English Language (9-1) Creative Writing Examples!

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bondeh
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#81
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#81
fab I like your quality....
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scarletborows
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ive got an english mock soon and its for cretaive/descriptive writing. I need some help with descriptive writing, i find it very challenging. How can i revise for it and what could help me with writing them. thankyou need to know asap
Last edited by scarletborows; 1 year ago
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Sparkson
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You had used the phrase
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Lauragarcia
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👍🏻
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scarletborows
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There she stood alone and unnoticed, at the beginning of what looked like an abandoned street; a street that she had not set foot upon for nearly five long years. The cobbled road, which was once was full of life and bustling people was now decrepit and deteriorating with potholes dotting through the entire path. She began to walk onwards a little until she was standing on the doorstep of the thatched stone cottage that four generations of her family had called home. She twirled her rich auburn hair around her index finger, the way she always did when she felt anxious; as the day she had been dreading finally dawned in the threatening sky above. She had clever eyes that dodged behind a faded fringe and freckles that enhanced her face like stars: that glowed with content and satisfaction. Her eyes were still green, but they were no longer the bright, sparkling emerald they used to be.

Sinister, storming clouds brewed above like a thick blanket, blocking out what little illumination the moon provided. Even the darkness of midnight could not hide the reality from her. She waited out lurking in front of the house but still didn’t knock. What was stopping her? Instead, she peered through the window, where a thin line of condensation had formed around the edge. It was the still the same, the narrow wooden stairs led down into the living room with a rug spread out over the hardwood floor and a beige corner sofa meant to seat four but could seat seven at a squeeze.
Can someone add and improve this thanks x
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Gracecp9797
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(Original post by haseeb_jarral)
Enjoy reading
How do I read Nothing happens when I click on the tab ?
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Gracecp9797
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(Original post by haseeb_jarral)
Hi, all!
I thought it would be a good idea to have one place where you could find examples of the big 40 marker on paper 1 - creative writing.
Feel free to include your own examples (I've added one too ).
Can you email you attachment to me please as it just won’t work ?
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pjmcc11
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(Original post by haseeb_jarral)
Hi, all!
I thought it would be a good idea to have one place where you could find examples of the big 40 marker on paper 1 - creative writing.
Feel free to include your own examples (I've added one too ).
Hi I'm doing edexcel and was wondering if you can copy other people as not very good at english?
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SpanishBook
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(Original post by rebecca.jb)
Thank you c: I wrote it a while ago and it's a bit short but (it was an exercise in class not an exam) but it should be okay.

Cold, salty tears trailed slowly down my face - red raw - leaving thin pale streaks. Sunset lapsed, abandoning a dim yellow radiance. It didn't illuminate much but seemed to highlight the ice and snow. A glacial frost. Unforgiving.
Far out on the inexhaustible horizon of the sea my bloodshot eyes could just about pinpoint a flailing shape. Condemned to death, consumed by hysteria, they squirmed in the grasp of the merciless ocean.
It wasn't my fault, it was theirs. People who do not feel emotion are no longer people and do not deserve to live. Terrified, desperate screeches crawled through the frozen air to where I was standing. Who cared, really? I blinked, dismissing any remaining guilt. Not my fault. Not my mistakes.
Why I cried, I don't know. Why I am still crying confuses me even more.
"Gemma!" Another pitiful squeal sounded. "Gemma come on, help me! Help me Gemma!". A careless grunt sounded as I sniffed upwards. The cold was bitter. Tighter my grasp became on the shimmering green gemstone. An emerald; his favourite. Selling it would bring in a great sum; although, I suspected, no amount of money could be worth the joy I would feel when I flung it off the pier, to it's watery grave, along with him. Without a second thought over it went.
"Wha-" a splutter as his head was covered by a probing arm of water. "What are you doing?! Gemma! Gemma help me! Please Gemma!". Oh it's all about me, Gemma, me! I'm not sure he cared anymore about the jewel. Just his life. As usual.
It's weird because the first time he did it I forgave him, I did. And he swore to me he'd never do it again, he promised. And then the second time he neglected to tell me and the third I just plain ignored. They were all very beautiful women but what did that make me? A murderer.
The fourth time it made me a murderer.
My god this is good. I'm preparing for my Language mocks tomorrow
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Durjam
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#90
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I'm pretty sure u would get more Marks because you are emphasising point. you dont get down marked
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Lala143
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(Original post by Ayub2005)
Hi everybody I am going to attach a descriptive piece of writing.I am a year 8 student and I would love to receive some feedback on it.
It's good but as you want feedback at the beginning I think you should get rid of the first adverb or the second one it's superfluous(unnecessary practising new words) to have both. You should also, include more figurative language such as similes, metaphors, personification and alliteration add others but you have to make sure you have all 4 of these. Extra tip: short paragraphs e.g. one word or one sentence paragraphs are great and they show you can manipulate structure.
Hope this helps!
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boe.u
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Hey guys, this is a short story I wrote. This is my first one and my vocab is very limited and i couldn't think of more to add. any comments on how to improve?

