The Student Room Group

Is my Online dating guy catfishing or frauding?

I joined an online dating app two weeks ago haha, put a few pics of myself up and filled up my bio which tbf was pretty detailed.

Anyway I got a message out of the blue from this guy, not unusual ofc, but he lived like 5 hrs away (on the other side of the UK) which I found odd. He only had one pic up, a black and white one of his abs (no face or anything). When I went to his profile it isn't filled out like he was actually looking for anything just a load of random stuff about him. Nothing about the girl he wants at all and apparently he's open to chatting to girls from everywhere. When I asked him about the difference he said we could be penpals lol..?!

We've been talkin about stuff we have in common like both being Spurs fans and we DO have great chemistry.. but he also let it slip many times that he was "a fan of BDSM." Now I'm not and nothin in my profile indicates that.. but this seems like a big redflag to me, to be messaging a girl so far away (I am also average looking), and then seems like he's targeting women for BDSM purposes. He has said some creepy things to me or at least overprotective like he "insists on physical affection" (albeit with winky emoticons). And he asked if I was on KIK which is an app for teenagers (apparently he's in his 20s like me..)

Is the fact he has no proper pics up, doesn't seem to be actually looking for anything proper even with women from his area and says creepy stuff enough of a red flag? Apart from that he seems almost TOO nice sometimes like he's gushing over me and agreeing with everythin I say, he did this almost straight away and idk about guys who move too fast! Already started saying stuff like "I wish you were here with me" lol.
He is a creep, stay away.
Reply 2
Yes, definite red flags. I'd stay away tbh.
Reply 3
Original post by Rhythmical
He is a creep, stay away.


Thanks, I'm guessing this is based on the stuff he's said? :s-smilie:
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks, I'm guessing this is based on the stuff he's said? :s-smilie:


Yes, for your own safety I suggest cutting contact.
Reply 5
Original post by UWS
Yes, definite red flags. I'd stay away tbh.


Original post by Rhythmical
Yes, for your own safety I suggest cutting contact.


Thanks guys. Luckily he doesnt have my number or anything
Reply 6
Four words: Stay away from him.
Definitely a fraud. When the person starts saying stuff like 'I wish you were here with me' or 'I love you' then they are probably trying to get some money off you. Because how realistic is it that someone can be in love with you after two weeks? Stay away. If you still plan to meet him then make sure it is in a public space like a coffee shop. Anyway this is just general advice for online dating.

This article gives you good tips on how to stay safe online.

https://www.getsafeonline.org/social-networking/online-dating/
Block and delete, immediately.
What does BDSM even stand for?
I just know it as that weird thing where people leather up and gimp around :/
Original post by constantine2016
Definitely a fraud. When the person starts saying stuff like 'I wish you were here with me' or 'I love you' then they are probably trying to get some money off you. Because how realistic is it that someone can be in love with you after two weeks? Stay away. If you still plan to meet him then make sure it is in a public space like a coffee shop. Anyway this is just general advice for online dating.

This article gives you good tips on how to stay safe online.

https://www.getsafeonline.org/social-networking/online-dating/


Thanks. Yeah I've already seen one other obvious scammer and reported him after which he got deleted. It isn't the biggest of the red flags to me as he hasn't said anything like I love you, and I do know guys who are that gushy IRL but it just seems a bit OTT you know?

thanks for the article :smile:
Original post by TimeWaster
Block and delete, immediately.



Original post by Afrina
Four words: Stay away from him.


cheers guys will do, very unanimous replies here :yep:

Original post by XOR_
What does BDSM even stand for?
I just know it as that weird thing where people leather up and gimp around :/


basically yeah 50 shades type stuff. :lolwut:
does anyone know how to delete as well as block?
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
does anyone know how to delete as well as block?


On what?
Original post by XOR_
What does BDSM even stand for?
I just know it as that weird thing where people leather up and gimp around :/


BDSM - B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism).
Reply 15
clear red flags. i reckon you should probably stop commnicating with him just in case.

Quick Reply

Latest