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Dibs/Shotgun/Calling Guys...
Right I know it's really immature but my friends operate a calling guys policy. So you see him first and you call/dibs/shotgun him and his yours. They are off limits.
Now a friend is quite promiscuous (sp?) and has slept with scores of blokes, all of which are then called and remain hers indefinitely. I'm no saint but in the last year I've slept with three guys, 2 of which I would class as serious and no one for over 3 months. I don't feel confident around guys like I did when I was younger and I often assume a sarcy one of the lads role.
There's this one guy we've known for ages who she's called. His really sweet and I've liked him since May when he looked after me at a party. I was really messy and he held me in a tent and chatted to me all night while I drifted in and out of sleep and gave me his jumper when I complained I was cold. He told me honestly about his childhood when I prompted him and was just so nice.
I don't see him that much but he played a gig last week and afterwards he was storing his decks at mine for a while. I offered a hand carrying them and he said i only want the right hand and then we were joking about and kissed. We were both quite drunk (I was) and our mates took the piss after.
Then the next night my girlfriends went out and I was pointedly not invited. I thought it was because he was my friends ex from like a year ago but it turned out he was called by the promiscuous girl. Apparently he's her unofficial property and when I said I didn't know they told me everyone knew. They then said I was forgiven because it was a silly drunk kiss and I wasn't to know but I had to stay away from him in that way forever more.
When I probed they had a shag on the side twice about 9 months ago and I've heard him say about her in conversations well everyone's been with her and that 'we all make mistakes'. Is this fair grounds for calling? Is it unacceptable to contest the calling? What do I do when he comes round mine later to collect his decks? I do like him and I want to chat to him cos he's nice but I don't wanna piss off my friend. Help!
Now a friend is quite promiscuous (sp?) and has slept with scores of blokes, all of which are then called and remain hers indefinitely. I'm no saint but in the last year I've slept with three guys, 2 of which I would class as serious and no one for over 3 months. I don't feel confident around guys like I did when I was younger and I often assume a sarcy one of the lads role.
There's this one guy we've known for ages who she's called. His really sweet and I've liked him since May when he looked after me at a party. I was really messy and he held me in a tent and chatted to me all night while I drifted in and out of sleep and gave me his jumper when I complained I was cold. He told me honestly about his childhood when I prompted him and was just so nice.
I don't see him that much but he played a gig last week and afterwards he was storing his decks at mine for a while. I offered a hand carrying them and he said i only want the right hand and then we were joking about and kissed. We were both quite drunk (I was) and our mates took the piss after.
Then the next night my girlfriends went out and I was pointedly not invited. I thought it was because he was my friends ex from like a year ago but it turned out he was called by the promiscuous girl. Apparently he's her unofficial property and when I said I didn't know they told me everyone knew. They then said I was forgiven because it was a silly drunk kiss and I wasn't to know but I had to stay away from him in that way forever more.
When I probed they had a shag on the side twice about 9 months ago and I've heard him say about her in conversations well everyone's been with her and that 'we all make mistakes'. Is this fair grounds for calling? Is it unacceptable to contest the calling? What do I do when he comes round mine later to collect his decks? I do like him and I want to chat to him cos he's nice but I don't wanna piss off my friend. Help!
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**** your friend, frankly. She's being a silly immature bint. 
How's this friendship?
This all reminds me of the film "Mean Girls". It was a comedy - I need say no more.
How's this friendship?This all reminds me of the film "Mean Girls". It was a comedy - I need say no more.
Explain the Laws of Shotgun to your friend. If she called shotgun and shagged him as a one off (or twice off) then lost interest, it's void. If he lost interest, it's void.
Seriously. If he's interested in you, and you're interested in him, and she didn't have some kind of amazing 2-year relationship with him, I don't see any problem with you hooking up with him.
Seriously. If he's interested in you, and you're interested in him, and she didn't have some kind of amazing 2-year relationship with him, I don't see any problem with you hooking up with him.
I can't kind of call it off we've done it for years but it's always been clear cut. You call an ex/guy you have a strong emotional connection to or one you have a high chance of getting with and are going for. This blurs the lines and I don't know where to fall. They're really good mates other than this and we have a lot of fun. They've stuck up for me in the past and they know me inside out. I don't want a boy to come between us but I also think it's unfair. When I asked my mate about it she said don't go there, he was her's because they 'go way back'. She's got 4 other blokes she's actually sleeping with atm why can't I have her offcasts?
I think they don't realise they're shotgunned. Some of them are like **** buddies (she has up to about 6 I thinK) but I think some don't know. I'm gonna chat to him about it tonight and see if he knows his called!
