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Bit of a disaster really..

well I think it is and if any of this it TMI I'm really sorry.

Ok I'm 19 and have only ever slept with 1 guy (which my current boyfriend knows). Last night we both decided, together, that we were ready to sleep with each other, so my boyfriend spent a lot of time on foreplay, making sure I was ok, which I honestly thought I was. He asked me 3 times if I was ok and I kept replying yes. He noticed I was shaking and I said I wasn't, I was fine. So he said ok if you say so etc.

Anyway when it came to the actual sex bit he couldn't enter me because I was really tense and he didn't want to try and force in incase he hurt me. After about 5 times of trying the passion sorta lost the moment tbh and we gave up. It was then I realised my hand was shaking quite excessively so he wrapped my in his arms and said it was ok.

It just really frustrated me because it wasn't my first time and he spent so long on foreplay trying to make sure I was relaxed enough and I ruined it. I honestly really wanted to sleep with him. I kept apologising to him and he kept saying it didn't matter and it wasn't a big deal, sex wasn't the main priority to him and that he thinks we should wait.

I agreed and we fell asleep together. He didn't mention it this morning. And neither did I.

Guys, would this have been an issue to you?

And next time we do try, does anyone have any tips to make it easier? He kept saying I was really "tight" and that was why he couldn't do it. Seriously though, any tips?

Reply 1

supernova2

11

You werent relaxed enough obviously. Next time maybe use lube?

I dont think he'll be THAT bothered, itll be a bit of a pain but like you can always have a go at it tomorrow, the day after, the day after etc etc

Reply 2

SilverWings

14

Relaxxxxxxx mate. Seriously.

He sounds like a decent bloke.

Have a few drinks before you try next time ;yes;

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Aww thanks guys! I do like the having a drink first. I think maybe the first time I had sex there was no foreplay it was just down to business but yesterday there was and it was given me time to think and get worried.

Hmm, maybe I should go on top next time? or rather than him trying to enter me himself, i could hold him and guide him?

Reply 4

Fluent in Lies

2

Just keep trying and try not to worry. He doesn't mind, so don't worry about that, he just wants you to enjoy it too.

Reply 5

Create

2

Heya, your boyfriend sounds like a really nice guy :smile:

Try not to analyse it too much as you'll end up putting too much pressure on yourself, which will make it harder to relax. I would perhaps suggest you trying to take the lead a bit more? It might help you to feel a little more in control and will allow you to focus on something other than worrying about if you're shaking etc.

you'll get there, and don't worry if it takes more than a couple of goes, there's nothing wrong with that, and your boyfriend acted like any caring guy would do :smile:

Reply 6

ciara

13

Aw, don't build it up in your head and put so much pressure on yourself. It'll happen in time. Your boyfriend sounds lovely, don't worry about that. A drink is a good idea as well, but don't get wasted...you want to remember it in the morning! :wink:

Reply 7

Helenia

20

Anonymous

Aww thanks guys! I do like the having a drink first. I think maybe the first time I had sex there was no foreplay it was just down to business but yesterday there was and it was given me time to think and get worried.

Hmm, maybe I should go on top next time? or rather than him trying to enter me himself, i could hold him and guide him?

It might be worth a try, certainly.

The one thing I did notice is you said "HE spent ages on foreplay" - so it was basically him doing all the work and you lying back and partly enjoying it, partly getting secretly worried about what was coming next? Maybe I'm overanalysing, but perhaps if you were more...active in foreplay, just messing around together, turning each other on etc, rather than lying back until you were "ready," it might be easier?

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Helenia

It might be worth a try, certainly.

The one thing I did notice is you said "HE spent ages on foreplay" - so it was basically him doing all the work and you lying back and partly enjoying it, partly getting secretly worried about what was coming next? Maybe I'm overanalysing, but perhaps if you were more...active in foreplay, just messing around together, turning each other on etc, rather than lying back until you were "ready," it might be easier?

Yeah, I see where you're coming from. Because it was mainly him doing the work, well it was all him. lol!

I'll certainly try it next time. :smile:

Thank you everyone. You've put my mind at ease.

Bit of a disaster really..

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