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Being rejected by Oxbridge

Are most people philosophical about this or does it hurt you emotionally?
Did you take it personally? Did anyone feel they were clever yet not regarded as an Oxbridge type person?

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Reply 1

Chumbaniya

I can't speak from personal experience, but it depends very much on how important Oxbridge was to you and how you rated your chances. However, I know how easy it is to overhype the importance of Oxbridge when you're applying, and if this happens and you don't get in I imagine it can be quite painful.

Reply 2

arguendo

i think it can hurt to an extent; i wasn't hurt until it came to telling my friends. telling teachers, family, reading the letter -- all was fine. perhaps it was because of my friends' certainty i'd get in? or because they expected me to be upset; they were so lovely to me that i ended up crying. idk. i found it harder to tell my peers anyway. after interview i really didn't expect to get in though, as i knew any chance i'd got had been pretty much eradicated as there were two places for my course and i simply wasn't up to par. didn't mind that either, as the experience had taught me it was the wrong course for me. so i guess i wasn't altogether that hurt; i saw it as a learning curve.

i know someone who got pooled. they read the first sentence of their letter ('unfortunately we are unable to offer you a place', something like that) and assumed they'd been rejected and didn't read on. they were clearly emotionally hurt by it; i saw them in school later that day and they'd been/were crying. i think it hurt so much because they probably assumed they would get in; because teachers etc. -- everyone, even -- believed they would. and told them that. and then a letter turned up from another college, they realised, and they were over the moon. :smile:

that said, several of my friends who were rejected were fine by it. some didn't really like their experience of oxbridge anyway, and in that respect perhaps felt they weren't 'an oxbridge type person'; but i don't think anyone felt inferior for having been rejected -- certainly i didn't know anyone who did.

i suppose it does depend on whether or not your heart's set on oxbridge; and certainly if you thought you were bound to get in and were rejected i can imagine it would be painful.

Reply 3

Zenobia

I think the way I'll be upset by being rejected... will only be by the measure of my pride. I have been working -extremely- hard. Exhaustion or whatever isn't the issue, but the problem with it is... that no one at my school believes in me at all. They laugh at my efforts, they throw food at me when I re-sit my 8.8 (A) in history to make it higher. So it will really hurt that I can't prove to them I'm good enough for Oxford. (They don't know the names of any of the other four uni's I'm also applying to.) I really, really want to show them I'm worth more than they think.

Anyway, that doesn't say much. Because honestly, which sane person cares what others think or say? So I predict it won't affect me an awful lot. I'll just lose that one spark of satisfaction and I can't say it'd really bother me much. Today I found out I've got a really strong chance of being accepted at my back-up in the Netherlands (Roosevelt Academy, anyone ever heard of it? edit: right, that sounds far too arrogant, sorry) so I'm pretty certain I'll have excellent future education. I just figured I'd type the above out, because I'm curious... is anyone else in the same situation? Am I the only social outcast here? Does anyone care about their social insanity, or are you fine with having no friends...?
Slightly off-topic, but yeah, I'm just wondering if opinions of other people matter when you're accepted/rejected.

Reply 4

Profesh

I foreclosed on the 'worst-case' scenario by not applying.

Reply 5

naivesincerity

Zenobia

I really, really want to show them I'm worth more than they think.

I'd give friendly advice against living your life like that. Do things for yourself, learn not to give a toss what they think.

Reply 6

Zenobia

naivesincerity

I'd give friendly advice against living your life like that. Do things for yourself, learn not to give a toss what they think.

*nods* as I mentioned below that, it's only like this really small thing that would bother me. I've gotten over the evil in people years ago.
Don't worry, no one's judgement is ruining my life.

Reply 7

*Tears and Butterflies*

Meh...I don't think my rejection will bother me too much. I only applied becasue I could and didn't have anywhere else i wanted to apply to. Don't get me wrong. I would be extatic if I got in, but i know it aint going to happen :biggrin:

Reply 8

NickEM

Zenobia

I think the way I'll be upset by being rejected... will only be by the measure of my pride.

Me too. And smug people who will say that they knew I wouldn't get an offer... And then there's the fact that I do actually genuinely want to go there and that the course is perfect.

To be honest, although I'm not particularly confident at all, I would/will be pretty upset if/when I was/am rejected.

Reply 9

jinglepupskye

naivesincerity

Are most people philosophical about this or does it hurt you emotionally?
Did you take it personally? Did anyone feel they were clever yet not regarded as an Oxbridge type person?

I think that you have to be realistic. The vast majority of people who apply will be rejected. It isn't a judgement on you. It just means that there weren't sufficient places or the admission people got it wrong. I would put money on there being dropouts from the course along the way, and if people drop out then it is admission's fault for not realising those people were not up to it. So if they can make mistakes on the ones they select, it is only logical to assume that they sometimes get it wrong when they reject people.

