Not sure what to do.. think i've been cheated on Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
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Never had i thought I'd make one of these threads and get advice but a little desperate at the moment.

I have been together with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years. We had spoken about getting married for a very long time and have known this is what we would like eventually. But from her side, its always been something that she is unsure about.

Our families have met and everything. A couple of months ago we decided about getting properly engaged in July and then married in a years time. To the extent that she had bought her dress etc and I knew exactly which ring she wants.

But a month ago, I think she got cold feet. She said she needed more time to decide and she feels she needs to be away from me to do that. So I agreed.

Recently she's come back to me saying that she is still unsure what she wants. A few days after we had stopped talking she and someone at work kissed. I don't know the details about this but in the past she went out with him alone where he did try it on with her. She feels awful that it happened but she doesn't think its cheating because technically we were on a break. But I still feel like I've been cheated on and I don't think I want to take her back although of course, I am still very much attached.

It's kinda like my head is telling me to leave her but my heart won't let me.

Not sure what to do. What would you do?
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claireestelle
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Never had i thought I'd make one of these threads and get advice but a little desperate at the moment.

I have been together with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years. We had spoken about getting married for a very long time and have known this is what we would like eventually. But from her side, its always been something that she is unsure about.

Our families have met and everything. A couple of months ago we decided about getting properly engaged in July and then married in a years time. To the extent that she had bought her dress etc and I knew exactly which ring she wants.

But a month ago, I think she got cold feet. She said she needed more time to decide and she feels she needs to be away from me to do that. So I agreed.

Recently she's come back to me saying that she is still unsure what she wants. A few days after we had stopped talking she and someone at work kissed. I don't know the details about this but in the past she went out with him alone where he did try it on with her. She feels awful that it happened but she doesn't think its cheating because technically we were on a break. But I still feel like I've been cheated on and I don't think I want to take her back although of course, I am still very much attached.

It's kinda like my head is telling me to leave her but my heart won't let me.

Not sure what to do. What would you do?
If she's not sure after 4 years and is kissing other people, i think you need to break things off for your own sanity. She does not sound anywhere near ready to marry anybody, i m sorry
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That'sGreat
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If it wa some, I'd leave her. She doesn't seem as involved as you, and if she's kissed this guy, she obviously doesn't value you as much as a potential wife should. How old are you?
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username1842595
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Leave. Been there done that
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Anonymous #1
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I'm 24
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Never had i thought I'd make one of these threads and get advice but a little desperate at the moment.

I have been together with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years. We had spoken about getting married for a very long time and have known this is what we would like eventually. But from her side, its always been something that she is unsure about.

Our families have met and everything. A couple of months ago we decided about getting properly engaged in July and then married in a years time. To the extent that she had bought her dress etc and I knew exactly which ring she wants.

But a month ago, I think she got cold feet. She said she needed more time to decide and she feels she needs to be away from me to do that. So I agreed.

Recently she's come back to me saying that she is still unsure what she wants. A few days after we had stopped talking she and someone at work kissed. I don't know the details about this but in the past she went out with him alone where he did try it on with her. She feels awful that it happened but she doesn't think its cheating because technically we were on a break. But I still feel like I've been cheated on and I don't think I want to take her back although of course, I am still very much attached.

It's kinda like my head is telling me to leave her but my heart won't let me.

Not sure what to do. What would you do?

All she did was kiss him? I dont think thats much. Are you claiming more?

In any event I dont think she wants to marry you and it seems to have been that way for a long time. It would be a bad idea for both of you imo.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by That'sGreat)
If it wa some, I'd leave her. She doesn't seem as involved as you, and if she's kissed this guy, she obviously doesn't value you as much as a potential wife should. How old are you?
I'm 24
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999tigger
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(Original post by claireestelle)
If she's not sure after 4 years and is kissing other people, i think you need to break things off for your own sanity. She does not sound anywhere near ready to marry anybody, i m sorry
Quite bonkers someone would sleepwalk into marriage on the evidence, even without the kiss.
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Jirga
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"she doesn't think its cheating because technically we were on a break." lmao **** her
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
All she did was kiss him? I dont think thats much. Are you claiming more?

In any event I dont think she wants to marry you and it seems to have been that way for a long time. It would be a bad idea for both of you imo.
Nope, she kissed him. Wasn't anything else.
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Gerry-Atricks
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Is she Ross?
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Aerospengie
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Get out of there
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Nope, she kissed him. Wasn't anything else.
She doesnt sound like she loves you, but feels as though she is sleepwalking into marriage. Let her go.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Quite bonkers someone would sleepwalk into marriage on the evidence, even without the kiss.
It isnt right of someone to get married if they have any doubts, and she certainly seems to have them
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999tigger
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(Original post by claireestelle)
It isnt right of someone to get married if they have any doubts, and she certainly seems to have them
She knows it, just wonder whether the OP will realise it. The event could be the best thing thats happened.
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TheMcSame
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I mean, what sort of kiss? Are we talking a quick peck or a full on passionate kiss? If it was just a quick peck I'd think nothing of it, unless it was on the lips, then I'd have some questions.

What seems a bit odd that they she always seems unsure about getting married despite clearly showing some sort of interest. That's something that makes me double take. Speak to her about it. Maybe she's just worried about it because it's a big step in life, and weddings are usually pretty costly. If not that, she's either not interested in you, or she might be hiding something else.
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claireestelle
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(Original post by 999tigger)
She knows it, just wonder whether the OP will realise it. The event could be the best thing thats happened.
I've seen way too many posts like this on wedding forums, and unfortunately people dont seem to learn but hopefully OP you can find someone who is better for you
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by TheMcSame)
I mean, what sort of kiss? Are we talking a quick peck or a full on passionate kiss? If it was just a quick peck I'd think nothing of it, unless it was on the lips, then I'd have some questions.

What seems a bit odd that they she always seems unsure about getting married despite clearly showing some sort of interest. That's something that makes me double take. Speak to her about it. Maybe she's just worried about it because it's a big step in life, and weddings are usually pretty costly. If not that, she's either not interested in you, or she might be hiding something else.
I haven't asked her details because I don't really want to know too much about it. Even what I did ask some details she said it upset her. But it was on the lips and this person did try it on with her before and she said no (I think she brought it on herself because she agreed to go for a meal with him - we were together then). This time she said she kissed him because she felt we were on a break and not together.

She has shown interest. She's been very bi-polar about it. Sometimes she is very excited about getting married but at other times its the complete opposite to the extent it makes it seem like i'm forcing her to get married when I've been waiting for her to decide for a very long time. I am quite fed up of her being undecisive because it really affects my life plans
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Ladymusiclover
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OP I don't think she's the girl for you.
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That'sGreat
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 24
You're 24? Dump her then, you don't want to spend your whole life with someone like that. You may think a kiss is nothing right now, but the likelihood is - is that she's cheating, and you won't be able to get that out of your head. You'll end up getting divorced most likely, and you'll be much older, making it harder to find someone you ACTUALLY love. Dump her and find someone who wants to be with you, and isn't just saying yes to a marriage to keep you happy
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