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Losing perspective on ex g/f situation. What now?
I think i'm losing the plot here.
I got together with a girl a few months back after a messy breakup with my ex. We had the BEST time together. This was helped by the fact that we had been really close friends and lived together the whole of the last academic year so spent an awful lot of time around each other.
The last week of term we agreed that there was definately something there between us
At the end of the year I went back home and spent a month rebuilding my car (which is my big passion in life... more on this later) We spent that month talking for hours on the phone and texting constantly. She got free calls to landlines half way through the month so she'd call up in the evening and we'd talk untill one of us would fall asleep.
Whilst this was going on I was still having fights with my ex. My ex and I were definately over though.
At the end of the month, I drove my MGB hotrod nearly 200 miles to help her move into her new place, clean her old place, spend some time with her and the plan was that we'd take the hotrod to the drag strip and race it over the weekend.
We had the BEST time together. I was really starting to fall for her. I even let her start and rev the *******s off my hotrod at the track. That was a pretty big deal to me... I don't let ANYONE touch my car. It gives an indication as to just how much i was allowing myself to fall for this girl.
When I got back home my former fiance started calling me and emailing me and confusing me and stupidly i agreed to give it another go. I told the new person everything and she was very understanding but it upset her dreadfully.
I didnt really want to go back to my former fiance... my heart wasnt in it... but foolishly I agreed to do so.
Fast forward a month. My fiance got what she wanted - my assistance to move to michigan to be with her ill father and ditched me as soon as she was out there. The new girl, after much upset and tears got her life sorted out propperly and i guess moved on. To the point where she now no longer wishes to speak to me. She ignores any messages or texts i send her.
I'm normally a very pragmatic person about these things. Normally I could say "oh she doesnt want anything to do with me" and then move on.
Not so with this girl.
Truth be told ive NEVER felt anything like this way for anyone before and ive had my fair share of relationships.
She's lovely. We could talk about anytihng and everything and often did.
I just wish I could win her back... even as a friend. That'd be enough.
I really don't want to move on from this girl. she's just too special.
How can you win back someone that wont even acknowledge you or even talk to you? If the answer is simply "you cant" how the heck do I stop myself from thinking about her and missing her and wishing I could be with her every hour of the day now 2 months after the event.
Thankyou to those of you with the patience to read my ramblings. I think someone with a fresh pair of eyes on the situation would be useful. Being stuck in the middle of things means you stop seeing wood for the trees.
Not posting annoymous. Plenty of people on here think i'm a complete cock so I suppose a few added to the list wont make much of a difference.
I got together with a girl a few months back after a messy breakup with my ex. We had the BEST time together. This was helped by the fact that we had been really close friends and lived together the whole of the last academic year so spent an awful lot of time around each other.
The last week of term we agreed that there was definately something there between us
At the end of the year I went back home and spent a month rebuilding my car (which is my big passion in life... more on this later) We spent that month talking for hours on the phone and texting constantly. She got free calls to landlines half way through the month so she'd call up in the evening and we'd talk untill one of us would fall asleep.
Whilst this was going on I was still having fights with my ex. My ex and I were definately over though.
At the end of the month, I drove my MGB hotrod nearly 200 miles to help her move into her new place, clean her old place, spend some time with her and the plan was that we'd take the hotrod to the drag strip and race it over the weekend.
We had the BEST time together. I was really starting to fall for her. I even let her start and rev the *******s off my hotrod at the track. That was a pretty big deal to me... I don't let ANYONE touch my car. It gives an indication as to just how much i was allowing myself to fall for this girl.
When I got back home my former fiance started calling me and emailing me and confusing me and stupidly i agreed to give it another go. I told the new person everything and she was very understanding but it upset her dreadfully.
I didnt really want to go back to my former fiance... my heart wasnt in it... but foolishly I agreed to do so.
Fast forward a month. My fiance got what she wanted - my assistance to move to michigan to be with her ill father and ditched me as soon as she was out there. The new girl, after much upset and tears got her life sorted out propperly and i guess moved on. To the point where she now no longer wishes to speak to me. She ignores any messages or texts i send her.
I'm normally a very pragmatic person about these things. Normally I could say "oh she doesnt want anything to do with me" and then move on.
Not so with this girl.
Truth be told ive NEVER felt anything like this way for anyone before and ive had my fair share of relationships.
She's lovely. We could talk about anytihng and everything and often did.
I just wish I could win her back... even as a friend. That'd be enough.
I really don't want to move on from this girl. she's just too special.
How can you win back someone that wont even acknowledge you or even talk to you? If the answer is simply "you cant" how the heck do I stop myself from thinking about her and missing her and wishing I could be with her every hour of the day now 2 months after the event.
