The Student Room Group

Opinions on personal statement

Ne opinions on my personal statement - we get told to divide it into 3 equal sections: why we applied to the course, stuff about our A levels and extra curricular stuff. Its about 50 words too long tho.

My reasons for choosing to apply to do Law are unequivocal: I find the origins, complexities and applications of the law to be fascinating whilst higher study of such a discipline seems logical in helping to fulfill my career aspiration of practicing as a Solicitor or Barrister. Thus on the basis of this I decided to complete 5 days of work experience with a local Solicitor’s firm. I found this experience to be infinitely useful. I relished the opportunity to learn about basic legal principles; witness the civil proceedings of the County Court and give a positive judgement over the prospect of a legal career while shunning popular misperceptions. To supplement this experience, I have enjoyed reading a book called Learning the law by Glanville Williams whilst on several occasions I have independently visited hearings at the local Magistrates Court.

Since joining my current school in year 12, I have enjoyed my diverse range of studies immensely. Most notably I have had deep interests in Economics and History. The former I value for it’s the analytical nature combined with the subject’s relevance to everyday matters. For example, I enjoy weighing up the economic arguments for and against membership of the Euro and the European Union. As a result, I often avidly read the Economist and the Times newspaper. The latter subject, History, has always been of intellectual curiosity due to my fascination of the past and my willingness to judge the events of the past on the basis of facts. Thus, I ardently read around various areas of History with the History of Britain Series by Simon Schama and the Green Flag, a History of Irish Nationalism by Robert Kee being among my favorite books. I also regulary enjoy reading BBC History magazine. In both cases, my acheivement of A grades in my A/S level exams last Summer help reflect my enthusiasm for these subjects.

Outside of school, I am predominantly interested in Cycling. As a competitive hobby, I have participated in numerous races both in National and International respects, competing for Great Britain in the latter category. Although I can no longer compete in this discipline due to financial difficulties, I do, nonetheless, retain my interests in cycling on the basis of pleasure and maintaining my fitness. Besides this, I enjoy taking part in most sports including hockey, football and cricket. Musically, I have played the violin to a grade 3 level whilst more recently I have taken up the guitar for which, on occasion, I play in a rock band. Other extra- curricular activities that I am involved in include the rewarding experience of volunteering for a Deaf charity called Sign. Suck work involves a range of activities from completing administrative tasks to helping others fundraising research, ideas and activities. My willingness to work in a team can be further demonstrated by my achievement of the Silver Duke of Edinburgh award.
Reply 1
Jamie
Ne opinions on my personal statement - we get told to divide it into 3 equal sections: why we applied to the course, stuff about our A levels and extra curricular stuff. Its about 50 words too long tho.

My reasons for choosing to apply to do Law are unequivocal: I find the origins, complexities and applications of the law to be fascinating whilst higher study of such a discipline seems logical in helping to fulfill my career aspiration of practicing as a Solicitor or Barrister. Thus on the basis of this I decided to complete 5 days of work experience with a local Solicitor’s firm. I found this experience to be infinitely useful. I relished the opportunity to learn about basic legal principles; witness the civil proceedings of the County Court and give a positive judgement over the prospect of a legal career while shunning popular misperceptions. To supplement this experience, I have enjoyed reading a book called Learning the law by Glanville Williams whilst on several occasions I have independently visited hearings at the local Magistrates Court.

Since joining my current school in year 12, I have enjoyed my diverse range of studies immensely. Most notably I have had deep interests in Economics and History. The former I value for it’s the analytical nature combined with the subject’s relevance to everyday matters. For example, I enjoy weighing up the economic arguments for and against membership of the Euro and the European Union. As a result, I often avidly read the Economist and the Times newspaper. The latter subject, History, has always been of intellectual curiosity due to my fascination of the past and my willingness to judge the events of the past on the basis of facts. Thus, I ardently read around various areas of History with the History of Britain Series by Simon Schama and the Green Flag, a History of Irish Nationalism by Robert Kee being among my favorite books. I also regulary enjoy reading BBC History magazine. In both cases, my acheivement of A grades in my A/S level exams last Summer help reflect my enthusiasm for these subjects.

Outside of school, I am predominantly interested in Cycling. As a competitive hobby, I have participated in numerous races both in National and International respects, competing for Great Britain in the latter category. Although I can no longer compete in this discipline due to financial difficulties, I do, nonetheless, retain my interests in cycling on the basis of pleasure and maintaining my fitness. Besides this, I enjoy taking part in most sports including hockey, football and cricket. Musically, I have played the violin to a grade 3 level whilst more recently I have taken up the guitar for which, on occasion, I play in a rock band. Other extra- curricular activities that I am involved in include the rewarding experience of volunteering for a Deaf charity called Sign. Suck work involves a range of activities from completing administrative tasks to helping others fundraising research, ideas and activities. My willingness to work in a team can be further demonstrated by my achievement of the Silver Duke of Edinburgh award.


I reckon there not enuff on y I wanna do the subject
Reply 2
There's a grammar error or two, notably usage of "it's" when "its" should be used.
Reply 3
Unregistered
There's a grammar error or two, notably usage of "it's" when "its" should be used.

