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Why does he act strange

This guy I've been dating for a while now I really like him. He's very loveable and caring. But I always notice that he's always fidgety around me. I thought it was maybe because he's nervous around me, then I noticed how his hands shake as well. Not only that he's always flustered and red. Kind of looks a bit panicky? So my question is what do you guys think is up with him? Does it sound like a mental condition or something like anxiety? I want to help him

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There's no point us guessing. Talk to him.
Reply 2
This is really something you should speak to him about… who knows, he might even find comfort in your words and overcome whatever it is (providing it isn't a pre existing condition)
Reply 3
Original post by Tiger Rag
There's no point us guessing. Talk to him.


I don't really want to ask and offend him or anything. I don't even know how to bring it up without sounding rude. 'Sorry but is there something mentally wrong with you' :erm: I like him a lot I don't want to mess anything up.
Reply 4
Original post by zayn008
This is really something you should speak to him about… who knows, he might even find comfort in your words and overcome whatever it is (providing it isn't a pre existing condition)


I don't know as I said I just don't want to offend him...
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
I don't really want to ask and offend him or anything. I don't even know how to bring it up without sounding rude. 'Sorry but is there something mentally wrong with you' :erm: I like him a lot I don't want to mess anything up.


You are dating him so you should ask.

Next time he does it around you, ask him if everything is okay. If he says why, just say that he seems nervous. That's a nicer way of saying it.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know as I said I just don't want to offend him...


Next time he's doing it just put your hand on his knee and ask him is everything okay…
Have you been dating for long and did you know each other long before dating? If you didn't know each other well before dating he could still be getting used to you so is still currently a bit nervous.
I also do this around someone I like. I can't sit still, I shake etc. I am diagnosed with anxiety, so maybe your bf is too.
Reply 9
Original post by UWS
You are dating him so you should ask.

Next time he does it around you, ask him if everything is okay. If he says why, just say that he seems nervous. That's a nicer way of saying it.

I actually said something along the lines of that and asked whether something is wrong. He started laughing nervously and said no. So he doesn't want me to know but I want to help him or at least be there for him.
Original post by zayn008
Next time he's doing it just put your hand on his knee and ask him is everything okay…
Original post by AspiringUnderdog
Have you been dating for long and did you know each other long before dating? If you didn't know each other well before dating he could still be getting used to you so is still currently a bit nervous.

No it's definitely not the normal type of nervous. I get nervous too, a bit flustered etc. But his hands tremble, that can't be right...
Original post by queenofswords
I also do this around someone I like. I can't sit still, I shake etc. I am diagnosed with anxiety, so maybe your bf is too.

Yeah I was thinking it might be anxiety. I can't describe it in any other way. How can I make him feel more comfortable? Or will he always feel anxious around me as well.
Original post by Anonymous
No it's definitely not the normal type of nervous. I get nervous too, a bit flustered etc. But his hands tremble, that can't be right...

Yeah I was thinking it might be anxiety. I can't describe it in any other way. How can I make him feel more comfortable? Or will he always feel anxious around me as well.


Maybe next time it happens ask what's wrong with them? If they try to pretend that it's nothing insist that there is because you've noticed it multiple times and it's worrying you. Say that an important part of a relationship is trust so you would appreciate if they could trust you to say what's wrong and how you can make them feel more comfortable.
Original post by Anonymous
No it's definitely not the normal type of nervous. I get nervous too, a bit flustered etc. But his hands tremble, that can't be right...

Yeah I was thinking it might be anxiety. I can't describe it in any other way. How can I make him feel more comfortable? Or will he always feel anxious around me as well.


For me it never really went away. Just be comforting and affectionate with him, ask him if he wants a hug, hold his hand.
Original post by Anonymous
No it's definitely not the normal type of nervous. I get nervous too, a bit flustered etc. But his hands tremble, that can't be right...

Yeah I was thinking it might be anxiety. I can't describe it in any other way. How can I make him feel more comfortable? Or will he always feel anxious around me as well.


Is he like this only around you? What about other people and more specifically girls in general? Either way he seems like a nervous wreck, does he get out and socialise much?
Original post by AspiringUnderdog
Maybe next time it happens ask what's wrong with them? If they try to pretend that it's nothing insist that there is because you've noticed it multiple times and it's worrying you. Say that an important part of a relationship is trust so you would appreciate if they could trust you to say what's wrong and how you can make them feel more comfortable.