Thankyou to those of you with the patience to read my ramblings. I think someone with a fresh pair of eyes on the situation would be useful. Being stuck in the middle of things means you stop seeing wood for the trees.
Not posting annoymous. Plenty of people on here think i'm a complete cock so I suppose a few added to the list wont make much of a difference.
JC.
I think i'm losing the plot here.
I got together with a girl a few months back after a messy breakup with my ex. The last week of term we agreed that there was definitely something there between us
When I got back home my former fiance started calling me and emailing me and confusing me and stupidly i agreed to give it another go.
I got together with a girl a few months back after a messy breakup with my ex. The last week of term we agreed that there was definitely something there between us
When I got back home my former fiance started calling me and emailing me and confusing me and stupidly i agreed to give it another go.
You betrayed her and now want another chance ?
You will probably betray her again.
She would have to be as much a loser as you to give you another chance.
BTW, have you considered that all your motoring stuff might just have bored all those girls ?
To your first question, Yes.
to the seccond, Certainly not.
To the third, fair comment.
4th point... not really. My former fiance collected cars and the girl with whom im losing sleep over seemed to enjoy the racing. We didnt discuss the car at all really. Its something I play with in my free time and not something I particularly like to share.
Thinking about it, she was nice and considerate enough to ferry me around and pay for part of a new custom exhaust system when I was down there for that week. I managed to knock it off on the gate post turning into the carpark under her old house.
I have no clue what to do or what to think. I know i'm a prat. Reiterating that fact isnt helpful.
to the seccond, Certainly not.
To the third, fair comment.
4th point... not really. My former fiance collected cars and the girl with whom im losing sleep over seemed to enjoy the racing. We didnt discuss the car at all really. Its something I play with in my free time and not something I particularly like to share.
Thinking about it, she was nice and considerate enough to ferry me around and pay for part of a new custom exhaust system when I was down there for that week. I managed to knock it off on the gate post turning into the carpark under her old house.
I have no clue what to do or what to think. I know i'm a prat. Reiterating that fact isnt helpful.
Wow, it sounds like you really want her back. You just have to show her this. Make a massive gesture, or a few massive gestures. She might resist at first, as you've obviously hurt her, but at least you know this and you're sorry. It might sound a bit stalkerish but how about showing up unannounced with a thoughtful present, something that references the time you've spent together, along with a heartfelt apology and confession of your true feelings!
Give me your car, and I'll win her back for you. I'll tell what a great guy you are.
Honest guv.
Honest guv.
I tried turning up at her place and offering to give her back the £100 odd she loaned me for parts for the car, tools and my share of the petrol to get to the races (400 miles @ 12mpg is er expensive!)
She said it was a gift from her then b/f and she didnt want anything from me. Neither did she want to speak to me or for me to be a part of her life anymore.
We did mutually agree during this conversation that the week we spent together was really great and a very happy one though.
To be honest... I care about her so much i'd happilly put her name on the logbook for the car. Ive had an awful lot go on in my life and going out to the garage to chill out and work on the thing has kept me sane. Infact for 4 years it has kind of defined who I am. Its been the only stable thing in my life that hasnt let me down or hurt me.
I'd gladly sign it over to her though. Heck i'd give up racing, building V8's + hotrods and cancel my membership to the MGOC and NSRA if it would make her happy.
Honestly, right now none of it matters.
She said it was a gift from her then b/f and she didnt want anything from me. Neither did she want to speak to me or for me to be a part of her life anymore.
We did mutually agree during this conversation that the week we spent together was really great and a very happy one though.
To be honest... I care about her so much i'd happilly put her name on the logbook for the car. Ive had an awful lot go on in my life and going out to the garage to chill out and work on the thing has kept me sane. Infact for 4 years it has kind of defined who I am. Its been the only stable thing in my life that hasnt let me down or hurt me.
I'd gladly sign it over to her though. Heck i'd give up racing, building V8's + hotrods and cancel my membership to the MGOC and NSRA if it would make her happy.
Honestly, right now none of it matters.
I am being made to sound like a really bitch here so yet again I am going to have to get involved.
The guy in question here upset me more than anything and I know longer wish to have anything to do with him. He knows this
HOWEVER
Not only does he constantly text me/leave my voice message/pms
Not only does he create threads on here (this I think is the third)
But a couple of weeks ago, he waiting outside my home for me to get home and despite telling him I did not want to see him he forced his way into my flat. This was because he wanted to pay me back some money but I didn't want it I just wanted him gone. Two hours later after me countless number of times demanding he leave, him taking my phone off me so I couldn't call the police and hurting my wrists so I developed bruises, he did leave.
