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Never been this depressed before.
Please don't de anon this, it's pathetic and embarassing and people on here know me.
Basically started uni about a month ago and i only ever enjoy it when i'm totally drunk. When i'm not drunk i'm depressed, want to go home and cry constantly as i miss my friends and family and don't get on too well with my flat mates. One girl who lives opposite me seems to hate me and she's popular and people sit in her room loads and i'm too nervous to walk in there and sit down as i feel very unwanted. I find it hard to knock on peoples doors and just say hi what you doing tonight/walk into the kitchen area where there are lots of people.
Just feel like i don't want to be here and want to drop out and go home, i've never felt so alone before. Feel like everyone in my flat hates me and i have no proper friends and no one can be bothered with me.
Also had a 'best' friend back home who ditched me since i've been here and is now at uni and doesn't care about me at all, we don't talk anymore and i miss her alot but know she's a terrible friend and it's messing me up inside.
I went home last week and haven't stopped crying since i've been back, hate it here and hate the fact people say uni is amazing because it's not, i'm not having a good time, i've missed loads of lectures as i've been very ill with a throat infection/flu, i'm not sure about the course and have no friends.
Should i drop out? so, so confused and depressed i hate everything
Basically started uni about a month ago and i only ever enjoy it when i'm totally drunk. When i'm not drunk i'm depressed, want to go home and cry constantly as i miss my friends and family and don't get on too well with my flat mates. One girl who lives opposite me seems to hate me and she's popular and people sit in her room loads and i'm too nervous to walk in there and sit down as i feel very unwanted. I find it hard to knock on peoples doors and just say hi what you doing tonight/walk into the kitchen area where there are lots of people.
Just feel like i don't want to be here and want to drop out and go home, i've never felt so alone before. Feel like everyone in my flat hates me and i have no proper friends and no one can be bothered with me.
Also had a 'best' friend back home who ditched me since i've been here and is now at uni and doesn't care about me at all, we don't talk anymore and i miss her alot but know she's a terrible friend and it's messing me up inside.
I went home last week and haven't stopped crying since i've been back, hate it here and hate the fact people say uni is amazing because it's not, i'm not having a good time, i've missed loads of lectures as i've been very ill with a throat infection/flu, i'm not sure about the course and have no friends.
Should i drop out? so, so confused and depressed i hate everything
why did you go to uni in the first place?
to have a better future, support ur family hell maybe even ur parents if u like them :P lol but seriously dont ever consider dropping out this early.
as to the flat mates things, im living at home my self so cant really express any views or opinions sorry got my own problems in that department atm!
to have a better future, support ur family hell maybe even ur parents if u like them :P lol but seriously dont ever consider dropping out this early.
as to the flat mates things, im living at home my self so cant really express any views or opinions sorry
got my own problems in that department atm!
Being ill really, really doesn't help - and of course, being depressed makes you more ill. It's a vicious circle. Try plenty of fruit juice for starters. Once your illness is gone you'll feel a lot better about things - join some clubs, remember that people rarely still hang around with the people they met in the first few weeks. Your housemates may seem all chummy with each other now but it probably won't last.
punktopia
Being ill really, really doesn't help - and of course, being depressed makes you more ill. It's a vicious circle. Try plenty of fruit juice for starters. Once your illness is gone you'll feel a lot better about things - join some clubs, remember that people rarely still hang around with the people they met in the first few weeks. Your housemates may seem all chummy with each other now but it probably won't last.
I have to disagree, people have a tendency to stay closer to the people they first meet, atleast through my own experiences anyway.
To the OP - I wouldn't worry too much, have you met anyone off your course? I would suggest trying to make friends there. Also try your best to talk to flat mates when you can, just be friendly. You've only just started, the situation can still improve
Darkened Angel
I have to disagree, people have a tendency to stay closer to the people they first meet, atleast through my own experiences anyway.
