feeling totally trapped

basically ... this is the second time i've attempted uni after dropping out due to depression and anxiety.

I've taken the gamble of going back to uni, and i'm feeling terrible still.

I feel totally trapped and unsure what to do.

I was still very depressed at home and know i would be if i went back, uni is not the trigger for this.

but on the other hand i get so down (three near suicides in the last week) that i am extremely concerned for my welfare. when i'm thinking rationally and look back on what i've nearly done it scares the **** out of me.

i don't want to drop out for the second time, i don't think it would solve anything ... on the other hand i'm concerned i may eventually succeed and hurt myself here. but i know i would feel even worse at home ... and it would probably mean an end to uni ... this is really my last chance.

Reply 1

Ariadne

Please please please don't try and commit suicide again. If ever you're feeling down and think you're close to the edge, talk to people on tsr or something, there seem to be lots of people who've had similar problems.

I've just realised how naive my first sentence sounds, but I hope you understand my meaning. What is it that gets you depressed? If you're worried, try a uni counselling service or nationally try the Samaritans. They might be able to help you.

:hugs:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

i'm in counselling, i'm on medication, i'm seeing the doctor every week, mentoring ... everything ... and i'm still feeling **** ... there is only so much of feeling like this i can take.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

words fail me (mygod) dont mean to be so narsty , but ( i am so reliefied i am not in your shoes at the moment) shirely got to ne someone you can turn to for help to talk with!! help got be around for your!! :wink:

Reply 4

Lady Venom

What makes you happy? Is there anything? If there is I suggest a good does of it as a very temporary ray of sushine. I don't know if you are M of F so can't really suggest things. Why do you feel trapped? Perhaps venting some of you worries on here may help. Suicide is not the way to go. It surely can't be so bad that you feel you have to trade your life in?

Reply 5

Ariadne

Well, thinking practically, maybe get rid of any pills, razors etc in your room. That way, if you're tempted, it isn't such an easy option. Do you keep a diary or anything? If you note down whenever you feel particularly depressed, you might work out what the major triggers are and work from there.

Reply 6

randomgirl

Sorry to hear you are in such a bad place. Do those close to you know what you are experiencing?

Talk to people or distract yourself. Do something creative, art?poetry?whatever.

PM me if you like, I'm a good listener (and reader) :smile: