Does he like me? If not...how do I get over him?

Ok... i'm not sure if I even need advice about this, and I know it's going to sound utterly ridiculous, and in my heart I know I should leave well alone, but I want to see what you guys think, anyway...
I've been friends with this guy for about 4 years... we're at different unis, but we text, email and phone each other, and he comes down on the train to see me when he can. We flirt crazily and share our deepest secrets and thoughts... The thing is, he has a girlfriend, he says it's a rebound relationship (because his ex was the love of his life and hurt him badly), and he would have left her months ago if it wasn't that she was hurt so badly by previous boyfriends.. He's coming down to see me soon, and I can't stop thinking about him... I just want to text/phone him all the time! I want to tell him everything! I want him to love me, but I have this horrible feeling he's using me for cheap thrills and flirting and hopes we can have a quick fling on the side when he comes down..... am I right in thinking this? how do I get over him? :frown:

Reply 1

Radicool

Good friends for 4 years just so he can have a quick fling? I don't think that's very likely. If you know him as well as it sounds like you do, surely you know if he's likely to do that to you.
He probably thinks of you just as a friend, especially as he is still meeting with you though he has a girlfriend.
If you want a relationship with him, you have to make your intentions clear, otherwise you will just carry on as you are. However, this does mean you risk you relationship as friends if he doesn't feel the same way.
I say ask him how his relationship is going, and if he isn't very positive, drop a few subtle hints. :yy:

Reply 2

Ink

If you've been friends for 4 years and text/phone/email each other all the time, then what makes you think he's using you for cheap thrills, or wants a quick fling? Has something happened that you haven't mentioned?

It's really hard to say whether he likes you. Some people actually just have flirtatious friendships - and they they think it's all harmless. Sometimes it is. Sometimes there is something more behind it. Pay attention to how often his eyes are on you when he comes to visit, how often he makes body lingering body contact...those signs are worth a lot more than a few flirtatious remarks.

It's up to you whether you want to confess your feelings to him. It seems like you've got a good friendship going, and it could be awkward afterwards if you tell him and he doesn't feel the same because of the flirtatious dynamic right now. However, I do find that telling people, even when I know it's hopeless, can speed up the getting over them process! And who knows - he's (apparently) not that into his current gf. It could turn out well!