This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Finding my Heritage
- Help I want to do dentistry but I don’t have the grades
- liverpool dentistry?
- Never see my boyfriend after his graduate scheme
- ST1/CT1 recruitment
- URGENT HELP! I used an Erasable pen for my exams.
- Imperial Admission test
- Eating and still being hungry
- I NEED HELP!! (US university’s)
- transfer unis?
- How likely am I to get an offer from UCL/LSE
- GCSES for cambridge Ecomomics
- Advice
- Snapchat memories not loading
- Degree apprenticeship question
- LSE MSc management waitlist 2023
- I am living a lie
- Doubtful existence of a grant.
- I like my flatmate who has a partner
- really lost
Lost my chance?
I met this girl last saturday at my party, and basically I got her number there; I charmed her big time. I didn't get off with her at my party.
Right, zoom one week down the line -- she went out clubbing yesterday. Anyway she phones me (or more like her and her flatmate whilst drunk from a club asking if there was a party at my pad). I told her no, in a reply back in my text at 2am, then I took a powernap because I thought I had lost my chance as I got no reply back.
....Zoom 2 hours later, 4am. I got 3 missed calls from this girl and 2 text messages with her basically telling me that she is back from town and that I should go on over to hers for a party. I tested the water with an inside joke, and she phoned me. So I went on over.
Once there I had to disarm her flatmates, one in particular was not very receptive and hanged around with us for ages, I felt I got her on my side, and she went to bed. It was now just me and the girl I like. I kept on making her laugh; like endlessly. Then I made a joke up, damn girl where did you get these DVDs from? You didn't take them from my place did you? To which she laughed, blabbered something and then I said lets go to mine, with them and watch a DVD. She agreed, we went over to mine.
Now my kitchen is a tip, I live with absolute animals. Her first reaction - she started cleaning it at 6am - damn. I told her she didnt have to, and that the animals in the flat will sort it out. She was adoment and did so. So after sharing a cigerette, watching her cleaning the kitchen, we FINALLY watched a DVD together. Again, I was making her laugh endlessly (I think I woke up my flatmates up)...to which she would reply "you are such a legend" to which I would reply "your saying that because you cant resist my charm" etc. We sat down next on the couch next to each other and I don't know I just couldnt go for it, there was touching but not much, her legs were next to mine etc, just side by side. It was only after I turned around, looked at her as we were watching the movie that any real touching began, I initiated this by teasing her, so we started to playfully hit each other. Then my flatmate walks in, undeterred we kept at it smiling and hitting each other. To which I said to her "if you keep on doing that I will have to hit you back
". Eventually it started to get light, she said she wasnt really paying attention to the movie and had to go, I said to her "oh but come on the movie aint over yet!", her reply "got lectures soon blah blah, you should go to bed too", then I said "lunch on saturday", she nodded her head and told me to text her on saturday or sunday.
I feel like that I have given her the power now, I have been in this exact situation before and it didn't end pretty. The girl in the other case, just kept blowing me off when I tried to meet up with her. I like this girl, so I dont mind dating her...but I guess if nothing happens I wouldn't be greatly upset, I am always talking to other girls, so will move on.
I dont know what to do. One half of me wants to be in a relationship, another half doesn't because I enjoy teasing women like this.
Right, zoom one week down the line -- she went out clubbing yesterday. Anyway she phones me (or more like her and her flatmate whilst drunk from a club asking if there was a party at my pad). I told her no, in a reply back in my text at 2am, then I took a powernap because I thought I had lost my chance as I got no reply back.
....Zoom 2 hours later, 4am. I got 3 missed calls from this girl and 2 text messages with her basically telling me that she is back from town and that I should go on over to hers for a party. I tested the water with an inside joke, and she phoned me. So I went on over.
Once there I had to disarm her flatmates, one in particular was not very receptive and hanged around with us for ages, I felt I got her on my side, and she went to bed. It was now just me and the girl I like. I kept on making her laugh; like endlessly. Then I made a joke up, damn girl where did you get these DVDs from? You didn't take them from my place did you? To which she laughed, blabbered something and then I said lets go to mine, with them and watch a DVD. She agreed, we went over to mine.