--

I stood there, waiting, wondering, wishing, for a sign or a clue that would lead me to him. The grey skies hovered above me, as if to gracefully observe my every move. The glorious mountain laying under my feet felt nonexistent although it visibly was. Its stillness was frightening, nerve-wrecking and in some way infuriating. I came up here for it to help me, to provide me with a perspective, a vantage point. I needed mobility. I needed to fly. To be able to search every inch of this town from up above.

But I can’t fly.

It’s as if the mountain transduced its stillness into me. The anger and hope has subsided, and instead a permanent numbing mountain-like rock resides within me. I can’t escape it.

Now, I stand here, no longer waiting, wondering or wishing. I ponder in hopelessness, feeling ever inhalation of thick mountain air enter my chest and exhaling any remnant of hope I had in me into my altitudinous surrounding. I heavily drag one foot forward, only now becoming aware of my bare feet. I feel every harsh rock and grain of sand with the sole of my feet. I drag my other foot along, and now standing half on air, half on solid ground, I wonder, should I let go?
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Charles Hewlitt
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#93
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This entire thread is incredible, props to everyone so far
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boe.u
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I wrote another piece. Posting it in case any one can give me some feedback!



Everything is pitch black. My eyelids refuse to open. My tongue refuses to speak. My mind screams: move! Slowly, a blurry image forms and a strong, heavy scent fills my nostrils; atleast I know my senses are in tact. My vision finally focuses into a view of crystal clear skies; the most turquoise skies I have ever seen. As my eyes gaze upon this peaceful sky, a quivering voice inside me tells me not to look away. That maybe those forgiving skies are above something much less forgiving. Even if I wanted to look around, I couldn’t. I feel as if my body has been dipped in cement! With any strength I can muster, I heavily turn my head to rest my normally rosy cheeks on the softest cotton-candy like sand.

That voice was right.

Fierce blazing fires engulfed dozens of innocent palm trees surrounding this magical island. Blades of angry iron stabbed the white sand I was lying on: destroying any serenity this place once had. My tear-filled eyes darted left and right in a failed attempt to absorb the chaos around me.

It hurts. Everything hurts.

It’s not a sharp pain like the one you would get from a prickle of a needle. No, it’s more internal like everything has been twisted and turned into a tight knot. The sore, burning, soul-eating sensation spreads in every fiber of my being. Without any thought or intention, my bruised legs curl up and my arms hide me into a fetal position. There is no denying it anymore. I am living the aftermath of a plane crash.
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rucky786
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i cant see the story
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unicone
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Could someone read my descriptive writing please and give it a mark out of 30.
Write about a frightening experience. Your response could be real or imagined. You may wish to base your response on one of the images.

Coarsely, packed together cobblestones were arranged together to form an opening. The cold monochrome colours, leeched of colour penetrated my layers of warmth consisting of my snuggly scarf and mittens: the bitter cold stung my fingers as the wind whistled wistfully as if to guide me through the abyss of darkness and emptiness.

One foot before the other I told myself- I must have looked like I was rehearsing for a catwalk or something… one foot before the other. The oddly patterned stones were tricky to walk on; you’d never know when the patterns would change and they might just trip you up- but I took care not to fall.

I don’t know what the time is any more- I might as well have been trapped here for a month because that’s what it feels like. When you stay in the same place for a long time, you get used to it and that’s how I feel now. There’s no point in calling for help because it’s hopeless.

I’m hopeless.

The torrential rain dripping from the top of the tunnel soaked through my clothes and was slowly seeping into my skin like slugs lurking around under my skin. Drip, drop, drip, drop… just like my faulty tap at home- at night when I tried to sleep all I could hear was the runny tap.
Everyone must be worried sick by now- mum especially- I should have listened to her.
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popcorn024
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#97
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#97
can you give a part two to the beach story or finish it i aspire to write like you your writing is amazing
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Alexdoc89
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#98
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I got this test on Tuesday 2nd july plz help
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zaynahx
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#99
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Your work is incredible and so engrossing!
(Original post by haseebj49)
Enjoy reading
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Durjam
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That's really nice imagery using senses etc, and it is definitely enough - the examiners say 400-500 words.

The one thing to improve in is structure I think because the description of the crowd seems to be spread across most paragraphs and mixed in with your sense of peace description; so I would structure it in a way that all the description of the crowd is in one or 2 paragraphs and the other themes (children and peace) are in other paragraphs.

BTW that was way better then anything I could do so i might be completely wrong
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