I am completely fed up of this now. This guy doesn't get the hint, so please don't sypathise with him.
The guy in question here upset me more than anything and I know longer wish to have anything to do with him. He knows this
HOWEVER
Not only does he constantly text me/leave my voice message/pms
Not only does he create threads on here (this I think is the third)
But a couple of weeks ago, he waiting outside my home for me to get home and despite telling him I did not want to see him he forced his way into my flat. This was because he wanted to pay me back some money but I didn't want it I just wanted him gone. Two hours later after me countless number of times demanding he leave, him taking my phone off me so I couldn't call the police and hurting my wrists so I developed bruises, he did leave.
I am completely fed up of this now. This guy doesn't get the hint, so please don't sypathise with him.
I havent said anything that would make you sound like a bitch at all.
I hadnt sent you a txt in 2 weeks untill yesterday. I locked my phone away and deliberately left the key at home. The only reason I even got the phone was that I had to break the lock on the box to call an ambulance for someone on friday.
I havent created any threads. theres a list of all the threads a person has created in their personal profile.
The purpose of the thread was to actually get advice as to how I go about getting over these things going around my head. It wasnt a "help me get back with her" thread. It was and is wtf is wrong with me and how do I sort it out thread.
Note the part in bold.
Yes i still care about you and miss you a lot. But, i'd actually like to get my life back to some degree of normality one way or the other.
I hadnt sent you a txt in 2 weeks untill yesterday. I locked my phone away and deliberately left the key at home. The only reason I even got the phone was that I had to break the lock on the box to call an ambulance for someone on friday.
I havent created any threads. theres a list of all the threads a person has created in their personal profile.
The purpose of the thread was to actually get advice as to how I go about getting over these things going around my head. It wasnt a "help me get back with her" thread. It was and is wtf is wrong with me and how do I sort it out thread.
Note the part in bold.
JC.
How can you win back someone that wont even acknowledge you or even talk to you? If the answer is simply "you cant" how the heck do I stop myself from thinking about her and missing her and wishing I could be with her every hour of the day now 2 months after the event.
Yes i still care about you and miss you a lot. But, i'd actually like to get my life back to some degree of normality one way or the other.
I'm not too fond of the V8s myself, even though I'm a die-hard American racing fan. I'm more of a motorcycle guy myself (I used to race bikes locally out here in Hawaii - Yamaha R6) so if you have an R1 up, you can give that to me and I'll be your personal love doctor 
But seriously, if the girl earlier is the girl you were referring to in the post, it's obvious she hates you or doesn't appreciate you in the same way anymore.
I firstly want to reassure you that it's not your fault. We're men, and we make mistakes with women all the time. You made an error in judgment; so what? You're a 21 year old Welsh guy. That's a fact. I do think you should move on, if anything this experience will be a life lesson for you and you shouldn't regret what happened.
If you want to stop thinking about her, the best way is to simply expand your options and keep yourself busy. By all means, get your V8 back on the road - I'm not familiar with MGDs, but you should've bought a real muscle car in the first place anyway - like a '66 Ford Mustang or Stingray Corvette Make it a point to replace the thoughts of her in your life with images and exciting anticipation of meeting another girl (and let's hope you dont make the same mistake again with her). Get the MGD back up, advertise to your friends and girlfriends that you're single and looking, and ask that cute girl in your 8AM lecture if she'll have coffee with you (or tea, as your Brits like it.)
Overall I want you to know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and when one door closes, another opens.
But seriously, if the girl earlier is the girl you were referring to in the post, it's obvious she hates you or doesn't appreciate you in the same way anymore.
I firstly want to reassure you that it's not your fault. We're men, and we make mistakes with women all the time. You made an error in judgment; so what? You're a 21 year old Welsh guy. That's a fact. I do think you should move on, if anything this experience will be a life lesson for you and you shouldn't regret what happened.
If you want to stop thinking about her, the best way is to simply expand your options and keep yourself busy. By all means, get your V8 back on the road - I'm not familiar with MGDs, but you should've bought a real muscle car in the first place anyway - like a '66 Ford Mustang or Stingray Corvette
Make it a point to replace the thoughts of her in your life with images and exciting anticipation of meeting another girl (and let's hope you dont make the same mistake again with her). Get the MGD back up, advertise to your friends and girlfriends that you're single and looking, and ask that cute girl in your 8AM lecture if she'll have coffee with you (or tea, as your Brits like it.)Overall I want you to know that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and when one door closes, another opens.
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