Now my kitchen is a tip, I live with absolute animals. Her first reaction - she started cleaning it at 6am - damn. I told her she didnt have to, and that the animals in the flat will sort it out. She was adoment and did so. So after sharing a cigerette, watching her cleaning the kitchen, we FINALLY watched a DVD together. Again, I was making her laugh endlessly (I think I woke up my flatmates up)...to which she would reply "you are such a legend" to which I would reply "your saying that because you cant resist my charm" etc. We sat down next on the couch next to each other and I don't know I just couldnt go for it, there was touching but not much, her legs were next to mine etc, just side by side. It was only after I turned around, looked at her as we were watching the movie that any real touching began, I initiated this by teasing her, so we started to playfully hit each other. Then my flatmate walks in, undeterred we kept at it smiling and hitting each other. To which I said to her "if you keep on doing that I will have to hit you back
". Eventually it started to get light, she said she wasnt really paying attention to the movie and had to go, I said to her "oh but come on the movie aint over yet!", her reply "got lectures soon blah blah, you should go to bed too", then I said "lunch on saturday", she nodded her head and told me to text her on saturday or sunday. I feel like that I have given her the power now, I have been in this exact situation before and it didn't end pretty. The girl in the other case, just kept blowing me off when I tried to meet up with her. I like this girl, so I dont mind dating her...but I guess if nothing happens I wouldn't be greatly upset, I am always talking to other girls, so will move on.
I dont know what to do. One half of me wants to be in a relationship, another half doesn't because I enjoy teasing women like this.
I daresay you will lead a pointless existence going from one girl to the next... 
but certainly it doesnt sound over just yet - try for lunch and see what happens
but certainly it doesnt sound over just yet - try for lunch and see what happens
Clubber Lang
I daresay you will lead a pointless existence going from one girl to the next...
but certainly it doesnt sound over just yet - try for lunch and see what happens
but certainly it doesnt sound over just yet - try for lunch and see what happens
I am really good at talking to girls and basically charming them. (I am not that good looking - average guy), I am quite witty and sarcastic as hell to the point where girls accuse me of being very cheeky; when really I am just confident. In just over a week, got about 5-6 girls numbers.
My problem is being intimate mate. Very bad at it, like with this girl I probably would have risked it last night, but I got nervous and didn't, till she got bored and buggered off. That I guess is why I wouldn't mind a relationship at this stage, because I do think I need a girl to try and open me up in this way.
I don't want to come across as needy, it will be a turn off, it is apparent that she did miss my attention on a night out despite me paying her very little since saturday with the exception of a couple of witty text messages the day after I got her number. Plus it is hard to say if she does see me in that way, one half of me thinks yeah -- given the extent she went to, to see me, the other half thinks no.
I think the issue is less 'Lost my chance?' and more 'Should I chance it?'
Clubber Lang is dead right to suggest seeing what happens when you go for lunch. If she's up for lunch that you suggested, I can't see why you've given her the power. If you just want to be a player and forget everything else, I can understand why you're thinking that way.
But if you ARE up for giving a relationship a bit of a go, I'd say there's no 'power' to speak of in either direction at the moment. You're just feeling your way.
Relationships and fun are two very different situations, which is where I think the confusion is coming from. You've got to ask yourself, what do you really want...?
Clubber Lang is dead right to suggest seeing what happens when you go for lunch. If she's up for lunch that you suggested, I can't see why you've given her the power. If you just want to be a player and forget everything else, I can understand why you're thinking that way.
But if you ARE up for giving a relationship a bit of a go, I'd say there's no 'power' to speak of in either direction at the moment. You're just feeling your way.
Relationships and fun are two very different situations, which is where I think the confusion is coming from. You've got to ask yourself, what do you really want...?
randomreg
I think the issue is less 'Lost my chance?' and more 'Should I chance it?'
Clubber Lang is dead right to suggest seeing what happens when you go for lunch. If she's up for lunch that you suggested, I can't see why you've given her the power. If you just want to be a player and forget everything else, I can understand why you're thinking that way.
But if you ARE up for giving a relationship a bit of a go, I'd say there's no 'power' to speak of in either direction at the moment. You're just feeling your way.
Relationships and fun are two very different situations, which is where I think the confusion is coming from. You've got to ask yourself, what do you really want...?
Clubber Lang is dead right to suggest seeing what happens when you go for lunch. If she's up for lunch that you suggested, I can't see why you've given her the power. If you just want to be a player and forget everything else, I can understand why you're thinking that way.
But if you ARE up for giving a relationship a bit of a go, I'd say there's no 'power' to speak of in either direction at the moment. You're just feeling your way.
Relationships and fun are two very different situations, which is where I think the confusion is coming from. You've got to ask yourself, what do you really want...?
Been in this situation before, one girl before I didnt go for it, and she was all clingy etc. Then when I tried to get her for a day3, she seemed uninterested. But before then she wanted to meet up with me, gave me her number etc I am scared that the same thing may happen again with this one. I don't want her to think that if I text her, I am easily obtainable, I preferred it the way it was before with her making some effort.
Take your time with her, but if you really like her, why not think about asking her out.
You've got to remember that everyone is different.
In situations like this, it's impossible to judge things based on past experience like that. Many things are fine to use experience on, but relationships aren't. I've seen good friends change overnight because they suddenly think they can't trust another person after a bad break-up. I've seen other friends have clingy relationships, on/off relationships, totally unhealthy relationships, and it saddens me when some of those friends have let it take over their opinions on what's likely in the future.
The bottom line is that you just can't work relationships out easily. It's bad enough in a fully-fledged relationship, so when you're just getting to know a person...whew! Sometimes they work for you, sometimes they don't.
Also, being a player is different, as is looking for some limited fun. Because you're used to charming girls and you're clearly confident and able to help the fun tick along, you're probably imagining most of the girls to be playing that game in the same way. That's not necessarily true, but you may well be right too. Annoying, isn't it?
To some peeps, a text message is exactly what they want and to others it's just a way to get you under the thumb. However, there's another possibility which is simply that the other person isn't particularly expecting things to happen one way or another. They may even be pretty excited about what the future holds (but let's hope not in a really clingy way, for both your sakes!).
I still believe that you need to follow what you want. If you hook into a good relationship, that's great. If things don't work out, it's just time to move on. It's sometimes hard to take, but we're sometimes faced with that in life.
If it's a relationship you want with this, you both need to make some effort. If there's a shortcoming from either party, it has a negative impact on developing a relationship.
So again, after my ridiculously long post (sorry about that!)...what do you really want?
In situations like this, it's impossible to judge things based on past experience like that. Many things are fine to use experience on, but relationships aren't. I've seen good friends change overnight because they suddenly think they can't trust another person after a bad break-up. I've seen other friends have clingy relationships, on/off relationships, totally unhealthy relationships, and it saddens me when some of those friends have let it take over their opinions on what's likely in the future.
The bottom line is that you just can't work relationships out easily. It's bad enough in a fully-fledged relationship, so when you're just getting to know a person...whew! Sometimes they work for you, sometimes they don't.
Also, being a player is different, as is looking for some limited fun. Because you're used to charming girls and you're clearly confident and able to help the fun tick along, you're probably imagining most of the girls to be playing that game in the same way. That's not necessarily true, but you may well be right too. Annoying, isn't it?
To some peeps, a text message is exactly what they want and to others it's just a way to get you under the thumb. However, there's another possibility which is simply that the other person isn't particularly expecting things to happen one way or another. They may even be pretty excited about what the future holds (but let's hope not in a really clingy way, for both your sakes!).
I still believe that you need to follow what you want. If you hook into a good relationship, that's great. If things don't work out, it's just time to move on. It's sometimes hard to take, but we're sometimes faced with that in life.
If it's a relationship you want with this, you both need to make some effort. If there's a shortcoming from either party, it has a negative impact on developing a relationship.
So again, after my ridiculously long post (sorry about that!)...what do you really want?
I'm getting the feeling you haven't really 'lost your chance' at all. Seems to me you're more scared you won't get/go through with the chance to prove to yourself that you can get this girl.
If you like her, great. Sounds fine right now - casual and up in the air - like it should be. But if you're merely dedicated to 'teasing' her, woah your guns right down; leave her be to meet a nice bloke who is sure of what he wants.
If you like her, great. Sounds fine right now - casual and up in the air - like it should be. But if you're merely dedicated to 'teasing' her, woah your guns right down; leave her be to meet a nice bloke who is sure of what he wants.
randomreg
You've got to remember that everyone is different.
