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Happy being single?
To all you girls (and guys) who are genuinely happy with your single life... I want to know how it's done!
I know it's definitely possible to be completely happy and content when you're single, but I seem to have forgotten how to do it. I came out of a 2.5 year relationship at the beginning of August, and I'd gone straight into that relationship from a 3 year one, which basically means that I'm now 22 and haven't actually been single since I was 16. In that time span, my parents split up, I've moved away from home and grown up a lot, and I've always, always, always had really wonderful and supportive boyfriends to fall back on. Without that, I feel completely and utterly lost.
I really am trying to get my life back on track. In the couple of months since my relationship ended, I've surrounded myself with my friends and been going out with them loads - but to be completely honest, I still feel like I'm just going through the motions. I don't get the same sense of excitement about a Friday night out as I did about a Friday night with my ex after not seeing each other all week. I'm doing all the textbook things to move on (throwing myself into my work and friendships) but it all feels so empty and one-dimensional. It helps, sure, but it doesn't stop me missing my ex or just wishing so much that I could have back what I had before.
I know it takes time, but it's been a couple of months and it's not getting better yet. To inspire me, I was hoping people could tell me why they're happy to be single, and all the amazing things that it allows you to do?
And also, when you've been in a relationship for such a long time... how do you rediscover who 'you' are again? I shared so much with my ex that I feel like I'm half a person without him. How do I get that other half of me back? How do I start getting as excited about planning my own future as I used to be about planning a future with him?
Any thoughts are very welcome. I'm doing my best, but I still feel very lost at the moment.
I know it's definitely possible to be completely happy and content when you're single, but I seem to have forgotten how to do it. I came out of a 2.5 year relationship at the beginning of August, and I'd gone straight into that relationship from a 3 year one, which basically means that I'm now 22 and haven't actually been single since I was 16. In that time span, my parents split up, I've moved away from home and grown up a lot, and I've always, always, always had really wonderful and supportive boyfriends to fall back on. Without that, I feel completely and utterly lost.
I really am trying to get my life back on track. In the couple of months since my relationship ended, I've surrounded myself with my friends and been going out with them loads - but to be completely honest, I still feel like I'm just going through the motions. I don't get the same sense of excitement about a Friday night out as I did about a Friday night with my ex after not seeing each other all week. I'm doing all the textbook things to move on (throwing myself into my work and friendships) but it all feels so empty and one-dimensional. It helps, sure, but it doesn't stop me missing my ex or just wishing so much that I could have back what I had before.
I know it takes time, but it's been a couple of months and it's not getting better yet. To inspire me, I was hoping people could tell me why they're happy to be single, and all the amazing things that it allows you to do?
And also, when you've been in a relationship for such a long time... how do you rediscover who 'you' are again? I shared so much with my ex that I feel like I'm half a person without him. How do I get that other half of me back? How do I start getting as excited about planning my own future as I used to be about planning a future with him?
Any thoughts are very welcome. I'm doing my best, but I still feel very lost at the moment.
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I'm completely happy being single; but then, to be fair I've not known much else.
I've only been in 2 relationships in the past. One when I was 16, lasting a week (found out he had 3 other girls on the go), and one when I was 17 lasting a month (he cheated on me at this point). I'm now 20.
Before university, I used to go through phases of desperation; upset that I was single, but since I started uni in Sept 2006 it's not bothered me once - I've just been so busy, and had so much going on ALL the time, that being single is the last thing I concentrate on.
Keeping busy is therefore my main piece of advice for living a happy single life.
I've only been in 2 relationships in the past. One when I was 16, lasting a week (found out he had 3 other girls on the go), and one when I was 17 lasting a month (he cheated on me at this point). I'm now 20.
Before university, I used to go through phases of desperation; upset that I was single, but since I started uni in Sept 2006 it's not bothered me once - I've just been so busy, and had so much going on ALL the time, that being single is the last thing I concentrate on.
Keeping busy is therefore my main piece of advice for living a happy single life.
you shouldnt rely on someone else to make you feel who "you" are.
you rock girl and you know it!
single and loving it!
choclolate, shopping, and johhny depp also helps, i find....
you rock girl and you know it!
single and loving it!
choclolate, shopping, and johhny depp also helps, i find....
Key to enjoying being single is enjoying being on your own. If you don't like being on your own, then single is a bit crap.
It also helps if any relationships you've had have been disappointing. Sounds like you've had good ones, so I get the feeling you're unlikely to enjoy single life.
It also helps if any relationships you've had have been disappointing. Sounds like you've had good ones, so I get the feeling you're unlikely to enjoy single life.
Remember the 1/3 rule.
You have one third of the time you were with a person to "get over" them, after that you're wasting your life away.
Two and a half years is 30 months, so if you still feel the same way in about 8 months, you need to sort yourself out. 2 months isn't long to get over a 2 and a half year relationship.
