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How can he move on so fast?
My boyfriend and I were together for two genuinely incredible years. He used to tell me that I was the girl he wanted to marry, the love of his life, you name it. I'm a little bit older than a lot of the posters on here (22), and he's a bit older than me (30), so those words really seemed like they meant something, and we were planning our whole lives together.
I won't go into the whole story here because there's no point, but we split up exactly 8 weeks ago, for many reasons - none of which were that we weren't in love any more. 6 weeks after we split, he went on holiday with a friend. Now, I've just found out that a girl he met on holiday is flying several hundred miles to stay with him for a weekend in a few weeks time.
I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I've seen him a few times since we split, as friends, and nothing has 'happened', but we've always hugged far too long when we parted, and there's been drunken/sentimental 'I miss you' or 'I'm thinking of you' texts on both parts. I wasn't expecting us to get back together, but I wasn't ruling it out either. I certainly wasn't expecting him to already be jumping into bed with someone else when I still cry over him every single day. I saw him just a few days ago for dinner, and he was the one calling me by my old nickname and reminiscing over things we'd done in the past.
I know I sound pathetic, but I adored this man with all my heart (still do) and feel like I've got a long and painful road ahead of me in getting over him. I just can't believe he's already in bed with someone else, who will fly overseas to see him. I can't bear the fact he'll be getting excited about seeing her in the way he used to get excited about seeing me, that she'll be sharing 'our' flat and 'our' bed, when I still miss him so much that it hurts every single day of my life.
He was the one who mainly instigated the break up, but it wasn't an easy decision on either side and eight weeks ago I had him absolutely sobbing in my arms. It's just not fair that he can throw himself into something with somebody else, when for me, no one even comes close to him and I can't imagine a time when they will. I'm really struggling to get over him, and he's already got a girl who'll fly hundreds of miles to see him. Where's the justice in that?
I don't think there's any advice anyone can give me, but I just had to let this all out, because it hurts so much that it feels like I can't breathe.
I won't go into the whole story here because there's no point, but we split up exactly 8 weeks ago, for many reasons - none of which were that we weren't in love any more. 6 weeks after we split, he went on holiday with a friend. Now, I've just found out that a girl he met on holiday is flying several hundred miles to stay with him for a weekend in a few weeks time.
I feel absolutely sick to my stomach. I've seen him a few times since we split, as friends, and nothing has 'happened', but we've always hugged far too long when we parted, and there's been drunken/sentimental 'I miss you' or 'I'm thinking of you' texts on both parts. I wasn't expecting us to get back together, but I wasn't ruling it out either. I certainly wasn't expecting him to already be jumping into bed with someone else when I still cry over him every single day. I saw him just a few days ago for dinner, and he was the one calling me by my old nickname and reminiscing over things we'd done in the past.
I know I sound pathetic, but I adored this man with all my heart (still do) and feel like I've got a long and painful road ahead of me in getting over him. I just can't believe he's already in bed with someone else, who will fly overseas to see him. I can't bear the fact he'll be getting excited about seeing her in the way he used to get excited about seeing me, that she'll be sharing 'our' flat and 'our' bed, when I still miss him so much that it hurts every single day of my life.
He was the one who mainly instigated the break up, but it wasn't an easy decision on either side and eight weeks ago I had him absolutely sobbing in my arms. It's just not fair that he can throw himself into something with somebody else, when for me, no one even comes close to him and I can't imagine a time when they will. I'm really struggling to get over him, and he's already got a girl who'll fly hundreds of miles to see him. Where's the justice in that?
I don't think there's any advice anyone can give me, but I just had to let this all out, because it hurts so much that it feels like I can't breathe.
It seems that he is simply just not a sensitive as you in regards to relationships and isn't having to overcome the emotional hurdles you face.
A contributing factor could be the age gap between you. Have you also considered that find a substitute could be his way to dealing with the break up? Its a tough emotional time but time will heal.
A contributing factor could be the age gap between you. Have you also considered that find a substitute could be his way to dealing with the break up? Its a tough emotional time but time will heal.
Thanks alexjc. I know you're right; time (maybe lots of it) will heal. I just wish I knew how much time it would take, and I wish I could just go to sleep and wake up when it's all over.
He hasn't moved on lol. You dont spend 2 years with a girl and then move on in a few weeks. Just doesn't work like that for any guy! lol.
