The Student Room Group

Relationship treaty

I am sick of arguments so was thinking of writing down a list of things that need to be agreed upon so both of us remember what is expected and clears the air. I know it seems overkill but it sounds like a good way not to get gaslighted and for both parties to know what is expected of them.
Reply 1
Makes it seem like you've just had a war... Seems a tad strange...
Original post by UWS
Makes it seem like you've just had a war... Seems a tad strange...


That's where the word conflict comes from.
Sheldon Cooper, lol. Surely if you just get to know eachother well enough then you won't tread on eachothers toes. Remember that you have to the bad to get the good, fights are necessary and sometimes even healthy in relationships (in severe moderation ofc)

Plus, do you really want to have to say "Well according to the relationship treaty we both signed..."
Original post by Michael_Fishy
Sheldon Cooper, lol. Surely if you just get to know eachother well enough then you won't tread on eachothers toes. Remember that you have to the bad to get the good, fights are necessary and sometimes even healthy in relationships (in severe moderation ofc)

Plus, do you really want to have to say "Well according to the relationship treaty we both signed..."


I see so many threads on here about people being completely unsure of their commitments to each other, surely it is incredibly unhealthy to simply let things stir without coming to a clear consensus.
Original post by WoodesRogers
I see so many threads on here about people being completely unsure of their commitments to each other, surely it is incredibly unhealthy to simply let things stir without coming to a clear consensus.


Relationships and human beings are dynamic, are you going to ammend that treaty every time something changes? I just think it's a bit excessive to have a document that governs a relationship lol - but you do you bro, if it works for your relationship fair enough :P
Original post by Michael_Fishy
Relationships and human beings are dynamic, are you going to ammend that treaty every time something changes? I just think it's a bit excessive to have a document that governs a relationship lol - but you do you bro, if it works for your relationship fair enough :P


I don't think some things will change.

For example, I believe all disagreements should be conducted openly and not through secrecy (third parties etc)
Wow calm it Sheldon Cooper. Do you really think she'd sign it? I know that if one of my exes asked me to sign one when we were together I'd say no. Instead have a conversation about your needs and let her discuss her needs and how both can be met
Original post by kayleighisonfire
Wow calm it Sheldon Cooper. Do you really think she'd sign it? I know that if one of my exes asked me to sign one when we were together I'd say no. Instead have a conversation about your needs and let her discuss her needs and how both can be met


Maybe that's why they are exes? I am suggesting exactly the same thing, to discuss it but then to just have it written down so there is no later disagreements. Both know exactly what they said and agreed to.
In the Jewish tradition the husband is supposed to write out a special set of responsibilities to the wife. It doesn't have any legal value today, but I don't think that some form of formal agreement is all that far-fetched.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by WoodesRogers
Maybe that's why they are exes? I am suggesting exactly the same thing, to discuss it but then to just have it written down so there is no later disagreements. Both know exactly what they said and agreed to.


Or maybe it's not because of that...

There's no need to write it down!
Original post by WoodesRogers
I am sick of arguments so was thinking of writing down a list of things that need to be agreed upon so both of us remember what is expected and clears the air. I know it seems overkill but it sounds like a good way not to get gaslighted and for both parties to know what is expected of them.


I think its a good idea as long as they are capable of adhering to it. All depends how it is written.

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