You have one third of the time you were with a person to "get over" them, after that you're wasting your life away.
Two and a half years is 30 months, so if you still feel the same way in about 8 months, you need to sort yourself out. 2 months isn't long to get over a 2 and a half year relationship.
SilverWings
Remember the 1/3 rule.
You have one third of the time you were with a person to "get over" them, after that you're wasting your life away.
Two and a half years is 30 months, so if you still feel the same way in about 8 months, you need to sort yourself out. 2 months isn't long to get over a 2 and a half year relationship.
You have one third of the time you were with a person to "get over" them, after that you're wasting your life away.
Two and a half years is 30 months, so if you still feel the same way in about 8 months, you need to sort yourself out. 2 months isn't long to get over a 2 and a half year relationship.
is this a real rule? makes me feel much better then, here I thought still being sort of down 1 month after a 1yr thing ended made me pathetic :-)
I'm happy being single -- I like feeling free and being able to do exactly what I want with my time. At the moment I'm trying to reevaluate things and figure out exactly who I am, and I need to do that on my own.
However, I just got out of The Relationship From Hell, so things might be very different for someone who has had a relatively happy experience of relationships.
However, I just got out of The Relationship From Hell, so things might be very different for someone who has had a relatively happy experience of relationships.
You're independant, don't have someone else basically controlling your emotions (if you have an arguement with your bf/gf you'd be really upset and it would affect other things in your life) you can have random fun *wink wink*, you can discover yourself as a person as you are free to do whatever and make your own mistakes/learn things without worrying it could affect someone that close to you, you can date people without being totally tied down etc. Keep yourself busy and you'll feel better, hope you're ok
nish81
is this a real rule? makes me feel much better then, here I thought still being sort of down 1 month after a 1yr thing ended made me pathetic :-)
I just came out of a 13 month relationship about 3 months ago, and I feel fine about it now, everyone is different.
Anonymous
To all you girls (and guys) who are genuinely happy with your single life... I want to know how it's done!
I know it's definitely possible to be completely happy and content when you're single, but I seem to have forgotten how to do it. I came out of a 2.5 year relationship at the beginning of August, and I'd gone straight into that relationship from a 3 year one, which basically means that I'm now 22 and haven't actually been single since I was 16. In that time span, my parents split up, I've moved away from home and grown up a lot, and I've always, always, always had really wonderful and supportive boyfriends to fall back on. Without that, I feel completely and utterly lost.
I really am trying to get my life back on track. In the couple of months since my relationship ended, I've surrounded myself with my friends and been going out with them loads - but to be completely honest, I still feel like I'm just going through the motions. I don't get the same sense of excitement about a Friday night out as I did about a Friday night with my ex after not seeing each other all week. I'm doing all the textbook things to move on (throwing myself into my work and friendships) but it all feels so empty and one-dimensional. It helps, sure, but it doesn't stop me missing my ex or just wishing so much that I could have back what I had before.
I know it takes time, but it's been a couple of months and it's not getting better yet. To inspire me, I was hoping people could tell me why they're happy to be single, and all the amazing things that it allows you to do?
And also, when you've been in a relationship for such a long time... how do you rediscover who 'you' are again? I shared so much with my ex that I feel like I'm half a person without him. How do I get that other half of me back? How do I start getting as excited about planning my own future as I used to be about planning a future with him?
Any thoughts are very welcome. I'm doing my best, but I still feel very lost at the moment.
I know it's definitely possible to be completely happy and content when you're single, but I seem to have forgotten how to do it. I came out of a 2.5 year relationship at the beginning of August, and I'd gone straight into that relationship from a 3 year one, which basically means that I'm now 22 and haven't actually been single since I was 16. In that time span, my parents split up, I've moved away from home and grown up a lot, and I've always, always, always had really wonderful and supportive boyfriends to fall back on. Without that, I feel completely and utterly lost.
I really am trying to get my life back on track. In the couple of months since my relationship ended, I've surrounded myself with my friends and been going out with them loads - but to be completely honest, I still feel like I'm just going through the motions. I don't get the same sense of excitement about a Friday night out as I did about a Friday night with my ex after not seeing each other all week. I'm doing all the textbook things to move on (throwing myself into my work and friendships) but it all feels so empty and one-dimensional. It helps, sure, but it doesn't stop me missing my ex or just wishing so much that I could have back what I had before.
I know it takes time, but it's been a couple of months and it's not getting better yet. To inspire me, I was hoping people could tell me why they're happy to be single, and all the amazing things that it allows you to do?
And also, when you've been in a relationship for such a long time... how do you rediscover who 'you' are again? I shared so much with my ex that I feel like I'm half a person without him. How do I get that other half of me back? How do I start getting as excited about planning my own future as I used to be about planning a future with him?