To the OP - I wouldn't worry too much, have you met anyone off your course? I would suggest trying to make friends there. Also try your best to talk to flat mates when you can, just be friendly. You've only just started, the situation can still improve
To the OP - I wouldn't worry too much, have you met anyone off your course? I would suggest trying to make friends there. Also try your best to talk to flat mates when you can, just be friendly. You've only just started, the situation can still improve
I don't think that's true with halls - you've got a load of random people from completely different backgrounds thrown together, the chances of becoming best friends are slim to zero. Pretty much everyone I know at uni doesn't hang out with anyone they met in their corridor in halls (I'm in my third year now though).
punktopia
I don't think that's true with halls - you've got a load of random people from completely different backgrounds thrown together, the chances of becoming best friends are slim to zero. Pretty much everyone I know at uni doesn't hang out with anyone they met in their corridor in halls (I'm in my third year now though).
Well its all to do with randomess. Last year when I lived in halls and 30 out of 35 of us got on like a house on fire. I dont think you could find another place like ours, we got on so well. This year there's not as many of us who get on but we're not too bad tbh and most of my floor gets on with each other. We're really good mates. Better than a lot of places. I've had really good experiences living in halls, doesn't really happen everywhere though. I haven't heard of that many places where most people dont get on tbh.
Well last year I made several close friends and we all stay in contact, this year I've made quite a few close friends too.
Moving away from home for the first time and into university is a huge transition and people adjust differently. Many universities have a personal tutor/student mentors especially for freshers, maybe you can book a time to talk through with them. There are probably a lot of other people going through the same situation, so please don't feel alone! I don't think you should be thinking of withdrawing at this stage. The most important thing at the moment is getting enough rest, so that you don't continue missing lectures, otherwise you'll start falling behind, which may be the reason you're not enjoying your course.
Hopefully, you'll be able to adjust and find a focus. If you're a little apprehensive towards making the first move/ saying "hi" in a large group, why not start off by joining a society that is relevant to your course. That way, you may be able to understand and enjoy you course a little more, as well as make some friends this way.
Hopefully, you'll be able to adjust and find a focus. If you're a little apprehensive towards making the first move/ saying "hi" in a large group, why not start off by joining a society that is relevant to your course. That way, you may be able to understand and enjoy you course a little more, as well as make some friends this way.
Hi there, glad to hear that you got a opp. to further your study in the uni. Lucky for you. well not all ppl have that chance. just like myself.
My first year at the college was so depressing just like you. I felt that my course mates didn't like me, and of course i was alienated. Later i found out that i was not to their so called standard.
I tried and really worked hard to finish my study. Had some friends outside the circle so that i wont feel so lonely. End the of the day, i graduated and still rock!
Focus on your priority ie study & graduated. These kinds of things are just to deviate your attention. It shouldn't be a reason for you to leave your study.
Btw everyday life is a challenge. And stop hurting yourself. No use.
My first year at the college was so depressing just like you. I felt that my course mates didn't like me, and of course i was alienated. Later i found out that i was not to their so called standard.
I tried and really worked hard to finish my study. Had some friends outside the circle so that i wont feel so lonely. End the of the day, i graduated and still rock!
Focus on your priority ie study & graduated. These kinds of things are just to deviate your attention. It shouldn't be a reason for you to leave your study.
Btw everyday life is a challenge. And stop hurting yourself. No use.
Don't drop out -- take care of yourself, get over your illness, and then re-evaluate the situation. The halls situation may be ghastly, but in my experience concentrating on your studies is a distraction, gets you out of halls, and takes your mind off the social side of things. If you don't like the course you're on, you could ask your tutor about how to go about transferring to a different course. You could also ask the accomodations office (if your university has one) about the possibility of moving to a different hall of residence, or at the very least a different corridor.
Your're not alone. Lots of people are going through this. Myself included. I don't have much in common with the people i live with. There's 40 of us in one floor so everything's more impersonal. Plus i'm really not good at socialising and making friends. Me and a handful of other people in our place just stay in our rooms most of the time. In my first week, i was very depressed and went back home that weekend and didn't want to come back. But now it's slowly getting better, i'm getting used to it and at the end of the day, your degree is priority. If you live near you can always move back and commute to uni. That's what i plan to do when this term finishes, though that's a lot to do with financial reasons.
