English Language (9-1) Creative Writing Examples!

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haseebj49
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#1
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Hi, all!
I thought it would be a good idea to have one place where you could find examples of the big 40 marker on paper 1 - creative writing.
Feel free to include your own examples (I've added one too ).
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haseebj49
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Enjoy reading
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Sum Ting
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(Original post by haseeb_jarral786)
Enjoy reading
Wow, this is really good!! I aspire to reach your level one day
How many marks did you get for this?
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Balkaran
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(Original post by haseeb_jarral786)
Enjoy reading
That was amazing damn. I only have one thing that you could change at the beginning you used torrential to describe the rain twice. I don't think you should repeat words. According to my school teacher you lose marks but that's what she said. It;s not a big deal though
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Balkaran
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Rate my story haseeb has already rated it on a different post but I want some other opinions as well.
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haseebj49
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(Original post by Sum Ting)
Wow, this is really good!! I aspire to reach your level one day
How many marks did you get for this?
Thank you
It's just something I whipped up when I was practising. No planning or anything tbh. Whatever came up in my mind is what I wrote... I think I may consider getting it marked though. I'll keep you updated.
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haseebj49
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(Original post by Balkaran)
That was amazing damn. I only have one thing that you could change at the beginning you used torrential to describe the rain twice. I don't think you should repeat words. According to my school teacher you lose marks but that's what she said. It;s not a big deal though
Oops, didn't realise when I was checking through it. It is something that may lose you a mark I think so I have to be careful next time.
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rebecca.jb
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Hi there! I love your creative writing, it's really good c:
Do you mind if I drop something I wrote here?
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haseebj49
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(Original post by rebecca.jb)
Hi there! I love your creative writing, it's really good c:
Do you mind if I drop something I wrote here?
Sure, feel free.
I can help look over it if you want...
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dxvid
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Found this quite humorous! Best of luck with your exams
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rebecca.jb
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(Original post by haseeb_jarral786)
Sure, feel free.
I can help look over it if you want...
Thank you c: I wrote it a while ago and it's a bit short but (it was an exercise in class not an exam) but it should be okay.

Cold, salty tears trailed slowly down my face - red raw - leaving thin pale streaks. Sunset lapsed, abandoning a dim yellow radiance. It didn't illuminate much but seemed to highlight the ice and snow. A glacial frost. Unforgiving.
Far out on the inexhaustible horizon of the sea my bloodshot eyes could just about pinpoint a flailing shape. Condemned to death, consumed by hysteria, they squirmed in the grasp of the merciless ocean.
It wasn't my fault, it was theirs. People who do not feel emotion are no longer people and do not deserve to live. Terrified, desperate screeches crawled through the frozen air to where I was standing. Who cared, really? I blinked, dismissing any remaining guilt. Not my fault. Not my mistakes.
Why I cried, I don't know. Why I am still crying confuses me even more.
"Gemma!" Another pitiful squeal sounded. "Gemma come on, help me! Help me Gemma!". A careless grunt sounded as I sniffed upwards. The cold was bitter. Tighter my grasp became on the shimmering green gemstone. An emerald; his favourite. Selling it would bring in a great sum; although, I suspected, no amount of money could be worth the joy I would feel when I flung it off the pier, to it's watery grave, along with him. Without a second thought over it went.
"Wha-" a splutter as his head was covered by a probing arm of water. "What are you doing?! Gemma! Gemma help me! Please Gemma!". Oh it's all about me, Gemma, me! I'm not sure he cared anymore about the jewel. Just his life. As usual.
It's weird because the first time he did it I forgave him, I did. And he swore to me he'd never do it again, he promised. And then the second time he neglected to tell me and the third I just plain ignored. They were all very beautiful women but what did that make me? A murderer.
The fourth time it made me a murderer.
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haseebj49
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(Original post by rebecca.jb)
Thank you c: I wrote it a while ago and it's a bit short but (it was an exercise in class not an exam) but it should be okay.

Cold, salty tears trailed slowly down my face - red raw - leaving thin pale streaks. Sunset lapsed, abandoning a dim yellow radiance. It didn't illuminate much but seemed to highlight the ice and snow. A glacial frost. Unforgiving.
Far out on the inexhaustible horizon of the sea my bloodshot eyes could just about pinpoint a flailing shape. Condemned to death, consumed by hysteria, they squirmed in the grasp of the merciless ocean.
It wasn't my fault, it was theirs. People who do not feel emotion are no longer people and do not deserve to live. Terrified, desperate screeches crawled through the frozen air to where I was standing. Who cared, really? I blinked, dismissing any remaining guilt. Not my fault. Not my mistakes.
Why I cried, I don't know. Why I am still crying confuses me even more.
"Gemma!" Another pitiful squeal sounded. "Gemma come on, help me! Help me Gemma!". A careless grunt sounded as I sniffed upwards. The cold was bitter. Tighter my grasp became on the shimmering green gemstone. An emerald; his favourite. Selling it would bring in a great sum; although, I suspected, no amount of money could be worth the joy I would feel when I flung it off the pier, to it's watery grave, along with him. Without a second thought over it went.
"Wha-" a splutter as his head was covered by a probing arm of water. "What are you doing?! Gemma! Gemma help me! Please Gemma!". Oh it's all about me, Gemma, me! I'm not sure he cared anymore about the jewel. Just his life. As usual.
It's weird because the first time he did it I forgave him, I did. And he swore to me he'd never do it again, he promised. And then the second time he neglected to tell me and the third I just plain ignored. They were all very beautiful women but what did that make me? A murderer.
The fourth time it made me a murderer.
Whoa - that was so good. It was really intriguing
I like the rhetorical questions (many people use it in a cliche way which makes it seems dull, but you nailed it.)
The structure was really good, especially with the sentence lengths and the punctuation used.
There's not much I can say apart from maybe losing the semi-colon from the phrase:

Tighter my grasp became on the shimmering green gemstone. An emerald; his favourite.
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haseebj49
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(Original post by dxvid)
Found this quite humorous! Best of luck with your exams
Why so dxvid?
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dxvid
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(Original post by haseeb_jarral786)
Why so dxvid?
Found it rather relatable
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haseebj49
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(Original post by dxvid)
Found it rather relatable
This thread or the creative writing piece?
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dxvid
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(Original post by haseeb_jarral786)
This thread or the creative writing piece?
The piece, it was excellent!
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haseebj49
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(Original post by dxvid)
The piece, it was excellent!
Thank you!
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adrian max
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(Original post by haseeb_jarral786)
Enjoy reading
I loved the creative writing, any ideas how many marks would you score out off /40? and roughly ehat grade 7/8/9
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haseebj49
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I didn't get it marked. It was just something to do as an excuse for revision...
Sorry 🙂

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haseebj49
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Sorry for leaving this late ...
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