initiating sex

i find it difficult to initiate intimacy & during sex i tend to leave it up to the girl to begin stuff, all of which makes me less fun to be with
its probably an inexprience / unconfident thing
i just wondered whether anybody might have any suggestions as to how i could get over this?

Reply 1

*Katie*

I'm slightly confused..
Do you mean that
a) you find it hard to initiate sexual activity?
b) you find it hard to initiate the sex part, after foreplay?
c) you find it hard to be intimate during sex?

Be confident.

I read it as he finds it hard to let his partner know he's in the mood for sexual activity but I could be wrong :s-smilie:

Reply 4

sorry, basicly
a) i find it hard to initiate sexual activity
&
b) i find it hard to initiate the sex part, after foreplay?

Reply 5

George Agdgdgwngo

Sorry, this isn't very helpful, but do some people find that things just pan out? It's hard to explain, but one thing leads to another and it just kind of 'flows' :redface:

. I've never had to ask a girl (while we were being intimate), "should we have sex now" or similar, it just sort of happens. I've said dirtier things than that mind you, can't beat a bit of dirty talk. :p:

To OP just try and relax, if she seems comfortable, just progress with whatever you are doing. Also, I find a couple of drinks helps with relaxing :wink:

Reply 6

randomgirl

Well kissing can lead on to other things..

So just have a good ol' kiss, perhaps lay on the bed, hands start to move etc. It normally just kind of happens :p:

Reply 7

username94219

George Agdgdgwngo

Sorry, this isn't very helpful, but do some people find that things just pan out? It's hard to explain, but one thing leads to another and it just kind of 'flows' :redface:

To OP just try and relax, if she seems comfortable, just progress with whatever you are doing. Also, I find a couple of drinks helps with relaxing :wink:

^^I agree - it just all kind of flows and falls into place and will feel right - if that makes sense.

Reply 8

SmilerNuts

Why do you find it hard OP? Do you stop and think about it too much or think you're supposed to ask for permission before doing anything or what?

Reply 9

martinos101

We all have been there before, some people pick it up earlier than others. Sex is one of those unpredictable things, if it feels right at the particular moment, it usually happens.

Asking your partner "Can we have sex now?" sorta kills the moment, DEAD!

Maybe you should try and gather up the confidence to try.

Hope that helps :smile:

Reply 10

SilverWings

Maybe his problem isn't that he thinks he needs to ask before foreplay but just that he can't judge when to get his cock out. And maybe his problem isn't that he thinks he needs to ask before sexual intercourse, he just can't judge when to stick his cock in her. Maybe.