Anonymous
Please don't de anon this, it's pathetic and embarassing and people on here know me.
Basically started uni about a month ago and i only ever enjoy it when i'm totally drunk. When i'm not drunk i'm depressed, want to go home and cry constantly as i miss my friends and family and don't get on too well with my flat mates. One girl who lives opposite me seems to hate me and she's popular and people sit in her room loads and i'm too nervous to walk in there and sit down as i feel very unwanted. I find it hard to knock on peoples doors and just say hi what you doing tonight/walk into the kitchen area where there are lots of people.
Just feel like i don't want to be here and want to drop out and go home, i've never felt so alone before. Feel like everyone in my flat hates me and i have no proper friends and no one can be bothered with me.
Also had a 'best' friend back home who ditched me since i've been here and is now at uni and doesn't care about me at all, we don't talk anymore and i miss her alot but know she's a terrible friend and it's messing me up inside.
I went home last week and haven't stopped crying since i've been back, hate it here and hate the fact people say uni is amazing because it's not, i'm not having a good time, i've missed loads of lectures as i've been very ill with a throat infection/flu, i'm not sure about the course and have no friends.
Should i drop out? so, so confused and depressed i hate everything
Basically started uni about a month ago and i only ever enjoy it when i'm totally drunk. When i'm not drunk i'm depressed, want to go home and cry constantly as i miss my friends and family and don't get on too well with my flat mates. One girl who lives opposite me seems to hate me and she's popular and people sit in her room loads and i'm too nervous to walk in there and sit down as i feel very unwanted. I find it hard to knock on peoples doors and just say hi what you doing tonight/walk into the kitchen area where there are lots of people.
Just feel like i don't want to be here and want to drop out and go home, i've never felt so alone before. Feel like everyone in my flat hates me and i have no proper friends and no one can be bothered with me.
Also had a 'best' friend back home who ditched me since i've been here and is now at uni and doesn't care about me at all, we don't talk anymore and i miss her alot but know she's a terrible friend and it's messing me up inside.
I went home last week and haven't stopped crying since i've been back, hate it here and hate the fact people say uni is amazing because it's not, i'm not having a good time, i've missed loads of lectures as i've been very ill with a throat infection/flu, i'm not sure about the course and have no friends.
Should i drop out? so, so confused and depressed i hate everything
It is strange but also true that as you go through life you will encounter people who hate you for no reason , I've met plenty of them and I dont let it bother me. I look at it this way , if this girl has an issue with you , she isnt brave enough to tell you what it is , so shes not worth bothering with. Dont forget the main reason you are at University is learning so its not good to let an unfavorable situation jeperdise that. There are lots of people at University who you havent yet met who you will be friends with , be patient until you meet them , be happy with yourself and try to improve your confidence. Also ,dont waste time thinking about this friend back home , she will soon pale into insignificance. As for drink , I dont see this as an answer to any of your problems , it might make you feel good at the time but the next day you will feel more depressed
Thanks for all your help.
I spoke to my mum about the situation and she said I only have to live with these people for a year but that made me feel worse as everyone says uni is amazing etc and i want to make the most of the first year and make lifelong friends, however don't see that happening as instead i'm now wishing time away
I spoke to my mum about the situation and she said I only have to live with these people for a year but that made me feel worse as everyone says uni is amazing etc and i want to make the most of the first year and make lifelong friends, however don't see that happening as instead i'm now wishing time away
Hey dont worry, I hated my flat mates... most of my group of friends was made a couple of months in, friendship groups arent set in stone within the first few weeks!
I can't stand my corridor! I'm completely in your situation, but I promise it gets better. Freshers was the worst week of my life, but once the course starts you start meeting like minded people and life becomes worth living once more. I promise. 
Don't drop out - give it a month at least.
Don't drop out - give it a month at least.Related discussions
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