I think they don't realise they're shotgunned. Some of them are like **** buddies (she has up to about 6 I thinK) but I think some don't know. I'm gonna chat to him about it tonight and see if he knows his called!
ro-ro
I can't kind of call it off we've done it for years but it's always been clear cut. You call an ex/guy you have a strong emotional connection to or one you have a high chance of getting with and are going for. This blurs the lines and I don't know where to fall. They're really good mates other than this and we have a lot of fun. They've stuck up for me in the past and they know me inside out. I don't want a boy to come between us but I also think it's unfair. When I asked my mate about it she said don't go there, he was her's because they 'go way back'. She's got 4 other blokes she's actually sleeping with atm why can't I have her offcasts?
I think they don't realise they're shotgunned. Some of them are like **** buddies (she has up to about 6 I thinK) but I think some don't know. I'm gonna chat to him about it tonight and see if he knows his called!
I think they don't realise they're shotgunned. Some of them are like **** buddies (she has up to about 6 I thinK) but I think some don't know. I'm gonna chat to him about it tonight and see if he knows his called!
Try calling "bagsy black magic" since you're still stuck in that phase. Alternatively Shotgun her wages and then swap for the guy.
ro-ro
Right I know it's really immature but my friends operate a calling guys policy.
Bingo.
Why the hell you'd pay attention to a "calling guys policy" is beyond me. Jokingly calling the front seat in the car is one thing, but calling guys is another.
In other words, ignore the whole thing. If you like him, go for it - if your "friend" complains, then just remind her how stupid this whole thing is.
Oh for goodness sake! How old are you guys? You can't call 'shotgun' on guys, merely because you saw them first! I don't think you are in the wrong for liking someone! I only think people can be said to be 'off-limits' when they are actually not single, or clearly 'attached' to someone. Not just someone who they like the look of.
This is insane tell them you really like the guy and you think it's unfair seeing as he was just a one night stand to her. If I was this guy I know I'd not be happy if I couldn't go out with somebody just because their mate thinks I'm their property!
ro-ro
I can't kind of call it off we've done it for years but it's always been clear cut. You call an ex/guy you have a strong emotional connection to or one you have a high chance of getting with and are going for. This blurs the lines and I don't know where to fall. They're really good mates other than this and we have a lot of fun. They've stuck up for me in the past and they know me inside out. I don't want a boy to come between us but I also think it's unfair. When I asked my mate about it she said don't go there, he was her's because they 'go way back'. She's got 4 other blokes she's actually sleeping with atm why can't I have her offcasts?
I think they don't realise they're shotgunned. Some of them are like **** buddies (she has up to about 6 I thinK) but I think some don't know. I'm gonna chat to him about it tonight and see if he knows his called!
I think they don't realise they're shotgunned. Some of them are like **** buddies (she has up to about 6 I thinK) but I think some don't know. I'm gonna chat to him about it tonight and see if he knows his called!
So she generally assumes that if she's had a quick shag with someone then she gains ownership of them and can dictate how they live their life? She needs to grow up and learn to respect other people (and herself, come to that).
Why you going along with this if you think it's immature, you're friend is so bloody childish.
OP, I don't know what's more hilarious/sad; the fact that you operate this policy among yourselves in the first place, or the fact that you are worried about 'breaking the rules'.
As everyone else has said, the whole thing is very childish. Also, I'm very sorry to say but you sound like a group of sluts (sorry if you're not - and in all fairness you sound the least slutish since you actually seem to be quite interested in this guy) - but that other girl who "has 4 guys at the moment", errrm well that's just wrong right there!!!
I'm not worried so much about the childish "dibs" thing but rather more that you are a group of friends who seem to call these dibs and then go and shag them - if you went to your friends and said "Actually I'm sorry but this is more than sex, I really like this guy" then surely they would see that you're not just "calling dibs" on him but actually feel something for him?
If not then your friends are a bunch of losers who don't know the meaning of friendship
I'm not worried so much about the childish "dibs" thing but rather more that you are a group of friends who seem to call these dibs and then go and shag them - if you went to your friends and said "Actually I'm sorry but this is more than sex, I really like this guy" then surely they would see that you're not just "calling dibs" on him but actually feel something for him?
If not then your friends are a bunch of losers who don't know the meaning of friendship
Brilliant! Shotgun Keanu Reeves!
Avo
Have a talk with 'the girls' and call this silly shotgun business off. It's ridiculous.
Yeah, that.
Tell them it is BS.
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe your friend is a slut,or maybe a hoe.
I'm not debating if she's a slut she is but the rest of us aren't. the whole idea is stops people getting upset because sometime people get really strong crushes on guys but don't do anything for a while or there's conflicted interests, etc.
U say say it's immature and tell them to stop it my entire group of friends do it. I know peer pressure isn't cool, etc, etc but if I broke it I would get bitchy comments from everyone. These are my best friends and it's the first problem we've had working with it.
I just wondered if anyone else operated anything like it and if so did the know the sort of moral guidelines.
U say say it's immature and tell them to stop it my entire group of friends do it. I know peer pressure isn't cool, etc, etc but if I broke it I would get bitchy comments from everyone. These are my best friends and it's the first problem we've had working with it.
I just wondered if anyone else operated anything like it and if so did the know the sort of moral guidelines.
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