My personal view to anyone who rejected me is, sod them, it's their loss!

Reply 10

The Solitary Reaper

I flit between thinking I have a good chance and not being able to see how I could possibly have any hope whatsoever... That said, I will be somewhat crushed for a while I think. I love pretty much everything about the place and although I am sure I'll be happy at any of the other four, I have unintentionally invested a lot into my Cambridge application and become rather caught up in it. Ah well.

Reply 11

Admonitor

Samuel R

Exactly the same as you really. Sometimes I'm fancying my chances, other times not at all. When I first applied it was more of a "may as well give it a go" and now it's become something of a priority. It really appeals and I think even if I'd be happy anywhere else, I'd be gutted not to get a place at Cambridge, even if it's incredibly hard to get into

On an unrelated note, I seem to be applying to a lot of the same unis as you (but for History) Cambridge, Durham, UCL, York (LSE being my difference)

Reply 12

jobo3

I doubt I'll get in, but I figure its worth a go. I always tend to expect the worst, then anything else that happens is a nice surprise :smile:

I'll obviously be annoyed if I don't get in simply because of the extra effort I put in, filling out forms and sending UCAS off earlier, but that's it. I also guess it'd damage my ego a bit, so far I've never had a major knock back, and there's the added pressure of friends expecting you to get in etc.

Reply 13

Kater Murr

Profesh

I foreclosed on the 'worst-case' scenario by not applying.

Cowardice!

Reply 14

tom_pinnock54

my friend got rejected by cambridge to do medicine! But i know two people who got into cambridge, but they are enormously clever!

Reply 15

sugar_cane

Samuel R

I flit between thinking I have a good chance and not being able to see how I could possibly have any hope whatsoever... That said, I will be somewhat crushed for a while I think. I love pretty much everything about the place and although I am sure I'll be happy at any of the other four, I have unintentionally invested a lot into my application and become rather caught up in it. Ah well.

Exactly what I feel.
I want to prove to everyone that I can do it (who doesn't?) I flit between thinking that I have a good chance and getting the rejection letter. Not getting in would be hard, but that's always the case when you don't achieve a goal. It won't be the ne dof the world, but disappointing nonetheless.

Reply 16

nosnibor

This sounds ridiculous, but I think I'll only be upset if someone else I know isn't as good a candidate as I am gets in for the same subject. I understand the view that "if they get in that means they must be better than you, it's your own arrogance" but I do see the whole thing as a bit of a lottery sometimes, i.e. dependent on which college you apply to, whether you get a professor you click with during your interview. I've heard many stories about 'exceptional' candidates who've applied and been rejected (i.e. with straight A*s, full marks at AS level etc.)

I suppose I see myself as in competition with the people from my school, as I've no way of knowing how I rank compared to the rest of the country.

Reply 17

Pikey

I got rejected last year. I'd never been raised for Oxbridge if you know what I mean and I had literally just been told to apply a few days before the deadline (which made for a very rushed personal statement) by one of my teachers - before then it had never occured to me. I didn't know anyone applying at the time, although it turned out that there were two more people in my college.

Anyway, I got past the HAT test and made it to interview and said 'errrrr...' a great deal and knew the moment I walked out the door that I had no chance. Wasn't the slightest bit bothered when the letter arrived as I really was quite sure by that point, although I was a bit disheartened after the interview.

In any case, i'm reapplying again this year and whilst I didn't originally plan on applying again (which made for a rather rushed statement as per last time, although with the help i've got here its a massive improvement on last years!) I decided to a week or two ago. I feel i'm a much stronger applicant this time around, but once again, I don't think I will be getting in (who does?). I'll know after the interview.

Without being rude, it does annoy me a bit when people put so much emphasis on getting in. If you get rejected from Oxbridge you're bound to end up somewhere else where you'll get a brilliant education regardless. And some uni's are better in some respects. If you always demand the best, you'll never be happy. I've still got my heart set on Bristol, but it'll never happen!

Reply 18

Angelil

Personally I think a rejection from Oxbridge hurts more than rejections from other unis, purely for the reason that if you are invited to interview (which most people who apply are) you get to spend a few nights there properly immersing yourself in college life and meeting college people, rather than just going there for an afternoon for your interview and going home again. You therefore form more of an attachment to the place than you otherwise would, meaning it's a real kick in the nuts if you're rejected.

Reply 19

Zenobia

Pikey

Without being rude, it does annoy me a bit when people put so much emphasis on getting in. If you get rejected from Oxbridge you're bound to end up somewhere else where you'll get a brilliant education regardless. And some uni's are better in some respects. If you always demand the best, you'll never be happy. I've still got my heart set on Bristol, but it'll never happen!

Yes, exactly! In the end it's about learning and enjoying to learn. Whether it's at Oxbridge or at the local library. (Though perhaps the downside on the latter is that it probably won't pay for your food in the end.)

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