I will try ask him again if the opportunity arises. I won't press on it though if he doesn't want to tell me. I'd just like to know because I'm not going to be put off by anything like that...
Original post by queenofswords
For me it never really went away. Just be comforting and affectionate with him, ask him if he wants a hug, hold his hand.

Yeah I will do that more. He goes bright red when I do anything like stare into his eyes for a long time. :biggrin: He's too cute. :love:
Original post by Newbie_noob
Is he like this only around you? What about other people and more specifically girls in general? Either way he seems like a nervous wreck, does he get out and socialise much?

Not just around me. He behaves like that in general. He's quite outgoing from what he has told me. He goes out with mates clubbing drinks smokes etc so I'd say he's social. Unless he's lying which I doubt he is. Yeah I'm worried about him that's why I made a thread. :/
Original post by Anonymous
I will try ask him again if the opportunity arises. I won't press on it though if he doesn't want to tell me. I'd just like to know because I'm not going to be put off by anything like that...

Yeah I will do that more. He goes bright red when I do anything like stare into his eyes for a long time. :biggrin: He's too cute. :love:

Not just around me. He behaves like that in general. He's quite outgoing from what he has told me. He goes out with mates clubbing drinks smokes etc so I'd say he's social. Unless he's lying which I doubt he is. Yeah I'm worried about him that's why I made a thread. :/


Sounds cute, be good to him.
Original post by Anonymous
I will try ask him again if the opportunity arises. I won't press on it though if he doesn't want to tell me. I'd just like to know because I'm not going to be put off by anything like that...

Yeah I will do that more. He goes bright red when I do anything like stare into his eyes for a long time. :biggrin: He's too cute. :love:

Not just around me. He behaves like that in general. He's quite outgoing from what he has told me. He goes out with mates clubbing drinks smokes etc so I'd say he's social. Unless he's lying which I doubt he is. Yeah I'm worried about him that's why I made a thread. :/


He just seems like he has some form of anxiety, a lot of young adults suffer from it (myself included), As you two have been dating for a while he should really be comfortable around you, maybe you should ask him whats up, he may have a personal issue and talking about it with you may loosen the tension for him. Don't accuse him of having anxiety but try and deduce it by asking indirect questions.

Also just because he goes out doesn't make him social, I know guys who go out with the gang but say no words lol (I used to be one of them). :tongue:
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by queenofswords
I also do this around someone I like. I can't sit still, I shake etc. I am diagnosed with anxiety, so maybe your bf is too.


ye I do it too sometimes. Doesn't really happen anymore but I used to get twitches when I'm nervous. Uncontrollable ones.


Original post by AspiringUnderdog
Maybe next time it happens ask what's wrong with them? If they try to pretend that it's nothing insist that there is because you've noticed it multiple times and it's worrying you. Say that an important part of a relationship is trust so you would appreciate if they could trust you to say what's wrong and how you can make them feel more comfortable.


Ye emotionally black mail him OP. That'l make him feel more comfortable and less anxious around you.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by ChickenMadness
ye I do it too sometimes. Doesn't really happen anymore but I used to get twitches when I'm nervous. Uncontrollable ones.


As restless as the sea :redface:
Original post by queenofswords
Sounds cute, be good to him.

I will haha :smile:
Original post by Newbie_noob
He just seems like he has some form of anxiety, a lot of young adults suffer from it (myself included), As you two have been dating for a while he should really be comfortable around you, maybe you should ask him whats up, he may have a personal issue and talking about it with you may loosen the tension for him. Don't accuse him of having anxiety but try and deduce it by asking indirect questions.

Also just because he goes out doesn't make him social, I know guys who go out with the gang but say no words lol (I used to be one of them). :tongue:
I'm sorry to hear that.
I've suffered from anxiety myself too know the past. It was mild though. And yeah it's just he seems overly anxious like the constant shaking and flustered has me worried. :redface: I just want to grab him sometimes and tell him it's okay, and that I know he's human too but don't want to seem odd to him. Aw I know he's good looking though I just perceived him to be social and out there I guess, when he really isn't like that.
Original post by ChickenMadness
ye I do it too sometimes. Doesn't really happen anymore but I used to get twitches when I'm nervous. Uncontrollable ones.




Ye emotionally black mail him OP. That'l make him feel more comfortable and less anxious around you.


I understand. I don't want to ask him directly if I'm honest. If he wanted to tell me he would've told me. The last thing I want is for him to feel like I'm prying or something. I made this thread to get responses on what he might have so I can just take care of him more in my own way haha. :smile: That way he won't know I'm doing it because I know there's something he's suffering from or has problems with.

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