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courting advice
Right, I'm a guy who's had mainly one night stand/kissing style interactions with girls. I'm a first year in university, and there's several ladies I'm interested in. One in particular.
So I might want to ask her out. Certainly in fact. But I'm a bit nervous for reasons outlined above. I think she might like me as, apart from appearing interested while sharing conversation, her body language seems mostly open (I saw her copy my chin scratching geusture and generally we shared a similar stance). And I have a few questions.
1.I'm going to keep visiting her every other day, depending on circs of course. Hopefully a few times that'll involve other people so its not like I'm just there to see her (and if there's guys then of course it isn't much of a flirting thing whatsoever). Is this enough personal space, I mean I don't want to make her feel like I come over too often?
2.The act of asking a woman out is one of the most crucial events that happen while knowing her, right? If so I'll be prepared.
3.Its good to offer to pay for the full meal, but fair enough too if she offers to help and you strike up a roughly 60% you/40% her, right?
Basically I feel when I get with her it'll be all right but I'm a tiny bit hesitant at this stage. Which is probably for the best, should let it simmer rather than burn and get ruined. Any further advice?
So I might want to ask her out. Certainly in fact. But I'm a bit nervous for reasons outlined above. I think she might like me as, apart from appearing interested while sharing conversation, her body language seems mostly open (I saw her copy my chin scratching geusture and generally we shared a similar stance). And I have a few questions.
1.I'm going to keep visiting her every other day, depending on circs of course. Hopefully a few times that'll involve other people so its not like I'm just there to see her (and if there's guys then of course it isn't much of a flirting thing whatsoever). Is this enough personal space, I mean I don't want to make her feel like I come over too often?
2.The act of asking a woman out is one of the most crucial events that happen while knowing her, right? If so I'll be prepared.
3.Its good to offer to pay for the full meal, but fair enough too if she offers to help and you strike up a roughly 60% you/40% her, right?
Basically I feel when I get with her it'll be all right but I'm a tiny bit hesitant at this stage. Which is probably for the best, should let it simmer rather than burn and get ruined. Any further advice?
I don't know aboot any of that but start by not using the word "courting" and you have begun!
Well 'twas just a random choice that I made while writing it up but I know pretty well not to be caddish/whatever without being told to.
Ok
Basically I think there is no "formula" get to know a girl, treat her as nicely as comes naturally to you and if she stays with you then you are a good bf
Basically I think there is no "formula" get to know a girl, treat her as nicely as comes naturally to you and if she stays with you then you are a good bf
Relax a bit?
The two questions you seem to be asking, no thats not too much if she wants your company too and the other..perhaps go somewhere thats not stupidly expensive and pay for the whole thing and if she offers to say something like 'well you can just buy me a pint next time' thus pointing out how you like and want to see her again.
Hope that helped lol
The two questions you seem to be asking, no thats not too much if she wants your company too and the other..perhaps go somewhere thats not stupidly expensive and pay for the whole thing and if she offers to say something like 'well you can just buy me a pint next time' thus pointing out how you like and want to see her again.
Hope that helped lol
1.I'm going to keep visiting her every other day, depending on circs of course. Hopefully a few times that'll involve other people so its not like I'm just there to see her (and if there's guys then of course it isn't much of a flirting thing whatsoever). Is this enough personal space, I mean I don't want to make her feel like I come over too often?
2.The act of asking a woman out is one of the most crucial events that happen while knowing her, right? If so I'll be prepared.
3.Its good to offer to pay for the full meal, but fair enough too if she offers to help and you strike up a roughly 60% you/40% her, right?
2.The act of asking a woman out is one of the most crucial events that happen while knowing her, right? If so I'll be prepared.
3.Its good to offer to pay for the full meal, but fair enough too if she offers to help and you strike up a roughly 60% you/40% her, right?
1. No, if she likes you she'll want you to come around. Maybe not every other day exactly, that would be scary. Maybe see her two days in a row and then give it a miss for a couple of days
2. Not really. Don't build it up too much in your head. Just be cool.
3. ARGH! Pay for the full meal. If she offers to help charmingly tell her she can pay next time. Don't get out the calculator to tell her how much she owes you
Anonymous
(I saw her copy my chin scratching geusture and generally we shared a similar stance).
Get in there!!
Tbh, I think you should offer to pay for the meal and do so, she'll naturally say no, but I think she'd be quite surprised if you suddenly accepted her offer. And definitely don't start trying to divide it into different percentages, you'll look like a real tightass.
But, yes, ask her out before you get too involved, as you want to be able to take it in your stride if she does say no. You like a few girls? - well thats a good sign, just move on to the next one if need be!
In any case, good luck.
Re the percentages thing :P
I've got a great calculator for that type of thing and it doesn't involve pulling it out of my pocket, rather its in my head and I could work it out sharpish. But nah, you're right, pay for the whole thing is the way to go.
And regarding the other girls... meh. I like them, yep, but not in the same way. Without wanting to sound sexist in any way, the one I've been talking about in this thread seems the most feasible for "the future"; there's one who quite possibly could be more of a fling and another who's nice too, but I see them around a lot less than I do the first girl... besides she's more appealing. But like you say, keep options open.
I've got a great calculator for that type of thing and it doesn't involve pulling it out of my pocket, rather its in my head and I could work it out sharpish. But nah, you're right, pay for the whole thing is the way to go.
And regarding the other girls... meh. I like them, yep, but not in the same way. Without wanting to sound sexist in any way, the one I've been talking about in this thread seems the most feasible for "the future"; there's one who quite possibly could be more of a fling and another who's nice too, but I see them around a lot less than I do the first girl... besides she's more appealing. But like you say, keep options open.
minimo
I love the word 'courting'. It's like 'making love' - very warm and sweet and fuzzy.
My thoughts exactly.
Anyway, I wouldnt reccomend using the word "courting" unless you were born between the wars. Just go for it, start saying what you want to say without thinking about it. Then you'll find yourself under pressure, and you'll no doubt excel...that sort of approach, I find works rather often
Anonymous
Re the percentages thing :P
I've got a great calculator for that type of thing and it doesn't involve pulling it out of my pocket, rather its in my head and I could work it out sharpish. But nah, you're right, pay for the whole thing is the way to go.
I've got a great calculator for that type of thing and it doesn't involve pulling it out of my pocket, rather its in my head and I could work it out sharpish. But nah, you're right, pay for the whole thing is the way to go.
Only if she's happy with it. If she wants to go halves, then let her. Or just pay for whatever you both ate, if one had significantly more expensive food than the other. While it's nice to appear gentlemanly and pay, there are two important considerations:
1)You are a poor student and are not going to be able to do this on a regular basis.
2)If you push too hard, or split it in a way that still biases towards you, despite her saying she wants to pay, then it will make you look pushy and slightly chauvinistic. Just judge the situation at the time.
Update-
Am letting the situation rest for a few days. Waiting for an opportune, if not quite ideal time to ask her out. Things are going well as far as I can tell.
Am letting the situation rest for a few days. Waiting for an opportune, if not quite ideal time to ask her out. Things are going well as far as I can tell.
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