Parents...unreasonable?

(anon incase he reads please!)

Right, well i have been going out with a guy i met at college for two weeks now. Tomorrow evening i was going to see him and go for a meal and stuff. My Parents however are being complete jerks.

He lives about a 15 min train ride away. My Dad claims this is too far and he/I doesn't know the guy. Well the thing that makes me so mad is my sister had been with her boyf for 9 months now and he has met him once for about a min! So hardly knows him anyway. He says 'he could be a murderer' and all this crap he likes to talk. Im have to obey becasue i'm not 18 yet blah blah blah. I'm 18 next year ffs. He needs to get a grip. He was the same when My sister started going out with her boyfriend, except he doesn't live far away. he kept on saying he was going to get him beaten up when she came in a bit late(by my older half brother who we don't really talk to) , or kick her out. - They wouldn't have beat him up by the way...

He's all mouth really and likes to treat us like we are 14. I'm sick of him. Do you think he is being unreasonable an I should just go anyway. It just makes me mad because I have to go through all the crap of him hating me for agges afterwards, which i really haven't got the time or patience for.

We have already made our plans, you see. I'm not going to let him down,

Opinions / views on what i should do please.

Reply 1

dh00001

16

hes being concerned about you going on your own. going anyway would be unreasonable imo.
hes just a typical dad trying to look out for his kids. ask him for a lift?
or try and arrange something closer to home.

Reply 2

jinglepupskye

14

If your dad accepts your sister's boyfriend then why not suggest that they come with you? You could have a drink together, they would see he is okay and then you could go and have your meal. I can see that your dad is very worried but it's only cos he loves ya!

Reply 3

dumbdunc

Now doesn't every teenager feel like that at some point?

My sister has said similar things about my parents....and they're not really that bad! Although, its not boyfriends my mum has a problem with, its alcohol. Just learn how to get round him, find a compromise. Like him giving you a lift like someone said. Or get your bf to come round and pick you up, that way your dad can't claim he hasn't met him next time.

If the guy really likes you he'll be willing to do that. I've been dragged up before all my gf's dads, usually within a week of asking them out. Its scary as hell but once they know who you are etc. they stop being so restrictive.

That or you could've tried the tack of one girl I know. Lie about where you're going whenever you go out. Then he need never know your bf exists =P

Although I wouldn't advise it...eventually you'll get found out and then its not pretty...

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Yeah but the thing is. He is being unreasonable becasue;
1) He wouldn't give me a lift
2)He wouldn't want to meet him, and would refuse if I asked.

I know i sound like a 'typical teenager' but you have no idea how much of an idiot my Dad can be sometimes.

Reply 5

Jim-ie

14

Make your da have a beer with him.

Reply 6

*Tears and Butterflies*

2

Oh and i would lie....but don't want my Dad to hate him beacause of it.

I might be forced to though, and the thing is, I would tell them everything if they would just be reasonable.

I hate lying but they force me too because they never like anywhere i wan't to go.

I mean i have spent loads of time with him already. So I don't see the difference with just being a train ride away. How the hell does he expect me to ever meet anyone if I can't go anywhere with them justy incase they might be a mass murderer. That is seriously what he is like.

Reply 7

BlackHawk

17

No you shouldn't go anyway. It sounds like your having a childish tantrum over this when you Dad is looking out for you.

Have you said something to your Dad along the lines of: "I know you're worried about me meeting this guy, so how about you drop me off and I will introduce you? I'll have my mobile on me and me home by 10pm."

Of course if you've got a history of just doing what you want rather than listening to your parents then he probably has ever right to be concerned. You've already admitted you lie to your parents so why should they trust you?

Reply 8

dumbdunc

Yeah. If you've tried all that I'd say he was unreasonable...

And I didn't mean calling you a typical teenager as anything bad! I'm one too and I say the same things about my parents when they p*** me off!

My mum does this sometimes. She had a huge thing about me drinking alcohol, despite the fact I'm sixteen and have never given her reason to believe I'm irresponsible.

So as a result I go behind her back. Luckily she's also not great at recognising when I'm drunk hungover.

I'm definitely going to take my dad's less hypocritical approach if/when I'm a parent...

But I've digressed. I can't really see any way to get round it. Either you're going to dissapoint your bf, or make your dad mad and your life hell for a while...

I'm sure your bf would understand if you told him what's happened...

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

BlackHawk

No you shouldn't go anyway. It sounds like your having a childish tantrum over this when you Dad is looking out for you.

Have you said something to your Dad along the lines of: "I know you're worried about me meeting this guy, so how about you drop me off and I will introduce you? I'll have my mobile on me and me home by 10pm."

Of course if you've got a history of just doing what you want rather than listening to your parents then he probably has ever right to be concerned. You've already admitted you lie to your parents so why should they trust you?

Excuse me...did you not read my post. He would refuse to drop me and would also refuse to meet him. That is what he is like.

And I do not lie to my parents all the time. I have once agges ago. Anyway, it is not a case of trust but just a case of my Dad thinking my boyfriend might be 'a mass murderer or rapist' which frankly I think is quite ridiculous.

Reply 10

Wangers

16

Well to be fair, you've only been going out a whole of 2 weeks - its not as if you know his whole life history,wants and dreams....

I have a hunch that your dad isn't too chuffed at the prosect of you taking a train back on your own, when possibly drunk and c.10/11pm. Which I think is an entirely reasonable concern.

Yes we all say we're not drinking - and then start on the vodka about an hour later. I'm not saying your an alchie - but it does happen, so don't bite his head off for it. Alternatively - can your bf drop you off? Can his 'rents put you up, or maybe get him to walk you back?

Reply 11

Olga:))

Hmm, what explanation does your Dad give when refusing to meet him? Try to be a nice girl and say that you would really love your Dad getting to know the guys you spend your time with!

Reply 12

BlackHawk

17

Anonymous

Excuse me...did you not read my post. He would refuse to drop me and would also refuse to meet him. That is what he is like.

And I do not lie to my parents all the time. I have once agges ago. Anyway, it is not a case of trust but just a case of my Dad thinking my boyfriend might be 'a mass murderer or rapist' which frankly I think is quite ridiculous.

I can only go by what you post. You said in a previous post that you lie.

I hate lying but they force me too because they never like anywhere i wan't to go.

That doesn't sound like it was once.

You can hardly fault your parents for not placing their faith in you, or the choices you make. You father is looking out for you because he cares for you.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Wangers

Can his 'rents put you up, ?

Ha...it would be completely absurd for me to suggest staying at his. I wouldn't be able to do that untill I was 18 even if I was i a long term relationship. Even then they wouldn't be happy about it.

Reply 14

Profesh

20

Reality check: if you've yet to meet, then you aren't 'going out' at all.

Reply 15

ForeverIsMyName

15

Why don't you invite him over to yours so he can meet your dad, and have a meal there? Much better, and works out for the future too.

Reply 16

username47781

20

At the end of the day he's looking out for you and you are living under his roof, I think you are being a little rude to the advice you are being offered.