Any thoughts are very welcome. I'm doing my best, but I still feel very lost at the moment.
theses op sounds all rather all to firmular , bnuts some of these times and numbers! cant get ny head around>!
SilverWings
It's a pretty good indicator, it's kinda the maximum time you should allow yourself really.
I just came out of a 13 month relationship about 3 months ago, and I feel fine about it now, everyone is different.
I just came out of a 13 month relationship about 3 months ago, and I feel fine about it now, everyone is different.
good for you
so i'll give myself another month then ^_^
It's hard to explain what I "feel" as I don't really feel anything. I've always been single and it's never really bothered me. I've not really even asked a girl out nor do I have any form of experience whatsoever, but as I said, it doesn't concern me to be honest. I'm 18 and at uni now so I'm quite unusual in that sense as I know few people in the same situation as me. Sometimes I do wonder about being "different" (for lack of a better word) but I dunno, I'm quite content without any of the hassle that I imagine would go with it.
nish81
good for you
so i'll give myself another month then ^_^
so i'll give myself another month then ^_^
Just so you know
To the OP, you don't know how to be happy and single because for the entire span of you're adult life (16+) you have never actually been properly single.
I'm quite the opposite of you so maybe I can give you some advice. I'm 22 but have probably never had even 1 good, solid relationship since I was 16. I have had on-off relationships and flings but have generally always classed myself as single.
Part of the sad truth from my experience is that maybe its never entireley possible to be in your 20's, be single and elated about it. Being single isn't what I believe nature intended. According to nature we're meant to be in relationships, having babies and just generally be surrounded by people in our 20's. It is possible,however to be content and satisfied when you're single and to continue adding things to you're CV as it were(therefore increasing your desirability.) Maybe that is something to try and aim for rather than getting depressed about not being happy.
One thing for sure that is definitely true is that being single makes you a stronger individual. Yes some may feel that they are more confident in a relationship but I see that as more of a mock confidence and is probably the reason why many, women in particular jump from one relationship to another without much space in between due to the emptyness/lack of self worth being alone can give you.
All I can say is as someone else metioned just accept you're new status, try not to hate it and if something is going to come along then it will. Just do't settle with some1 who is second best for the hell of it.
I'm quite the opposite of you so maybe I can give you some advice. I'm 22 but have probably never had even 1 good, solid relationship since I was 16. I have had on-off relationships and flings but have generally always classed myself as single.
Part of the sad truth from my experience is that maybe its never entireley possible to be in your 20's, be single and elated about it. Being single isn't what I believe nature intended. According to nature we're meant to be in relationships, having babies and just generally be surrounded by people in our 20's. It is possible,however to be content and satisfied when you're single and to continue adding things to you're CV as it were(therefore increasing your desirability.) Maybe that is something to try and aim for rather than getting depressed about not being happy.
One thing for sure that is definitely true is that being single makes you a stronger individual. Yes some may feel that they are more confident in a relationship but I see that as more of a mock confidence and is probably the reason why many, women in particular jump from one relationship to another without much space in between due to the emptyness/lack of self worth being alone can give you.
All I can say is as someone else metioned just accept you're new status, try not to hate it and if something is going to come along then it will. Just do't settle with some1 who is second best for the hell of it.
AsphyxiateD
It's hard to explain what I "feel" as I don't really feel anything. I've always been single and it's never really bothered me. I've not really even asked a girl out nor do I have any form of experience whatsoever, but as I said, it doesn't concern me to be honest. I'm 18 and at uni now so I'm quite unusual in that sense as I know few people in the same situation as me. Sometimes I do wonder about being "different" (for lack of a better word) but I dunno, I'm quite content without any of the hassle that I imagine would go with it.
There are many more people out there like you than you'd think.
I'm also adjusting to the single life right now, im 19, was in a relationship for 3.5 years since i was 15 till last april, and fairly soon after breaking up i was with someone else for another 4-5months, and now single again. so i haven't really been single since i was 15 and its quite weird but i must say.. but i do enjoy it.
Like you i've been out with friends alot more and i can focus alot more on work whereas before it would have been time with my boyfriend instead of working. I just have more time in general to do what i want really, i do miss having someone but now i think i can talk to whoever male i want without there being a boyfriend spying in the background, i can spend more time with friends, go out more than i did with them and for me its just made life easier really as my parents weren't too pleased with me having a boyfriend (i realise its different for you living away and such) but yeah i'm enjoying the single life for now.
Like you i've been out with friends alot more and i can focus alot more on work whereas before it would have been time with my boyfriend instead of working. I just have more time in general to do what i want really, i do miss having someone but now i think i can talk to whoever male i want without there being a boyfriend spying in the background, i can spend more time with friends, go out more than i did with them and for me its just made life easier really as my parents weren't too pleased with me having a boyfriend (i realise its different for you living away and such) but yeah i'm enjoying the single life for now.
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