Minor stuff though - can be fixed
Reply 4
Blamps
Minor stuff though - can be fixed

I am the guy who wrote the statement - opps with the grammar - silly me
Reply 5
not being funny but whats with all these fancy words..is that how u talk in everyday language..or is it the thesaurus..
Reply 6
poweraz
not being funny but whats with all these fancy words..is that how u talk in everyday language..or is it the thesaurus..


actually lookin back at your ps, its probably not all that fancy...just slightly more advancedly written compared to mine..
Reply 7
poweraz
not being funny but whats with all these fancy words..is that how u talk in everyday language..or is it the thesaurus..

Thats hows I write- wat do u expect me to write in a dialect-
'alright mate, I wanna do this course cos it's wicked innit etc etc.' if u cant understand some of the words I have used, ur vocab is a bit lacking cos, for me, they are basic words.
Btw, this was a quick first draft jsut done an hour ago.
Reply 8
That's a very good statement but it's a bit long-winded. You're wasting all that space by adding things that don't need to be said:

My reasons for choosing to apply to do Law are unequivocal: I find the origins, complexities and applications of the law to be fascinating whilst higher study of such a discipline seems logical in helping to fulfill my career aspiration of practicing as a solicitor or barrister. Thus on the basis of this I decided to complete 5 days of work experience with a local solicitor’s firm. I found this experience to be infinitely useful. I relished the opportunity to learn about basic legal principles; witness the civil proceedings of the County Court and give a positive judgement over the prospect of a legal career while shunning popular misperceptions. To supplement this experience, I have enjoyed reading a book called Learning the Law by Glanville Williams whilst on several occasions I have independently visited hearings at the local magistrates court.

Since joining my current school in year 12, I have enjoyed my diverse range of studies immensely. Most notably I have had deep interests in Economics and History. The former I value for it’s the analytical nature combined with the subject’s relevance to everyday matters. For example, I enjoy weighing up the economic arguments for and against membership of the Euro and the European Union. As a result, I often avidly read the Economist and the Times newspaper. The latter subject, History, has always been of intellectual curiosity due to my fascination of the past and my willingness to judge the events of the past on the basis of facts. Thus, I ardently read around various areas of History with the History of Britain Series by Simon Schama and the Green Flag, a History of Irish Nationalism by Robert Kee being among my favoUrite books. I also regulary enjoy reading the BBC History magazine. In both cases, my acheivement of A grades in my A/S level exams last Summer help reflect my enthusiasm for these subjects. (they'll groan at that)

Outside of school, I am predominantly interested in cycling. As a competitive hobby, I have participated in numerous races both in national and international respects, competing for Great Britain in the latter category. Although I can no longer compete in this discipline due to financial difficulties, I do, nonetheless, retain my interests in cycling on the basis of pleasure and maintaining my fitness. Besides this, I enjoy taking part in most sports including hockey, football and cricket. Musically, I have played the violin to a grade 3 level whilst more recently I have taken up the guitar for which, on occasion, I play in a rock band. Other extra-curricular activities that I am involved in include the rewarding experience of volunteering for a deaf charity called Sign. Suck work involves a range of activities from completing administrative tasks to helping others fundraising research, ideas and activities. My willingness to work in a team can be further demonstrated by my achievement of the Silver Duke of Edinburgh award.
Reply 9
Pencil
That's a very good statement but it's a bit long-winded. You're wasting all that space by adding things that don't need to be said:

My reasons for choosing to apply to do Law are unequivocal: I find the origins, complexities and applications of the law to be fascinating whilst higher study of such a discipline seems logical in helping to fulfill my career aspiration of practicing as a Solicitor or Barrister. Thus on the basis of this I decided to complete 5 days of work experience with a local Solicitor’s firm. I found this experience to be infinitely useful. I relished the opportunity to learn about basic legal principles; witness the civil proceedings of the County Court and give a positive judgement over the prospect of a legal career while shunning popular misperceptions. To supplement this experience, I have enjoyed reading a book called Learning the law by Glanville Williams whilst on several occasions I have independently visited hearings at the local Magistrates Court.

Since joining my current school in year 12, I have enjoyed my diverse range of studies immensely. Most notably I have had deep interests in Economics and History. The former I value for it’s the analytical nature combined with the subject’s relevance to everyday matters. For example, I enjoy weighing up the economic arguments for and against membership of the Euro and the European Union. As a result, I often avidly read the Economist and the Times newspaper. The latter subject, History, has always been of intellectual curiosity due to my fascination of the past and my willingness to judge the events of the past on the basis of facts. Thus, I ardently read around various areas of History with the History of Britain Series by Simon Schama and the Green Flag, a History of Irish Nationalism by Robert Kee being among my favorite books. I also regulary enjoy reading BBC History magazine. In both cases, my acheivement of A grades in my A/S level exams last Summer help reflect my enthusiasm for these subjects. (they'll groan at that)