In situations like this, it's impossible to judge things based on past experience like that. Many things are fine to use experience on, but relationships aren't. I've seen good friends change overnight because they suddenly think they can't trust another person after a bad break-up. I've seen other friends have clingy relationships, on/off relationships, totally unhealthy relationships, and it saddens me when some of those friends have let it take over their opinions on what's likely in the future.
The bottom line is that you just can't work relationships out easily. It's bad enough in a fully-fledged relationship, so when you're just getting to know a person...whew! Sometimes they work for you, sometimes they don't.
Also, being a player is different, as is looking for some limited fun. Because you're used to charming girls and you're clearly confident and able to help the fun tick along, you're probably imagining most of the girls to be playing that game in the same way. That's not necessarily true, but you may well be right too. Annoying, isn't it?
To some peeps, a text message is exactly what they want and to others it's just a way to get you under the thumb. However, there's another possibility which is simply that the other person isn't particularly expecting things to happen one way or another. They may even be pretty excited about what the future holds (but let's hope not in a really clingy way, for both your sakes!).
I still believe that you need to follow what you want. If you hook into a good relationship, that's great. If things don't work out, it's just time to move on. It's sometimes hard to take, but we're sometimes faced with that in life.
If it's a relationship you want with this, you both need to make some effort. If there's a shortcoming from either party, it has a negative impact on developing a relationship.
So again, after my ridiculously long post (sorry about that!)...what do you really want?
In situations like this, it's impossible to judge things based on past experience like that. Many things are fine to use experience on, but relationships aren't. I've seen good friends change overnight because they suddenly think they can't trust another person after a bad break-up. I've seen other friends have clingy relationships, on/off relationships, totally unhealthy relationships, and it saddens me when some of those friends have let it take over their opinions on what's likely in the future.
The bottom line is that you just can't work relationships out easily. It's bad enough in a fully-fledged relationship, so when you're just getting to know a person...whew! Sometimes they work for you, sometimes they don't.
Also, being a player is different, as is looking for some limited fun. Because you're used to charming girls and you're clearly confident and able to help the fun tick along, you're probably imagining most of the girls to be playing that game in the same way. That's not necessarily true, but you may well be right too. Annoying, isn't it?
To some peeps, a text message is exactly what they want and to others it's just a way to get you under the thumb. However, there's another possibility which is simply that the other person isn't particularly expecting things to happen one way or another. They may even be pretty excited about what the future holds (but let's hope not in a really clingy way, for both your sakes!).
I still believe that you need to follow what you want. If you hook into a good relationship, that's great. If things don't work out, it's just time to move on. It's sometimes hard to take, but we're sometimes faced with that in life.
If it's a relationship you want with this, you both need to make some effort. If there's a shortcoming from either party, it has a negative impact on developing a relationship.
So again, after my ridiculously long post (sorry about that!)...what do you really want?
I suppose deep down inside, I want a relationship. I may appear as a guy that is not into that, that moves from one girl to the next - but that is only because I have not found the right one, and due to many bad experiences with different women in the past I have found that I am turning into a 'player'. Like now for example, I am confident if I went out - socialised I could quite easily get girls numbers just through my sheer confidence, and if I had the balls too I would probably have a high success rate in kissing/ shagging different girls.
...But that is not what I want. But it is annoying, because with many girls I build a lot of comfort with them, then they lose interest if I am too slow with them (again I do this deliberately because I don't want to hurt girls), and fail to keep in touch. Then when I see them again, they are all over me.
Last saturday for example at my party, there was this girl I went on a date on there, she was soooooooo clingy with me especially when I paid her little attention, and acted cheeky. Her friends did try to cockblock me, but I delt with it, and she just spent a lot of time with me, before I moved from her to another girl. The more I seem to act unobtainable the more attention I get, I am just scared by acting avaliable - I won't get the same level of interest.
I can't explain it, its so difficult to explain.
It's difficult for you to explain because of the past. It's inevitable, you react to it.
It's a cliche, but if you're looking for a relationship, you're going to have to be yourself. If it works out, that's great. If it doesn't, you have to understand that you were being yourself and the situation obviously wasn't right. It won't mean either one of you is specifically to blame.
At some point in a relationship, you both have to be yourself. It's usually best to get that bit out of the way sooner rather than later.
