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Sexual conversations with friends

Anon because the girl i fancy uses these forums and knows my username.

I'm 18 and I fancy a girl, things would usually be easy as 1,2,3...however...

- Shes my best friend
- She has a new boyfriend who she plans on getting married to. (they've known each other for ages) He lives in another country.
- She thinks I don't fancy her because I swore an oath that I didn't (I know, I'm a ****).

I asked on here a few months ago if it was allright to fancy your best friend without telling them...The consensus was "Yeah its fine". So I've continued our friendship.

The thing is, I can deal with it and stuff...I don't mind fancying her and not going out with her...but she is SO damn dirty.

Our conversations go on into the night. We can chat for 3 or 4 hours without stopping because...we've just got so much in common. However, later on into the night the conversations get dirty. Its awful...its usually jokey-sexual conversations...but sometimes she goes a bit over the top and I get a bit excited (down there). She also tells me everything that she did with her boyfriend when she went on holiday (really dirty stuff)

Its just SO crap...I can't explain it, I enjoy the sexual conversations (with a girl you fancy...who wouldn't?)...but...blah.

I've lost my point to creating this thread. I'm just worried. I trust this girl with my life and she trusts me with hers. Shes the first person I text when I find out something new and I'm the first person she texts.

To be honest it feels like we're boyfriend and girlfriend...without any physical contact.

Blah I'm rambling now. Any thoughts would be awesome :frown:

Reply 1

generalebriety

16

That's a **** situation. Been there, done that; get rid, seriously. Either get rid of the sexual chat or get rid of your crush on her or get rid of her as a friend, but get rid of the situation in some respect, for your own sanity.

Reply 2

Metrobeans

19

Stop the sex talk. If it's getting you horny all the time, you're only gonna end up more frustrated that you can't have what you want.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

generalebriety

That's a **** situation. Been there, done that; get rid, seriously. Either get rid of the sexual chat or get rid of your crush on her or get rid of her as a friend, but get rid of the situation in some respect, for your own sanity.

Which of those 3 options did you choose mate?

You do understand where I'm coming from right? I mean come on if the girl you really fancy (like nearly in love with kinda thing) tells you she wants to do stuff with you...you wouldn't really want that to stop...would you?

I'm so confused :frown:

Reply 4

fargo89

13

been in the same boat, chose option 1 and eventually 2. now thankful to have them as a friend and wouldnt want it any other way.

good friends are worth keeping, you know? and hey its nice to have hot mates too.

Reply 5

][ceman

8

My god! You have literally described the EXACT situation I'm in! It's so close its scary! I'm going to watching this thread with great interest to see what people say!

Horny ****er.

I hope you swore on the "Wheres Wally" oath.

Reply 8

Dionysus

15

You're going to have to tell her the truth, or you could be in this situation for years. As for the boyfriend she's definitely going to marry, if I had a pound for every time I've heard that one...

Reply 9

generalebriety

16

Anonymous

Which of those 3 options did you choose mate?

You do understand where I'm coming from right? I mean come on if the girl you really fancy (like nearly in love with kinda thing) tells you she wants to do stuff with you...you wouldn't really want that to stop...would you?

I'm so confused :frown:

Course not, but if you know it's not gonna happen then it has to stop. You only don't want it to stop because you think there's a chance it could happen, but if there isn't, then get rid of it.

(And since you asked, I ended up doing the third option. Nasty stuff, but better than being obsessed all my life.)

Reply 10

SilverWings

14

Pretty common situation.

Stay where you are and it has the possibility of messing you up completely for a long long time.

Reply 11

silverbolt

19

Dionysus

You're going to have to tell her the truth, or you could be in this situation for years. As for the boyfriend she's definitely going to marry, if I had a pound for every time I've heard that one...

you could half to charity and still buy out bill gates.

OP congratulations your a surrogate bf. Shes using you to fill the hole when the bfs not around, probably not intentionally either.

You need to whack it on the head . (pun not intended)

Reply 12

Wangers

16

Anonymous

I asked on here a few months ago if it was allright to fancy your best friend without telling them...The consensus was "Yeah its fine". So I've continued our friendship.

Please tell me you're not basing your decisions solely around a TSR consensus? (Not that these arn't luovely people.....)

Reply 13

Poica

14

Stop it. It will only drive you mad. Be hard with yourself or it will hurt you more in the long-run. If necessary, tell her how you feel. She'll probably get a bit freaked out and back off for a while. This is a good thing - it gives you space to work out your head.

Reply 14

rosetinted

2

Yeah you need to cut the sex talk. She's been jokingly rambling on about sex and dirty things thinking it's to a friend who finds it funny. I know I'd be very creeped out if I suddenly discovered my friend actually fancied me and had been getting off on our conversations. I'd then think back about all the things I'd said and be horribly embarrassed and ashamed!

Reply 15

Toy Soldier

3

generalebriety

That's a **** situation. Been there, done that; get rid, seriously. Either get rid of the sexual chat or get rid of your crush on her or get rid of her as a friend, but get rid of the situation in some respect, for your own sanity.

Agreed.

I asked on here a few months ago if it was allright to fancy your best friend without telling them...The consensus was "Yeah its fine". So I've continued our friendship.

They were talking **** mate, it's not fine at all, it'll do your head in. If you can't get over your feelings for her (and I mean properly, not just trying to convince yourself and others that it's not the case when it really is) then you have to get as far away from her as possible. You'll get over it more quickly than you'd think. All or nothing is really the only way to go in my opinion, so basically you might as well tell her (don't hint at it, just come out with it) how you feel, because you never know, but if she's not interested then let the "friendship" die. It's not a real friendship anyway - not if it's that lopsided.

Reply 16

qubog

12

Yeah I agree, just tell her. Have you considered that shes telling you this stuff to try and make you see her in a different light?

Reply 17

Anonymous #2

beeeen thereeee, still am i think lol
you've just got to stop kidding yourself, tell yourself shes a friend or nothing
sit back, and if it is meant to be, it will work itself out

Reply 18

username47781

20

As the others said you need to stop the sex talk because otherwise you will only feel a lot worse.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

catharsis.

Thats her answer to WHY she doesn't mind having sexual talks with me.

I'm still confused about its meaning, but I think I've got it. Blah... :frown:

.

I guess I'll see... :frown:

Sexual conversations with friends

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