Outside of school, I am predominantly interested in Cycling. As a competitive hobby, I have participated in numerous races both in National and International respects, competing for Great Britain in the latter category. Although I can no longer compete in this discipline due to financial difficulties, I do, nonetheless, retain my interests in cycling on the basis of pleasure and maintaining my fitness. Besides this, I enjoy taking part in most sports including hockey, football and cricket. Musically, I have played the violin to a grade 3 level whilst more recently I have taken up the guitar for which, on occasion, I play in a rock band. Other extra- curricular activities that I am involved in include the rewarding experience of volunteering for a Deaf charity called Sign. Suck work involves a range of activities from completing administrative tasks to helping others fundraising research, ideas and activities. My willingness to work in a team can be further demonstrated by my achievement of the Silver Duke of Edinburgh award.


thanks for cutting out the words! - thats my problem - i tend to waffle. Do u think I could possibilly say more about why I wanna do the subject - I really do wanna do it, its just hard to explain why!
Reply 10
Thus and on the basis of this basically are implying the same thing, so I suggest that if you write thus, you only include one of them.
Reply 11
Like Pencil said some parts are a little long winded and could easily be cut out
Don’t repeat you AS grades they know this already from the rest of your statement.
It’s not always a good idea to reel of a list of sports without explanation
There is no strong conclusion to your statement
Have you read all those books? You may get asked about some in an interview
Someone mentioned using fancy words, that’s fine if you really do explain yourself like that
There are a lot of I’s but this really can’t be helped
You might want to explain a bit more about what parts of law you are particularly interested in

Most of these points are pretty minor on the whole I think it’s a good statement, good luck with it,

Tom
Reply 12
Pencil
That's a very good statement but it's a bit long-winded. You're wasting all that space by adding things that don't need to be said:

My reasons for choosing to apply to do Law are unequivocal: I find the origins, complexities and applications of the law to be fascinating whilst higher study of such a discipline seems logical in helping to fulfill my career aspiration of practicing as a solicitor or barrister. Thus on the basis of this I decided to complete 5 days of work experience with a local solicitor’s firm. I found this experience to be infinitely useful. I relished the opportunity to learn about basic legal principles; witness the civil proceedings of the County Court and give a positive judgement over the prospect of a legal career while shunning popular misperceptions. To supplement this experience, I have enjoyed reading a book called Learning the Law by Glanville Williams whilst on several occasions I have independently visited hearings at the local magistrates court.

Since joining my current school in year 12, I have enjoyed my diverse range of studies immensely. Most notably I have had deep interests in Economics and History. The former I value for it’s the analytical nature combined with the subject’s relevance to everyday matters. For example, I enjoy weighing up the economic arguments for and against membership of the Euro and the European Union. As a result, I often avidly read the Economist and the Times newspaper. The latter subject, History, has always been of intellectual curiosity due to my fascination of the past and my willingness to judge the events of the past on the basis of facts. Thus, I ardently read around various areas of History with the History of Britain Series by Simon Schama and the Green Flag, a History of Irish Nationalism by Robert Kee being among my favoUrite books. I also regulary enjoy reading the BBC History magazine. In both cases, my acheivement of A grades in my A/S level exams last Summer help reflect my enthusiasm for these subjects. (they'll groan at that)

Outside of school, I am predominantly interested in cycling. As a competitive hobby, I have participated in numerous races both in national and international respects, competing for Great Britain in the latter category. Although I can no longer compete in this discipline due to financial difficulties, I do, nonetheless, retain my interests in cycling on the basis of pleasure and maintaining my fitness. Besides this, I enjoy taking part in most sports including hockey, football and cricket. Musically, I have played the violin to a grade 3 level whilst more recently I have taken up the guitar for which, on occasion, I play in a rock band. Other extra-curricular activities that I am involved in include the rewarding experience of volunteering for a deaf charity called Sign. Suck work involves a range of activities from completing administrative tasks to helping others fundraising research, ideas and activities. My willingness to work in a team can be further demonstrated by my achievement of the Silver Duke of Edinburgh award.


In the Times university guide, it says there is enough room for 600 words in the personal statement, but the author of this post has only written 483.
Reply 13
Lord Huntroyde
In the Times university guide, it says there is enough room for 600 words in the personal statement, but the author of this post has only written 483.


You don't have to fill up the statement if you don't want to. But to some extent it will depend on the size of the words :smile:. I seem to remember being told that we had around 400 words when I wrote mine.
Reply 14
ne way, cheers guys for the positive criticism
Reply 15
I have to agree with the some of the previous comments. Dont try and be pompous and use big words. I dont mean talk in slang, just be slightly more casual, after all the selector has probably read a few thousand application. Also things like "infinitely useful" doesnt really make any sense. Instead say something along the lines of the experience opening up a side of the profession you didnt know existed...or something like that.
Anyway I hope thats fair
Reply 16
Opinion;

Adequate use of a Thesaurus.
Reply 17
Just stick a picture of yourself on the statement looking sensible and holding a pen. They do say that a picture says a thousand words. :wink:
Reply 18
Unregistered
Opinion;

Adequate use of a Thesaurus.


eh, no - basic vocab m8

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