Called fat in a bar...

Yep, the title says it all really... :rolleyes:

Last night I was out in a club and this rugby-type guy really hurt my feelings.
We were standing at the bar waiting for drinks and this bloke was trying to get his mate to talk to me. (probably drunken laddish stuff)
However, his mate turned round and said back to him "no chance, she's way too fat!"
Now this has really shocked me and made me feel very upset. I'm a size 12, 5ft 7 and in proportion. So what the hell?! I know, rationally speaking, that I am not fat but how could somebody be so shallow/insulting??

Thing is, I used to have (and still struggle with from time-to-time) an eating disorder and this has brought it all back up. I'm actually quite a confident person but this has made me feel really bad about things. I'm sensitive about food stuff and I have been tempted to go back to my old ways today... Needless to say I want to snap out of it and stop moping, but I really bad about it. Any advice/comments welcome.

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Reply 1

Segat1

I advise you to ignore idiots. He is no doubt lacking in the trouser department and/or has an inflated idea of himself.

Reply 2

*Joanna*

You certainly don't sound fat, but some guys just prefer thinner women. I have a mate who likes his dates to be uber-slim, tall size 6-8 type. But then I know other guys who much prefer girls with a bit more meat on them. However, he was really rude! Probably just the drink talking, so try not to let it get to you. I'd kill to be as tall as you!

Edit, I should possibly have said, this mate is slim built himself, so maybe that's why he prefers thin girls.

Reply 3

goali2

Yeh I am sure it was the drink talking don't worry about just don't care what people say.

Reply 4

Seanisonfire

Maybe he was trying to say something to make his friend laugh?

I wouldnt take it too seriously.

Reply 5

perdedora

I'm sorry that you had to deal with that...
I'd say just ignore it, like everyone else has said, there are various stupid reasons for him to say it, and most of them deal with him and not you...

Reply 6

qubog

hey we've all been insulted in bars. why just the other night a heard a man say to his friend (about me) "that thing has big tits". charming. its not good for the self esteem but all you can do is forget it and just be glad you aren't as shallow and rude as they are.

Reply 7

WarmSound

All the rugby guys I know try to be as offensive and macho as possible, see women as objects to be used and only feel like they fit in properly if they act in that way. There are undoubtedly some nice ones too but I haven't met them.

It's hard to just brush off a comment like that but remember that you're a healthy size and you've come a long way since having an eating disorder, don't let a shallow idiot like that ruin all of your progress.

Reply 8

PirateGirl

omg pretty much the same thing happened to me in a bar the other week, one guy said to his friend 'hey, she isn't bad' then his friend said 'who, the fat one?' to which he replied 'well...she isn't THAT fat'

and i'm 5ft 7 size 10/12. At the time it really hurt my feelings and made me feel bad about myself but then you just have to realise that some people are shallow idiots who have impossibly high standards.
You definately aren't fat, so don't let one man's stupid comment dent your confidence :hugs:

Reply 9

qubog

*looks at laurens pic*

neither of the girls in that pic are even slightly fat!

Reply 10

hermaphrodite

Anonymous

Yep, the title says it all really... :rolleyes:

Well are you "fat"? I use inverted commas cos one person's definition of fat might not be another person's definition of fat.

I appreciate honesty, rather than people saying one thing to my face and another thing behind my back.

Reply 11

PirateGirl

Which goes to show that some men consider anything above a size 8 'fat'. It's a good job all men aren't like that! :smile:

Reply 12

jumpinglunch

You should of poured a drink over his head,and said "Drinks on me".

Reply 13

73337

He sounds like a right cock. Chin up and move on, from your proportions you are certainly not fat.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

are you girls sure that they were actually talking about you?

i was called fat to my face in a club - i had called him ugly first, mwahaaa. i then went a tad crazy and kicked him in the balls.

Reply 15

qubog

I'm sure. I do have a large chest which men feel the need to point out to me on occasion. I like to reply "oh really, I hadn't noticed". No need for the "thing" comment though. Makes me feel like some kind of hideous creature thats been locked in an attic for years. I should just start calling myself Bertha

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Yep, definitely talking about me. All the other people around at the time were guys.

No, I don't think I am "fat" really...I have a big bust and curvy hips/bum...but a small waist. Proportionally-speaking I'm fine, I think, but I'm not petit like some girls.

I know I'm not fat and that he's a shallow idiot, but the psychological effects today are really horrible. :frown:

I just cannot believe he talked so loudly about it. He was drunk, but what a dick...

Reply 17

Nalced

Men can be such b****ds.
Its so wrong half the time and the other half is just isn't right.
Men seem to come in two extremes in my so far experience of life.
They either seem to be the bad boy, into heavy drinking smoking and lots of mindless sex. Then they come as the quiet good boys, polite. Not into the whole nightclub heavy drinking and so on. It seems to feel like that,
and that guy who called you fat, he's the first type. Mindless sex b*****d.

Reply 18

yellow96

laurenftw

omg pretty much the same thing happened to me in a bar the other week, one guy said to his friend 'hey, she isn't bad' then his friend said 'who, the fat one?' to which he replied 'well...she isn't THAT fat'

and i'm 5ft 7 size 10/12. At the time it really hurt my feelings and made me feel bad about myself but then you just have to realise that some people are shallow idiots who have impossibly high standards.
You definitely aren't fat, so don't let one man's stupid comment dent your confidence :hugs:

If you're fat (given our identical measurements and your picture) then I'm totally screwed.