Online romance/problems

Basically, I have real issues meeting women in real life - I know how to go about "pulling" a girl but as far as actually meeting someone I can click with... it never happens. Everyone else manages it fine, but when I do actually talk to a girl in person I never seem to have anything in common with her beyond physical attraction.
Over the summer I started talking to someone online who actually shared my political beliefs and there was definite mutual attraction on a physical and emotional level... but, of course, online. I'm planning on going to visit her soon - we call/text each other every day, talk online every day - and yet, depsite all this, and despite the fact that I really want to stop having random sex and settle down in a relationship, I met up with someone tonight and had sex with them. Just emotionless, raw sex, with no purpose other than to fulfil our stupid carnal desires (I hadn't had sex for months).

Now, even though I've not met the online-girl in person, I almost feel like I've cheated on her... should I? I've never cheated on anyone in real life and I'd like to think I never would - and yet I still feel guilty.

There's other issues here - the online-girl lives a good few hours away by train, and I've not been in a relationship for two years. We also seem to argue quite a bit - heated debates. Any advice would be welcome.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

One other thing I forgot to mention: this online-girl is a smoker, and I have huge problems with smokers (mainly due to having asthma). I've always said in the past I wouldn't date a smoker, although I've become a little more open-minded at uni.

Reply 2

Toy Soldier

3

A SMOKER! Well, well, well. Get rid as fast as possible. You don't want to catch cancer or something.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Toy Soldier

A SMOKER! Well, well, well. Get rid as fast as possible. You don't want to catch cancer or something.

You're right, I don't.

Reply 4

blahbloo

15

I honestly can relate to you, my boyfriend and I are of online relationship, Im so glad I met him on there cos we have so many things in common, its unbelievable. :smile:

Have you two agreed that you two would date each other or its just friends thing? if you havent agree, technically, you havent cheated on her! :smile:

A man got to get relief sometime. :wink:

If you click with her offline, Im sure you can see past her smoking or try to get her to stop smoking. Don't dismiss her, she could be the woman of your dreams (lol corny)

Reply 5

envious

Well I certainly wouldn't define your actions as cheating as I don't think you and the online girl are in a relationship yet, you have simply identified that there could be potential for a relationship to ensue at some point in the future.

As you haven't met this girl in real life I would be slightly reluctant to overvalue your connection or even write her off due to her smoking. One advantage of meeting people in real life is that it can often give a better insight to a person as a whole and whether two people are actually compatible. There are no guarantees no matter how well you believe you know someone through your internet interactions. So I basically think that as you haven't decided together that you're in a relationship nor have you actually met up yet, you have little/nothing to feel guilty about.

Reply 6

Unregistered

It's not cheating if you're not together. Unless you are or have otherwise stated that you'll not see other people, I see nothing wrong with it.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks everyone, I feel a bit better today. I think I was just mainly angry at myself for having casual sex.

Reply 8

Profesh

20

Timeslikethese

It's not cheating if you're not together. Unless you are or have otherwise stated that you'll not see other people, I see nothing wrong with it.

And there's your answer.

Reply 9

Unregistered

Profesh

And there's your answer.

Spamming again?

Reply 10

Nadinus

1

No, it's not cheating.
Personally I think online relationships should only be to find out the basis of what someone's like, and it's bad to get emotionally attatched to someone you've never met.
It sounds like you two have got potential for something to happen - good luck with that!

Reply 11

Unregistered

Nadinus

No, it's not cheating.
Personally I think online relationships should only be to find out the basis of what someone's like, and it's bad to get emotionally attatched to someone you've never met.
It sounds like you two have got potential for something to happen - good luck with that!

Well, I'd say the only reason for caution is because you can't be 100% sure they're exactly who they say they are and, quite frankly, you can say that about people in real life... many people turn out to be somebody different to who you expected.

So, I dunno.. you should definitely meet them but I can understand emotional attachment.

Reply 12

setmefree

9

Since you haven't met her I wouldn't call it cheating either.. but once you do it would be. I hate smokers too and I like a guy who does I think as long as the person doesn't smoke in enclosed spaces around you and stuff then you could probably deal with it if you seem to like her that much? It is a turn off really though isn't it? I really don't get why anyone starts it! lol

Reply 13

Profesh

20

Timeslikethese

Well, I'd say the only reason for caution is because you can't be 100% sure they're exactly who they say they are and, quite frankly, you can say that about people in real life... many people turn out to be somebody different to who you expected.

Indubitably.

" :smile:

".

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