And if your current interest decides she's not interested herself, it's her loss.
There's no need to be scared about it if you give it your best. Don't let this or any other experience take away your happiness and confidence. It's never worth the while. Best of luck to you!
It's a cliche, but if you're looking for a relationship, you're going to have to be yourself. If it works out, that's great. If it doesn't, you have to understand that you were being yourself and the situation obviously wasn't right. It won't mean either one of you is specifically to blame.
At some point in a relationship, you both have to be yourself. It's usually best to get that bit out of the way sooner rather than later.
And if your current interest decides she's not interested herself, it's her loss.
There's no need to be scared about it if you give it your best. Don't let this or any other experience take away your happiness and confidence. It's never worth the while. Best of luck to you!
You say you enjoy teasing women, but she seems to know what she’s let herself in for. It sounds to me like the attraction is mutual. Go with your feelings and see what happens if she meets up for lunch. If she doesn’t want to meet up, there’s no point perusing her.
Anonymous
I met this girl last saturday at my party, and basically I got her number there; I charmed her big time. I didn't get off with her at my party.
Right, zoom one week down the line -- she went out clubbing yesterday. Anyway she phones me (or more like her and her flatmate whilst drunk from a club asking if there was a party at my pad). I told her no, in a reply back in my text at 2am, then I took a powernap because I thought I had lost my chance as I got no reply back.
....Zoom 2 hours later, 4am. I got 3 missed calls from this girl and 2 text messages with her basically telling me that she is back from town and that I should go on over to hers for a party. I tested the water with an inside joke, and she phoned me. So I went on over.
Once there I had to disarm her flatmates, one in particular was not very receptive and hanged around with us for ages, I felt I got her on my side, and she went to bed. It was now just me and the girl I like. I kept on making her laugh; like endlessly. Then I made a joke up, damn girl where did you get these DVDs from? You didn't take them from my place did you? To which she laughed, blabbered something and then I said lets go to mine, with them and watch a DVD. She agreed, we went over to mine.
Now my kitchen is a tip, I live with absolute animals. Her first reaction - she started cleaning it at 6am - damn. I told her she didnt have to, and that the animals in the flat will sort it out. She was adoment and did so. So after sharing a cigerette, watching her cleaning the kitchen, we FINALLY watched a DVD together. Again, I was making her laugh endlessly (I think I woke up my flatmates up)...to which she would reply "you are such a legend" to which I would reply "your saying that because you cant resist my charm" etc. We sat down next on the couch next to each other and I don't know I just couldnt go for it, there was touching but not much, her legs were next to mine etc, just side by side. It was only after I turned around, looked at her as we were watching the movie that any real touching began, I initiated this by teasing her, so we started to playfully hit each other. Then my flatmate walks in, undeterred we kept at it smiling and hitting each other. To which I said to her "if you keep on doing that I will have to hit you back". Eventually it started to get light, she said she wasnt really paying attention to the movie and had to go, I said to her "oh but come on the movie aint over yet!", her reply "got lectures soon blah blah, you should go to bed too", then I said "lunch on saturday", she nodded her head and told me to text her on saturday or sunday.
I feel like that I have given her the power now, I have been in this exact situation before and it didn't end pretty. The girl in the other case, just kept blowing me off when I tried to meet up with her. I like this girl, so I dont mind dating her...but I guess if nothing happens I wouldn't be greatly upset, I am always talking to other girls, so will move on.
I dont know what to do. One half of me wants to be in a relationship, another half doesn't because I enjoy teasing women like this.
Right, zoom one week down the line -- she went out clubbing yesterday. Anyway she phones me (or more like her and her flatmate whilst drunk from a club asking if there was a party at my pad). I told her no, in a reply back in my text at 2am, then I took a powernap because I thought I had lost my chance as I got no reply back.
....Zoom 2 hours later, 4am. I got 3 missed calls from this girl and 2 text messages with her basically telling me that she is back from town and that I should go on over to hers for a party. I tested the water with an inside joke, and she phoned me. So I went on over.
Once there I had to disarm her flatmates, one in particular was not very receptive and hanged around with us for ages, I felt I got her on my side, and she went to bed. It was now just me and the girl I like. I kept on making her laugh; like endlessly. Then I made a joke up, damn girl where did you get these DVDs from? You didn't take them from my place did you? To which she laughed, blabbered something and then I said lets go to mine, with them and watch a DVD. She agreed, we went over to mine.
