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Feeling hopeless.

I just feel like giving up and quitting, I've been trying to get my head to focus and work but nothing seems to be happening, I'm just tired of studying so much and memorizing so much crap that may or may not help me in real life (looking at you Vectors, I'm not planning to be an engineer anyways). It's gotten so bad that I just throw my pen and break down crying because I just can't seem to do it anymore, this thing has never happened to me before in AS-level and IGCSE but my worst fears are manipulating in front of me, the fear of failure, not being good enough, screwing up this only one opportunity I have because I'm not allowed to redo my exams, I wish someone could tell me that the load is going to get lighter or that things would become better or that you did good enough, take a break now but life as we know it is not that forgiving, the way I see it, you just struggle and die. I'm losing faith in myself, God and everybody, I just stopped praying completely when I used to be so consistent in my prayers, I just don't know what's happening, everything is falling apart and the more/harder I try the more I screw up.
Reply 1
Avatar for dogears
dogears
11
You need to take a break and start again with a lighter work load once you've sorted your head out. And find a work buddy
Take one day. Just one day to pick. A free time for yourself. Don't study or think about school. Take two days maybe. Just relax and do something nice for yourself. Obviously you are overloaded. Its smarter to take a break. Just do not worry about it all.
Reply 3
Avatar for Dusk Hazard
Dusk Hazard
OP
1
I wish I could take a break but believe me or not whenever I take a break my mind goes like 'you're wasting too much time, you could use the precious time to study, what's the matter with you etc etc' and the moment I sit down and study or giving into these thoughts my mind shuts down on studying and all motivation fades away, and my examination is almost close to begin (starts on 22nd May, it's A-level psychology which is so much stuff to memorize and write, our own teachers tell that you have no choice but to memorize, once you go into university, then you will start learning things). And dogears, I kinda got upset when you said 'work buddy' like, you wanted me to get a job while in school then giggled and realized my error, so yeah.

Maybe my problem is I'm not prioritizing? And it's difficult for me not to worry when these few months will decide the next 5 or 10 years of my life and the CONSTANT ****ING PRESSURE from my family to be and to get perfect grades when I somewhat messed up in AS-level is eating my brain alive, I literally feel as if it's rotting from inside due to the constant headaches I'm getting, it's like being on a hydraulic press. Maybe I'm just making excuses but that's my current situation unfortunately.

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