The Student Room Group

Staying friends

My best friend moved to another city to start boarding school for sixth form some time back, and I've stayed on to go to another sixth form locally, nobody else from school is there.
So far we've managed to stay close , but is it unlikely to last for too long?
I mean, do people stop putting in effort after a while? Or like if you meet up during hols it will be fine?
And yes, I know I'll make new friends, but still, I want to remain friends with my old friends.

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Reply 1
bless ya,

my best mate moved to another town a few years ago and i went to see her all the time, then i started to get busy with work so i used to ring her, then i noticed she never came to see me or ring me, i was doing all the effort, then i didn't see her for nearly 2 years coz i had loads of stuff on so did she, I saw her a few weeks ago and it was the most akward moment of my life, we had nothing to talk about, and i feel i don;t know her now,

it made me see never take a friendship for granted and throw it away due to distance, if it will work you will both have to put in the effort!! obviously she will make new mates and so will you. that doesn't mean either one has been replaced,

hope that makes sense!!
xx
Reply 2
Usually doesn't, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't for you if you try.
Reply 3
My best friend lives in Switzerland, and altho neither of us has been very good at keeping in touch, we still have a special bond.... That reminds me - I have to email her today...

Also, I have a bunch of friends in England, and altho I don't see them often, I still love them, and we'll stay in touch as much as much as possible :smile:
Reply 4
EvilSheep
My best friend lives in Switzerland, and altho neither of us has been very good at keeping in touch, we still have a special bond.... That reminds me - I have to email her today...

Also, I have a bunch of friends in England, and altho I don't see them often, I still love them, and we'll stay in touch as much as much as possible :smile:

how do you still have a bond with little communication?
Reply 5
If you know them really well you will probably find over time they will change a lot in some ways but there will always be something of the old person you knew at the core, so it can be worth keeping in touch.
Reply 6
*meow*
how do you still have a bond with little communication?


Because when we do speak on the phone / talk on msn, it's as if we've never been apart....
Reply 7
I went to school from the age of 4-6 with one of my best friends, and then I moved, and then a couple of years later her family moved to the USA. When she moved back about 5 years later, I went to boarding school and she lived about an hour from my house. Having said that, we're really close because we make that effort to speak to each other regularly, and when we do get together we always have an amazing time because we just 'click' if you see what I mean. I've found that that 'clicking' is something I have with all of my closest friends.
Reply 8
Even if you do grow apart, it wouldn't bother you ultimately.
But I do hope it works out for you.
Reply 9
I went to a different college to my friend, who was one of my best friends in the school, we meet up with each other every 3-4 months and we always have things to say to each other. It's great to see her, good to catch up on stuff, especially the goss on the people I used to know! In fact, saw her yesterday. :wink: Some people you make an effor with but my friend, i dont need to make an effort cos it's just so easy, like clicking I guess.
Reply 10
It also depends on how long you've known each other.
Reply 11
It depends on how close you were before.
A lot of the time, friendships are just convenience and I hate to say this, but they can easily be replaced. If you feel that they have something that you couldn't find in someone else, then you're more likely to stay in contact.
It does, admittedly, take effort, what with you going your seperate ways, but if it's worth it and you do want to stay friends, then most likely you will.
I only stayed in touch with one friend from school while i went to college for 2years; whilst the others drifted away and didnt want to meet up, me and her made the point of meeting up even if it was just once or twice every half term, and weve made it through and stayed friends all along. Now shes at uni and im taking a gap year and i know for sure that we will continue to meet up during her hols and we will make it through the 3 years and be friends at he end of it.
It all depends on the both of you putting in the effort to meet up. It wont work if its just one of you making the effort; these things work two ways.

At the end of the day as harsh as this is; most people drift away and make new friends especially if they have moved on to another city.
This will be a judge of your friendship.
Reply 13
My best friend went to a different college to me at sixth form, we saw each other every month or so. Then we went to different Unis, hers in St Andrew's, mine in Birmingham. This was a huge distance, but we kept in contact, sometimes we wouldn't speak for months, but when we did it was like we'd never been apart! We're still friends now, and we've known each other 15 years, we also still live a distance apart!
You can make this work if you both make the effort, but there is an equal chance it will fade, as many other of my friendships have done, its all about wanting to stay in contact that will decide it to be honest. Good luck!
Reply 14
I was best friends with a girl for nine years, through all of primary and the vast majority of high school. We have since gone to different colleges yet we meet at parties of old friends, or on nights out as we dont live too far from one another and we still have loads to say and get on well. i think it depends on how close you were in the first place.
Reply 15
guys usually don't, girls more likely
Reply 16
^not necessarily.
Reply 17
Meet up during the holidays.
Reply 18
But will it be the same then?
ive known a friend of mine since approximately year 1 at school...we're still friends.
I'm at loughborough uni, she's still at home so we're about 2 hours away but we still get on like a house on fire!

admittedly i go home roughly every other weekend so i normally get to see her but it really doesnt make a difference if you are THAT good a friends