Is it possible to be this unlucky in love?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
Between the ages of 21 and 24 I was in an abusive relationship with a guy who eventually had an emotional affair with another girl then cheated and got with her as soon as we broke up, and slept with her in the flat I was still living in.

Few months after that, I met a guy who I liked but just wanted sex and said I was attractive ,cool, funny etc. but he didn't feel a connection.

A few months ago, exactly the same thing but dragged on longer; the guy said he was very attracted to me and wanted to be fwb but he couldn't see a relationship working as I was too quiet and more into him than vice versa and again he 'hadn't felt the connection.'

Believe it or not, this happened two more times (though I didn't sleep with them, I realised pretty quickly they only wanted one thing)

Went on a few dates, one the guy was again clearly just looking for sex. The other guy I didn't feel a connection with and he seemed to look down his nose a bit at my family so I didn't feel like seeing him again.

Just now, been talking to a guy and met up a few times (as friends) suggested a date but he's just told me he only likes me as a friend.

I have tried online dating but it just really wasn't for me. Just couldn't be doing with the sexually explicit messages and messages that had clearly been copied and pasted to many girls.

I just never thought it would be so difficult. These guys I've mentioned in the past I've said i'm 'hot, pretty, great figure etc.' And I've been told I'm 'really nice, funny ,intelligent, everything to please'.

I've got a good education, hobbies, and I like to think I can have a reasonably intelligent conversation. These said guys told me they really enjoyed our conversation too and liked spending time with me and found me interesting.

Maybe I come on too strong.. With this latest guy I definitely hinted I was interested ,but he had been giving me signs too. I'm not into playing games and I'm rubbish at getting hard to get anyway.

I've got flaws; I know I lack confidence, I'm a little quiet, I'm sensitive, but everybody has flaws and I feel like some guys just want perfection.

I'm always friendzoned and I'm just losing confidence all the time.. I never thought dating would be so difficult.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just really fed-up. Does anybody have any advice at all, or feel the same? Thanks a lot
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Anonymous #1
#2
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#2
I go out clubbing occasionally but I never get approached by men in clubs; maybe a couple of looks but that's it.. I just can't be bothered even trying anymore because I'll just get friendzoned again lol..
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KFrostMU
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#3
Report 3 years ago
#3
I suggest you make friends with guys then ask em out. Online dating is s***. Just remember to not give up. Its not your fault, just some unfortunate people. Try and pick out these types of dudes before the bad stuff happen. Hope your pursuit of love goes well
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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Thanks, yeah you're right; I tried to be friends with this guy and then I suggested a date... then he's told me (today) that he only likes me as a friend so :s

I just think it must be my fault I maybe come on a little too strongly, but I don't know how to find the balance between showing interest and playing it cool, it's so bloody difficult lol..
I've made some bad choices in the past with regard to men, but this one for instance didn't seem that sort of all.

I just feel like giving up lol.. but thanks
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WelshDragon97
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#5
Report 3 years ago
#5
I have a similar problem! People don't seem to value eachother anymore and I wonder why I bother now. I usually get messed around by girls. I've been though a hell of a lot the last 3 years and I'm a bit insecure now and over think things a lot but keep it mostly bottled up and I put so much effort in and it just doesn't seem to get returned. And I hear the same thing all the time, that say the person I started talking to is like I've been messed around by so many guys and I find it hard to trust guys again etc and then they go and mess me around and start saying how much they like me and how I'm not like anyone else they've been with in the past etc and then decide I'm not what there looking for or I'm too nice or they need some time alone. Then they go and post statues about how much they've been messed around and then start flirting with other guys over social media after the week before they were accusing me of being out on the pull when I was with my mates having a few quiet drinks which they were asked if they wanted to come!? Sorry rant over, I'd rather if people were just honest with eachother rather than playing stupid games!
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