This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- cardiff drop out rate
- How to stop thinking about this?
- Should I leave university?
- Being ugly
- I think I chose the wrong university
- I need advice
- ignore.
- I hate my longstanding loneliness
- I’m now going to bath and having doubts
- What are the best online A-level providers?
- Moving sixth forms but scared ab english
- Regret living alone 3rd year
- Should I transfer uni?
- How to genuinely not care what people think of you?
- To Move Back to The UK and Work or Stay in Ireland and Go to Uni?
- Am i a red flag, am i the problem?
- LSE law v UCL law
- Prioritising Prestige over Happiness
- Transferring to another Uni
- Unhappy at Sixth Form
Lack of friends making me unhappy
Please keep this post anonymous, or just delete it.
I've been looking on Bebo and Facebook and all I see are albums and albums of photos of people partying, clubbing etc with their friends. I envy this cause its something that I've always wanted. I've never been an overly confident person, so making friends has always been difficult.
I was part of a group in year 9 and we were v close, but we've all drifted apart due to our lives going their seperate ways. I'm still in contact with 2 of them, but we aren't near as close anymore due to distance and they have their own friends now.
The majority of friends I have are aquaintances as they are all in their own circle of friends. I don't have any group of friends. I have 2 close friends; one being my ex bf, and the other being a girl I met online who I haven't met face to face yet.
I've just started uni and there are a variety of people. Majority of them are about 2 years older then me. We all get on fine, but again, we aren't overly close.
I'm not looking for sympathy, I just needed to get it off my chest cause it bugs me everytime I look on Bebo/Facebook. Anyone else here in this situation?
I've been looking on Bebo and Facebook and all I see are albums and albums of photos of people partying, clubbing etc with their friends. I envy this cause its something that I've always wanted. I've never been an overly confident person, so making friends has always been difficult.
I was part of a group in year 9 and we were v close, but we've all drifted apart due to our lives going their seperate ways. I'm still in contact with 2 of them, but we aren't near as close anymore due to distance and they have their own friends now.
The majority of friends I have are aquaintances as they are all in their own circle of friends. I don't have any group of friends. I have 2 close friends; one being my ex bf, and the other being a girl I met online who I haven't met face to face yet.
I've just started uni and there are a variety of people. Majority of them are about 2 years older then me. We all get on fine, but again, we aren't overly close.
I'm not looking for sympathy, I just needed to get it off my chest cause it bugs me everytime I look on Bebo/Facebook. Anyone else here in this situation?
Scroll to see replies
I know the feeling entirely, I joined some sports societies and that and have made a few contacts through that but not many. I've always been like this though and am now quite resigned to the fact that some people just seem to stay alone.
stop going on them then. does it surprise you that they don't stick photo's of them crying themselves to sleep.
all new friendships simply start as aquaintances and over time they flourish into a proper friendships or dwindle off into obscurity.
nothing in life is certain and people come and go, they are all in all disposable.
keep your chin up and start making an effort to solidify some kind of substance between these aquaintances.
i bid you good day.
all new friendships simply start as aquaintances and over time they flourish into a proper friendships or dwindle off into obscurity.
nothing in life is certain and people come and go, they are all in all disposable.
keep your chin up and start making an effort to solidify some kind of substance between these aquaintances.
i bid you good day.
Anonymous
I know the feeling entirely, I joined some sports societies and that and have made a few contacts through that but not many. I've always been like this though and am now quite resigned to the fact that some people just seem to stay alone.
I know what you mean. I always thought getting a job, joining a club etc...would help metting people, and I have done these things but the part-time job I have - there isn't anyone there who are my age - they are all much older. I have joined a photography club, but this hasn't yet been established. Ugh, its so annoying! I would pm you, but we are both anon
Yeah, people have photos from Fresher's Week and Stuff and then don't even speak to eachother for the rest of their uni life!
What uni are you at, btw?
xxx
What uni are you at, btw?
xxx
Anonymous
I know what you mean. I always thought getting a job, joining a club etc...would help metting people, and I have done these things but the part-time job I have - there isn't anyone there who are my age - they are all much older. I have joined a photography club, but this hasn't yet been established. Ugh, its so annoying! I would pm you, but we are both anon
Instread of feeling sorry for your , why do your change it!!
Notepadmed
Instread of feeling sorry for your , why do your change it!!
Dito ^
The only way to get yourself out of that hole is to do something about it. Get out there and do stuff, meet people. If you're in education you are in the same building with 100's of people your age every day. Don't be so reclusive, son't just go home at the end of the day, find out what other people are doing whether it's the pub, park, club, gathering etc.
I was in the same situation. You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and being envious of everyone else, and make something for yourself because no one else will.
In a similar vein to what negated enigma said, people use facebook and bebo to try and give everyone the impression they're hugely popular eg. tonnes of drunken photos and ridiculous friends lists that top 300 (often largely consisting of people they said hi to once in the corridor), but it's a hugely exaggerated illusion in most cases so don't fall for it. Having a job and joining clubs is always a good idea so don't give up on that. It's all about increasing the flow of people into your life, so obviously the more you do, the more people you will meet some of whom will have the potential to become proper friends.
