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offensive jokes watch

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    anybody got any offensive jokes mine are old and need to be replaced

    Jesus walks into a hotel , tosses three nails on the front desk and says" Can you put me up for the night?"
    anybody have any good offensive jokes.. all of mine are old

    Why doesn't jesus eat M&M's?
    they fall through his hands

    Whats the difference between jesus and a painting?
    It only takes one nail to hang a painting

    How do you get a nun pregnant?
    dress her up as an altar boy

    What do you call three people in wheelchairs on top of each other?
    A vegtable rack
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    not politically incorrect but here's one to bring up if some fools dissing you............................. .......................

    Wait for silence, then in most eloquence say..................

    The difference between your Mum and a Ironing board is that an Ironing Board is sometimes hard to open

    Guaranteed to shut the fool up, though be sure to be an expert in self defence, or in my friends case an olympic sprinter

    how do you get 10,000 ethiopions into a telephone booth?
    chuck a can of beans in there

    how do you get them out again?
    run past with a tin opener

    what's the fastest thing in the world?
    an ethiopion with a dinner ticket
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    Here's one............ America is not the land of the free
    Well only americans would find that offensive really
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    A friend of mine regularly supplies me with various jokes that could cause offence mainly to women or black people.

    I will not repeat any on here for risk of someone taking offence and trying to trace me through my I.P. and get the police involved .
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    hmm well i know a few irish jokes

    how do u get a 1 armed irushman out of a tree? wave at him

    what do u do if an irshman throws a grenade at u? take the pin out and throw it back

    what do u do if an irishman throws a pin at u? run cos hes still holdng the grenade

    (Original post by SJ No.18)
    Here's one............ America is not the land of the free
    Well only americans would find that offensive really
    "but if you think you're free, trying walking into new delhi and urinating on something seas..... "
    heard that from somewhere
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    (Original post by Mark_KK)
    A friend of mine regularly supplies me with various jokes that could cause offence mainly to women or black people.

    I will not repeat any on here for risk of someone taking offence and trying to trace me through my I.P. and get the police involved .
    lol that would never happen... not unless you said you were going to harm them or something
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    2 tampons walk past each other on the street but dont even acknowladge each other, why is this?








    They are both stuck up *****








    2 condoms walk past a gay bar, one says to the other....







    "fancy gettin **** faced?"
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    (Original post by DazYa777)
    "but if you think you're free, trying walking into new delhi and urinating on something seas..... "
    heard that from somewhere
    yes very true, their has to be some supression to prevent the weak and dumb turn the country to a state of anarchy.
    Difference though, is that's America's national anthem and what they would constantly tell little kiddies like you and I , if we had the unfortunate pleasure to be growing up in the great U. S of A
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    (Original post by DazYa777)
    "but if you think you're free, trying walking into new delhi and urinating on something seas..... "
    heard that from somewhere

    "America stands for freedom
    but if you think you're free
    try walking into a deli
    and urinating on the cheese"

    is a vandals lyric from "Anarchy Burger"
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    (Original post by MuniE)
    anybody got any offensive jokes mine are old and need to be replaced

    Jesus walks into a hotel , tosses three nails on the front desk and says" Can you put me up for the night?"
    anybody have any good offensive jokes.. all of mine are old

    Why doesn't jesus eat M&M's?
    they fall through his hands

    Whats the difference between jesus and a painting?
    It only takes one nail to hang a painting

    How do you get a nun pregnant?
    dress her up as an altar boy

    What do you call three people in wheelchairs on top of each other?
    A vegtable rack
    A man walks down the beach and meets a beautiful woman sunbathing, but she has no arms or legs. They start talking and she tells him that she has never been screwed in her life and asks if he will do the business. The man looks at the woman, picks her up, throws her in the sea and says: "You're screwed now!".
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    What's Sue short for?






    Because I cut her legs off.

    what is the crulest thing in the world???



    throwing a grenade on a wheelchair and telling him to run
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    how can you tell a woman's been using the computer?
    because theres tippex on the screen

    how can you tell a blonde woman's been using the computer?
    because there's writing on the tippex

    how can you tell a woman's tried to print something?
    the screen is face down on the photocopier

    ermm

    why can't women ski?
    because it never snows in the kitchen

    no offence to anyone.. theyre just jokes
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    whats worse than a male Chauvinist pig?

    a woman that wont do as shes told :mad:
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    (Original post by piginapoke)
    Disclaimer: sent to my phone, not mine:

    Great Britain have won Gold at the Olympics in white water rafting.
    Two lads from Cornwall won, in a transit van.
    I don't get that
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    (Original post by piginapoke)
    Mr Current Affairs here, Cornwall, floods, ring any bells?
    Ahhhhhhh!

    Very good!
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    Q: Why do women have small feet...
    A: ..so they can fit under the kitchen sink.

    ALERT! THIS ONE IS VERY INSULTING ...
    Q: You wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating accross the room...what do you do?
    A: Turn on the light and shoot the ******.

    (Original post by -mb-)
    Q: Why do women have small feet...
    A: ..so they can fit under the kitchen sink.

    ALERT! THIS ONE IS VERY INSULTING ...
    Q: You wake up in the middle of the night and see your TV floating accross the room...what do you do?
    A: Turn on the light and shoot the ******.
    no.... it's

    what do you do if you see your tv floating down the street at night

    you say, DROP IT *****
 
 
 
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