Friend is cutting herself :(

any advoce? a good friend keeps saying she's cutting herself 'just a little bit' when angry or upset. I mean.. I guess its not a huge deal but I have a real problem with it. it doesnt seem a healthy way to handle things, and what if it's a slippery slope? what if it gets more and more severe till she severs an artery or something.. sounds a bit dramatic I guess, but I have a real issue with it. am I over reacting? surely it's not... ''normal''?

Reply 1

Esure

lol no it's not normal to cut yourself. I'd get her to one side and seriously tell you to stop it. If not is there any way you can Anonymously tell her parents? Might be another thing to consider/

Reply 2

yellow96

15

Esure

If not is there any way you can Anonymously tell her parents? Might be another thing to consider/

****ing Hell, don't do that.

Reply 3

Crazster

16

Could be attention grabbing.

Reply 4

username47781

20

Well it could be attention grabbing, however it could be something more serious, she could geniunely have serious problems in her life and could be depressed.

Reply 5

Sugar Plum Fairy

I guess you can just try and be there for your friend and offer support whenever they need it. The best thing you can do if you are genuinely worried about your friend's wellbeing would be to encourage, but not force, him/her to seek professional help.

Reply 6

fleur de lis

15

I'd really try and encourage her to seek some help. It doesn't matter whether it's just a little bit or a lot, it's still cutting and it's still a sign of some problems or stuff going on with her that she's obviously not handling very well. Try and see if you can get her to go and see her GP or a counsellor, but don't force the issue... you can't make her get help, she has to want it for herself. Try and be there for her too, but don't judge, and make sure you are supported yourself. It can be tough supporting a friend.

Reply 7

SilverWings

14

Even if it is attention seeking, anyone doing any form of deliberate harm to themselves is a problem. If she is under 16 you can tell a teacher at school in total confidence and they are then obliged to tell her parents. That's the easiest way to get her some help. If she is over 16 you need to encourage her to tell her GP, no one will find out and she can get help for her problems that way. Don't let it all rest on your shoulders, you'll feel guilty if it gets serious and it's tough to keep something like this to yourself. She may hate you for telling someone [if she ever finds out it was you] but once she is getting the help she obviously needs she will appriciate it, and you, a whole lot more.

Reply 8

fleur de lis

15

Definitely, it's a big weight to carry on your shoulders and to be expected to keep a secret, and in truth, it's probably beyond your capacity to give her the help she needs. You can be there for her and support her, but she needs professional help too :smile:

Reply 9

herbal bug

12

I agree with Fleur said. however you cannot force someone to seek help. if you push her, she may push herself further from you. remember to be there for her as i'm sure you will be and stay a constant friend. you will do alot by doing this alone

Reply 10

SilverWings

14

herbal bug

I agree with Fleur said. however you cannot force someone to seek help. if you push her, she may push herself further from you. remember to be there for her as i'm sure you will be and stay a constant friend. you will do alot by doing this alone

I have to disagree, if you push her and she pushes you away and doesn't even seem to want help then you still go for it, you still tell whoever you need to in order for her to get some form of support. Someone doing harm to themselves isn't a secret to be kept, under any circumstance.

Reply 11

herbal bug

12

indeed. i agree with this. i just do not believe in the whole "dragging along" process. if she rejects this help it may be more problematic in the long term but yes, never kept a secret.

Reply 12

fleur de lis

15

No it's not, but at the same time, you can't force help on people. They have to want it and be receptive. If someone doesn't want to be helped, you can throw all the counselling and support etc in the world at them and it's not going to make a huge amount of difference, I don't think. That doesn't mean you shouldn't still tell someone though.

Reply 13

HereFishyFishy

13

What the hell!? Attention-grabbing? Perhaps she wants attention, yeah, but the average person does not purposefully draw blood!

Reply 14

fleur de lis

15

And if they are, they still need help because that's pretty ****ed up.

Reply 15

Reue

20

Laces

What the hell!? Attention-grabbing? Perhaps she wants attention, yeah, but the average person does not purposefully draw blood!

You have no idea. Quite alot of it is just attenton grabbing (As said by the people themselves a bit afterwards).

Reply 16

fleur de lis

15

Reue

You have no idea. Quite alot of it is just attenton grabbing (As said by the people themselves a bit afterwards).

It does go on, yeah. There were quite a few kids in my school who would cut/scratch themselves with compasses and stuff and show off the cuts on their arms for attention. But the OP should be able to judge whether their friend is genuine or attention seeking.