You say you have lots of acquaintances- you should pick some to get to know on a deeper level. You already know them a little bit already, so for example if you know them from your uni course invite them to do something outside of lessons, maybe say "I'm really finding that essay hard, do you want to meet up and have a revision session and some coffee?" Or simply ask them if they fancy having a drink with you some time after class. Most people won't say no to you, and nothing has been lost if they did. But generally the more time you spend with people the closer you'll get. And likewise arrange to meet up with the girl you know online, as an easy start. What's your part-time job? You're more likely to come across people your own age in student jobs such as tesco or barwork than working in a paper shop run by an old man and his dog, if you see what I mean. But keep it up, be open and friendly to everyone and friendships will develop over time.
You say you have lots of acquaintances- you should pick some to get to know on a deeper level. You already know them a little bit already, so for example if you know them from your uni course invite them to do something outside of lessons, maybe say "I'm really finding that essay hard, do you want to meet up and have a revision session and some coffee?" Or simply ask them if they fancy having a drink with you some time after class. Most people won't say no to you, and nothing has been lost if they did. But generally the more time you spend with people the closer you'll get. And likewise arrange to meet up with the girl you know online, as an easy start. What's your part-time job? You're more likely to come across people your own age in student jobs such as tesco or barwork than working in a paper shop run by an old man and his dog, if you see what I mean. But keep it up, be open and friendly to everyone and friendships will develop over time.
I completely get what you feel. I have lodes of mates in school and are quite popular. However im not the type of person who likes going out and have other commitments to family. I hate hearing these stories about the fun my mates got up to on the weekend. I have tried going out with them a few times but its just not me. If their having a quite lads night im fully up for it, i.e. poker... however if its some rave then im not interested, out of my comfort zone so to say.
But back to you, don't worry about them photos. If you look at mine I look like some hardcore raver when really im the opposite. Everyone likes to look 'cool' in them photos and they are intended to be placed on Facebook, myspace...
But back to you, don't worry about them photos. If you look at mine I look like some hardcore raver when really im the opposite. Everyone likes to look 'cool' in them photos and they are intended to be placed on Facebook, myspace...
I've reckon that most of the people who are overly happy and contempt with their social lives don't re live them through the internet! (eg facebook etc!)
Dunno what advice to give to the op other than try to associate yourself with your peers etc, maybe pick up a couple of hobbies that you can do in clubs and that..
Dunno what advice to give to the op other than try to associate yourself with your peers etc, maybe pick up a couple of hobbies that you can do in clubs and that..
a picture only speaks a thousand words, for one second
the rest of the time they could have frowns! lol. and smile for the picture.
no but seriously, i feel your pain. but maybe you need to look at characteristics you could improve to make you more friendly. maybe you dont smile enough when you are with people you are kinda friendly with? or maybe you dont seen inviting enough for them to ask you out sometime.
the rest of the time they could have frowns! lol. and smile for the picture.
no but seriously, i feel your pain. but maybe you need to look at characteristics you could improve to make you more friendly. maybe you dont smile enough when you are with people you are kinda friendly with? or maybe you dont seen inviting enough for them to ask you out sometime.
im in the same position, and like the guy above i loath just going out and getting wasted. but it seems thats all people are interested in doing at uni. also everybody i seem to meet (and i have very competent social skills) is always about to do something or dont have time. i guess its just bad luck really. but tbh 90% of the people ive met so far at uni i dont really like anyways. im not saying they are bad people just not my sort or mates i have back home.
Join a club or a society where you can meet new people and make new friends.
LAMP
TSR > Facebook + Bebo + MySpace.
Any day
op just try talking to some people that look friendly
i was really shy when i started college but i found someone sitting on there own that ws in one of my classes and started talking to her and now we are friends, find people that are in the same lectures becuse then at the least you would have something in common with them
hope it helps x
i was really shy when i started college but i found someone sitting on there own that ws in one of my classes and started talking to her and now we are friends, find people that are in the same lectures becuse then at the least you would have something in common with them
hope it helps
xI know about 10 good people from Facebook, but they all have their own friends whereas I have virtually no-one. This makes it hard to meet up with them, as I know they will be in a group of 5 or 6 and I'm going to be the outsider. This destroys my confidence and I will make excuses rather than going to meet them.
Related discussions
- cardiff drop out rate
- How to stop thinking about this?
- Should I leave university?
- Being ugly
- I think I chose the wrong university
- I need advice
- ignore.
- I hate my longstanding loneliness
- I’m now going to bath and having doubts
- What are the best online A-level providers?
- Moving sixth forms but scared ab english
- Regret living alone 3rd year
- Should I transfer uni?
- How to genuinely not care what people think of you?
- To Move Back to The UK and Work or Stay in Ireland and Go to Uni?
- Am i a red flag, am i the problem?
- LSE law v UCL law
- Prioritising Prestige over Happiness
- Transferring to another Uni
- Unhappy at Sixth Form
Latest
Trending
Last reply 2 weeks ago
What are the psychological aggression that you face a lot as ethnic minority?Last reply 2 weeks ago
Is it normal to have “friendship fatigue†as you age?
