Just feel so socially lost - I'm a BBC btw.

Hey, well lets cut to the chase because i've been feeling crap for what seems like ages and this forum is a last resort as i can't talk to anyone about how i feel. Basically, i'm a chinese guy and in high school i used to be in the trendy crowd. That is, the crowd where no feelings were apparent but we were happy because we were. However, times change and so do people. My so called 'friends' seperated and went behind my back to quickly become popular with the new people in the new college i went to. Now, they dirtily use my race to segregate me. I have had such a culture shock, i am alone most of the time now. But heck, i don't care really, i just don't want to hang around with different people. I don't know whats wrong with me but i find that a lot of people are strange, maybe i was so accustomed to being an idiot in the past but now i feel stupid for not adapting.

What should i do? People are now so different in wanting to be popular etc and i've been left behind.

Also, in my headstrong way of thinking in the past i've now realised that my ambition of becoming an MP/higher up is very low in probability ( i want to be a lawyer first though). However, with me being Chinese i don't think this will ever happen. I just feel as though what i've been working for is in vain. I have a burning passion for public speaking. My teachers say i have a natural talent for it and thus far i have won every speaking competition i've entered. I just want my ambitions so badly.

Reply 1

Tyler Durden

17

Friends come and go, experiences that will get you the job you want stay! I don't fully understand your friend issues - but sounds like some people were jerks. Just carry on with the public speaking and make sure you work hard if you want a job like that. There's no reason that being Chinese (especially a BBC) will make things an issue. In this day and age there is no excuse for racism, and it's being stamped out pretty effectively from what I see in my day to day life. I dunno, but if you give up now then there's definitely no hope!

Reply 2

Dionysus

15

No reason why a Chinese person cannot be involved and successful in politics/law at all. I don't think there are any real barriers these days, as long as you are determined and make the right moves.

Reply 3

Poet

Why don't you try joining a society which could help you meet new people? You could join a society which reflect a hobby, your subject or even your culture/religion/belief. You could even join in on something you've never tried before which could open doors for you. The best thing about uni is that there are plenty of option.

Seeing as you're experiencing a few woes first handed, you could contact your student union and talk to them and even think about setting up/joining an organisation which guides people who are feeling a bit left out in their first year of university.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

miltonkeynes

I'm a BBC too, and I understand how you feel to an extent. I tend to choose to view life in a positive manner and that it takes individuals to break down barriers such as Chinese Britons in politics and media. There are always going to be barriers and virtual ceilings, but the worst thing it can do is to limit your ambition.

You shouldn't seek to ingratiate yourself with people who will use race as a reason to hate you. There are plenty of people in the world who judge on inherent qualities and features of individuals, you just have to find them.

I'm not saying that I have necessarily found the answer or the right formula to be happy with who I am and striking the balance between individuality and commonality, in fact I meet the same issues as you on a regular basis, but the most important thing is to loving yourself, not demean your character and present yourself the way you want to, not to be in with the "cool" crowd.

If you want, we can talk on MSN. I have exceedingly few close Chinese friends, I could count them on one hand and have many spare fingers. I hope going to university will help me discover myself in that respect.

Firstly, thank you everyone. I have reflected, and i feel that i have a lot of guilt surrounding myself. I did things i regret, most namely bullying. I will apologise to these people and hope that they will accept this.
Also, i also have very few chinese friends, and it would be nice to talk to anyone who is.

Reply 5

applejuice345

you should be lucky you've broken away from that crowd really. People change, sometimes for better and sometimes for worse.
socially, you shouldn't really try to fit in with any crowd really, just be yourself and new people will come along so just be happy that you've discovered this now rather than later on.
who needs them..

oh, I am also a bbc :smile:

Reply 6

Rei

14

why is it that some chinese people refer to themselves as BBC... does that mean i should refer to myself as a BBP.. or an african should say BBA :P

anyway, yeah man.. just be yourself, don't look too uncomfortable.. you feel bad about bullying..thats quite a good sign actually :p:

you seem like a nice guy - Although if any guy, let alone him being chinese tried to bully me.. I'd beat him up.. then kill him.. then bury him.. [lol just kiddin]

Actually i dont know why ive written that last bit

Reply 7

Wangers

16

These days people are more likely to be judged by the content of their character rather then what school they went to, what their lineage is or which old school tie they happen to wear. There is no reason why you can't make your own way in life.

In the words of one Sir Winston Churchill, in a speech to his old school (Harrow) after the War:

Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

the bullying was part of a group, because everyone else did it i was drawn into the mob culture so to speak. And Rei mate, in all honesty, i can wipe the floor with you :d .

Wangers, that is really good to hear, however, actions are louder than words and i have no idea on how to become an MP ...

Reply 9

Caribou

1

BBC??? Big beautiful ..chinaman?

Reply 10

Citizen Zero

13

HagerVor

BBC??? Big beautiful ..chinaman?

British Born Chinese.

Reply 11

Caribou

1

Citizen Zero

British Born Chinese.

that would make more sense..

Reply 12

Rei

14

Anonymous

the bullying was part of a group, because everyone else did it i was drawn into the mob culture so to speak. And Rei mate, in all honesty, i can wipe the floor with you :d .

Wangers, that is really good to hear, however, actions are louder than words and i have no idea on how to become an MP ...

Ouch.. thats exactly what the last guy said..

no thats like.. EXACTLY what he said.. lol :biggrin:

Reply 13

the wolf at the door

11

i have trouble liking people. I usually see their bad sides. In fact, it's rare for me to ever like someone. I have 2 friends who i actually enjoy spending time with.

it seems like you feel that being Chinese is holding you back in our society. Maybe you could look for a job could change that idea. Kinda like an MP...

Reply 14

Rei

14

Its much easier to be chinese than some other race that pops to mind imo.

Reply 15

Wangers

16

HagerVor

BBC??? Big beautiful ..chinaman?

I am indeed.

OP, look up Ed Balls, if he can manage it, then you can bloody well give it your best shot.

Reply 16

Angrybanana

11

Rei

Its much easier to be chinese than some other race that pops to mind imo.

Which is the race that pops to mind?

Reply 17

qubog

12

Angrybanana

Which is the race that pops to mind?

Iraqi?

Reply 18

alex_hk90

19

miltonkeynes

Really? Chinese culture is extremely imposing. I could name races that it's easier to be.

But at least racism against Chinese people in the UK is generally limited to the odd name-calling relating to fried rice or chicken chow mein.

And before anyone gets offended by that, I am half Chinese myself and was born in Hong Kong (so not a BBC :wink:

).

Reply 19

Rei

14

lol i can understand, chinese people may not have it easy... but you have to admit, the general image given to southern asians nowadays isnt very delightful either.

Just feel so socially lost - I'm a BBC btw.

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