Its gonna take time for both of you. Just stay friends with him! Who knows what will happen in the future, and if he only stays a friend then at least you have a really close friend!
Its gonna take time for both of you. Just stay friends with him! Who knows what will happen in the future, and if he only stays a friend then at least you have a really close friend!
My advice would be to surround yourself with your friends and/or family for abit. People who you can count on for support 
Don't be a pain to them and they will understand your simply going through a rough time. You will feel alot better when you realise there are still people in the world that care about you, despite the old bf being gone.
Don't be a pain to them and they will understand your simply going through a rough time. You will feel alot better when you realise there are still people in the world that care about you, despite the old bf being gone.
He's on the rebound. The decision to break-up was his; so, while he clearly misses you, he has nonetheless come to terms with the idea that your relationship simply isn't feasible. You can't yet begin to get over him, on the other hand, because the reasons for this break-up are not your reasons: because, but for that decision, you'd still be together.
Thanks guys.
i would say its rebound - guys are good at that - it makes them look like they're not hurting inside
we've all been there. i would say him 'hooking up' with someone else is his way of leaving you behind, and moving on.
i was in the exact situation a year ago. boyfriend of 2 years had just started uni and had told me all that stuff that your bf told you. granted, we are much younger, but still, same kind of story. i think (i'm not sure) he ended it because of someone else though, not because we weren't in love. i'm sure we were, but we both wanted different things.
at the end of the day, it's happened for the best. grab a load of your best mates, and go out, enjoy being young! you'll soon find someone a thousand times better than him. i did, and it usually happens alot quicker than you would think.
i was in the exact situation a year ago. boyfriend of 2 years had just started uni and had told me all that stuff that your bf told you. granted, we are much younger, but still, same kind of story. i think (i'm not sure) he ended it because of someone else though, not because we weren't in love. i'm sure we were, but we both wanted different things.
at the end of the day, it's happened for the best. grab a load of your best mates, and go out, enjoy being young! you'll soon find someone a thousand times better than him. i did, and it usually happens alot quicker than you would think.
People move on at different speeds, when I broke up with one of my ex's, it was like a relief because of the way she treated me, yet when I broke up with my last ex I was hurt for quite a while after, I am slowly getting over it but I think this will take a bit longer.
Rock Fan
People move on at different speeds, when I broke up with one of my ex's, it was like a relief because of the way she treated me, yet when I broke up with my last ex I was hurt for quite a while after, I am slowly getting over it but I think this will take a bit longer.
I tend to get jealous, if they start shagging others so soon
CantTheWorldHoldHands
I tend to get jealous, if they start shagging others so soon
Well it's quite natural to feel jealous if that happens.
I know exactly how you feel. I was with my ex for 4 years and he just decided one day that he wanted to 'enjoy the free single life' (his exact words) and moved out of our home.
Within a month he was sleeping with a girl from work that had been telling other collegues that I didn't deserve him and he should dump me and go out with her.
As you can guess I was mortified.
I wish I could tell you that it will all get better in time but over a year later I still hate it when I hear about him with another woman.
I'm sure after a few years it wont bother me anymore - lets hope its the same for you.
Within a month he was sleeping with a girl from work that had been telling other collegues that I didn't deserve him and he should dump me and go out with her.
As you can guess I was mortified.
I wish I could tell you that it will all get better in time but over a year later I still hate it when I hear about him with another woman.
I'm sure after a few years it wont bother me anymore - lets hope its the same for you.
Princesschickenbelly
I know exactly how you feel. I was with my ex for 4 years and he just decided one day that he wanted to 'enjoy the free single life' (his exact words) and moved out of our home.
Within a month he was sleeping with a girl from work that had been telling other collegues that I didn't deserve him and he should dump me and go out with her.
As you can guess I was mortified.
I wish I could tell you that it will all get better in time but over a year later I still hate it when I hear about him with another woman.
I'm sure after a few years it wont bother me anymore - lets hope its the same for you.
Within a month he was sleeping with a girl from work that had been telling other collegues that I didn't deserve him and he should dump me and go out with her.
As you can guess I was mortified.
I wish I could tell you that it will all get better in time but over a year later I still hate it when I hear about him with another woman.
I'm sure after a few years it wont bother me anymore - lets hope its the same for you.
I believe your can (syphize) with the ANON OP which is appricated on both parts she needs to get over her frustration and let go of her stress the OP DOES makes for some sleepless nights for the opening few lines!
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