Now my kitchen is a tip, I live with absolute animals. Her first reaction - she started cleaning it at 6am - damn. I told her she didnt have to, and that the animals in the flat will sort it out. She was adoment and did so. So after sharing a cigerette, watching her cleaning the kitchen, we FINALLY watched a DVD together. Again, I was making her laugh endlessly (I think I woke up my flatmates up)...to which she would reply "you are such a legend" to which I would reply "your saying that because you cant resist my charm" etc. We sat down next on the couch next to each other and I don't know I just couldnt go for it, there was touching but not much, her legs were next to mine etc, just side by side. It was only after I turned around, looked at her as we were watching the movie that any real touching began, I initiated this by teasing her, so we started to playfully hit each other. Then my flatmate walks in, undeterred we kept at it smiling and hitting each other. To which I said to her "if you keep on doing that I will have to hit you back
". Eventually it started to get light, she said she wasnt really paying attention to the movie and had to go, I said to her "oh but come on the movie aint over yet!", her reply "got lectures soon blah blah, you should go to bed too", then I said "lunch on saturday", she nodded her head and told me to text her on saturday or sunday. I feel like that I have given her the power now, I have been in this exact situation before and it didn't end pretty. The girl in the other case, just kept blowing me off when I tried to meet up with her. I like this girl, so I dont mind dating her...but I guess if nothing happens I wouldn't be greatly upset, I am always talking to other girls, so will move on.
I dont know what to do. One half of me wants to be in a relationship, another half doesn't because I enjoy teasing women like this.
Nothing wrong with letting someone else have the 'power'. It can be liberating not to be in control sometimes.
Just chill out and see what happens - if she doesn't get back to you-never mind, but if you like her and she does want to meet up, then great!MissHero
Nothing wrong with letting someone else have the 'power'. It can be liberating not to be in control sometimes. Just chill out and see what happens - if she doesn't get back to you-never mind, but if you like her and she does want to meet up, then great!
Just chill out and see what happens - if she doesn't get back to you-never mind, but if you like her and she does want to meet up, then great!Met up with her today, went over to her flat. Charmed her and her flatmate, and basically she has agreed to go with me for lunch tommorrow. I told her that I will call her tommorrow to confirm it.
randomreg
Sounds good. So long as you didn't charm her flatmate quite as much as her!
ha ha - yeah it was funny.
I am a bit nervous today admittedly. I hope she doesnt just see me as a friend.
MissHero
Nothing wrong with letting someone else have the 'power'. It can be liberating not to be in control sometimes. Just chill out and see what happens - if she doesn't get back to you-never mind, but if you like her and she does want to meet up, then great!
Just chill out and see what happens - if she doesn't get back to you-never mind, but if you like her and she does want to meet up, then great!Nah they just take advantage by thinking your a nice guy and too timid; when really I am a bad boy missy
Related discussions
- Finding my Heritage
- Help I want to do dentistry but I don’t have the grades
- liverpool dentistry?
- Never see my boyfriend after his graduate scheme
- ST1/CT1 recruitment
- URGENT HELP! I used an Erasable pen for my exams.
- Imperial Admission test
- Eating and still being hungry
- I NEED HELP!! (US university’s)
- transfer unis?
- How likely am I to get an offer from UCL/LSE
- GCSES for cambridge Ecomomics
- Advice
- Snapchat memories not loading
- Degree apprenticeship question
- LSE MSc management waitlist 2023
- I am living a lie
- Doubtful existence of a grant.
- I like my flatmate who has a partner
- really lost
Latest
Trending
Last reply 4 weeks ago
How can I apply for university and get my letters without my parents finding outLast reply 1 month ago
Dealing with and keeping lies to my aggressive parentsLast reply 1 month ago
(Serious) How do I get rid of weird feelings with my boobs and femininity?Last reply 1 month ago
For those of you who have younger cousins or nieces and nephews why do you do this?Fitness
6
8
Last reply 1 month ago
People who claim to wash in 5mins aren’t showering properlyLast reply 1 month ago
2024 has been a horrible year for me overall and I just wanted your thoughtsLast reply 2 months ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.
