works for like the 30% of the male population i.e. the hottest guys, and is mostly used for hookups/short term stuff despite what people say.

You need to work on yourself, people say that autism cannot be cured but with that mentality nothing will happen, I believe that such conditions can be improved by interacting with as many people as you can and building your ability to socialise, don't give a damn of what people may think of you, there are way too many people on this planet to even worry about things like that. Sure it may be harder for you but if you overcome it then the satisfaction will be greater.

Keep going gym, I used to be fat and got no attention from women, now I am fit and even get older women trying to flirt as well (srs :sexface:). Work on yourself to make yourself better than most guys and put yourself in the 30%, it'll take time but it'll be worth it-trust me.

Make sure you don't procrastinate like most people, e.g. most guys go gym lift a dumbell or two have a laugh and go about their business making minimal gains, put in the effort and make gains otherwise your just wasting time (and money).

For a man life is harder, no one apart from your own mother will provide for you, so it is important that you can stand up for yourself. No pain, no gain. :dumbells:
you see I am doing better at the social aspect and going to places that I would not have been comfortable before like going to gym I just need to get confident with talking to people
Original post by footballman123
you see I am doing better at the social aspect and going to places that I would not have been comfortable before like going to gym I just need to get confident with talking to people


That's good, I don't have autism and used to be in a similar position to yourself, I still am not the most confident of people but am better than I used to be. Just remember there are plenty of guys like you out there. :smile:
Reply 12
Original post by footballman123
look, i have messaged thousands of women on Plenty of fish. My opening messages are not just hi how are you.

It would be about what their favorite movie is if they say they like movies, where in the world they want to travel if they say they like travling

this is my profile

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=145568598

and this is a example of what i send-Hi, how are you, did you have a good easter?, my name is sam i am at college studying travel & tourism and it is my dream to travel the world, the place where i would love to visit is Australia-Where would you like to visit. I see that you Like Movies, What is you favorite movie, mine is Star Wars. Anyway message me back because I would love to chat more

How are those two things wrong




Online dating is all about looks,

I'll get straight to the point and say if you're not one of the top guys online dating will be a difficult tedious road for you, much like this

http://top10marvels.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Trollstigen-most-dangerous-roads-in-the-world.jpg


in the nicest possible way mate, your road is looking something like this

https://mgtvwsav.files.wordpress.com/2016/09/tornado-5.jpg


delete that online dating profile right now and concentrate on meeting women in real life.

You will only grow depressed at being repeatedly rejected if you carry on doing plentyoffish


Spoiler

so how could I meet people my age in real life with out looking pervy or desperate
so what do i do to talk to more people my age and how do i do it. i cant just talk to one in middle of the street
Reply 15
Original post by footballman123
look, i have messaged thousands of women on Plenty of fish. My opening messages are not just hi how are you.

It would be about what their favorite movie is if they say they like movies, where in the world they want to travel if they say they like travling

this is my profile

http://www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=145568598

and this is a example of what i send-Hi, how are you, did you have a good easter?, my name is sam i am at college studying travel & tourism and it is my dream to travel the world, the place where i would love to visit is Australia-Where would you like to visit. I see that you Like Movies, What is you favorite movie, mine is Star Wars. Anyway message me back because I would love to chat more

How are those two things wrong


I have limited access to your POF account but just going by your main profile picture, you are not smiling and the lighting is poor. I think your chances could well be improved if you smile, doing something interesting like a hobby of yours.

The problem with this opener that it's very generic and boring, a bit like a copy and paste job that you mass send. Girls probably get messaged so many times and probably get this.... Look at their profile and see their interests and them ask them a question based on that, you need to make it personalised, it's fine to include a personal anecdote. Cut out the "hi" and "how are you".

Note that this isn't a free ticket to getting a reply, it helps your chances though.
Original post by UWS
I have limited access to your POF account but just going by your main profile picture, you are not smiling and the lighting is poor. I think your chances could well be improved if you smile, doing something interesting like a hobby of yours.

The problem with this opener that it's very generic and boring, a bit like a copy and paste job that you mass send. Girls probably get messaged so many times and probably get this.... Look at their profile and see their interests and them ask them a question based on that, you need to make it personalised, it's fine to include a personal anecdote. Cut out the "hi" and "how are you".

Note that this isn't a free ticket to getting a reply, it helps your chances though.


:smile:
Reply 17
Original post by emerald7770
:smile:


Smiley face :smile:

OP should smile more, don't you agree?
Original post by UWS
Smiley face :smile:

OP should smile more, don't you agree?


Agreed! A smile is the best feature
Original post by footballman123
Um Online dating doesn't work for me because i never get any replies and no one ever views me. And I go to the gym and do loads of volunteering.

I was saying what do i do about the things i destroyed when i was in this really low place do i replace them or not


no don't replace them, no offence but they are a waste of money... well as you get older you will definitely feel this way about your possessions.

i say just learn to forget about them and move on. keep going to the gym and volunteering and work on your issues a little better. i mean you shouldn't be destroying stuff out of frustration, sorry i only know a little bit about autism. isn't there somewhere you can go to get help handling it?

as for getting a girlfriend there is nothing i can tell you because this is a problem for many, many men including the ones who don't have autism. just keep looking but don't let it work you up so much

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