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I am in love with my friend.
His girlfriend however poses a problem.
They have been having troubles for months now and well, I've always been the shoulder to cry on and I'm sick of it.
A few weeks ago after a night out, everything came out about how I like him and I told him I'm happy for him as long as he is happy but right now it's a head ****.
She knows I like him and he likes me and now we aren't allowed to speak to each other, it feels like my leg has been cut off. I never knew how much I relied on him, we've spoken everyday for the last year.
I want him to be with me, but in all honesty I'd love for him to be happy with her which isn't happening. So what can I do?
It's like he keeps dropping hints that he wants to be with me but he won't leave her...
I just feel so...alone? Heartbroken?
I miss him. What can I do?
Please don't deanon (I'd rather you delete as he is on here.).
They have been having troubles for months now and well, I've always been the shoulder to cry on and I'm sick of it.
A few weeks ago after a night out, everything came out about how I like him and I told him I'm happy for him as long as he is happy but right now it's a head ****.
She knows I like him and he likes me and now we aren't allowed to speak to each other, it feels like my leg has been cut off. I never knew how much I relied on him, we've spoken everyday for the last year.
I want him to be with me, but in all honesty I'd love for him to be happy with her which isn't happening. So what can I do?
It's like he keeps dropping hints that he wants to be with me but he won't leave her...
I just feel so...alone? Heartbroken? I miss him. What can I do?
Please don't deanon (I'd rather you delete as he is on here.).
Scroll to see replies
Sadly there is absolutely nothing you can do really other than be a friend to him, if he says it is that bad with his girlfriend then he really ought to leave her. Unfortunatly some guys say they will leave their girlfriends but some don't so be prepared, he might not.
Even if he did you need to give him a little time to get over it.
Even if he did you need to give him a little time to get over it.
That's the thing, I don't know what hurts more... he is unhappy with her, or I could never be with him.
I just don't think I can be there for him any more, I feel way too ****ed up to be dealing with other peoples problems as well as mine, but it was the way I was brought up to put other people before yourself.
I just don't think I can be there for him any more, I feel way too ****ed up to be dealing with other peoples problems as well as mine, but it was the way I was brought up to put other people before yourself.
Well you cannot possibly put up with other people's problems all the time, not suggesting you be selfish but there are times where you do have to worry about yourself.
But either he can't make his mind up, or it isn't as bad as he is suggesting and maybe he just wants his cake to eat it i.e. he wants you but also wants to carry on seeing his girlfriend.
But either he can't make his mind up, or it isn't as bad as he is suggesting and maybe he just wants his cake to eat it i.e. he wants you but also wants to carry on seeing his girlfriend.
PM me if you want to talk I know EXACTLY how you feel.
Literally I could have written that post, in fact go back in time and I did
Literally I could have written that post, in fact go back in time and I did
I_am_the_mob
PM me if you want to talk I know EXACTLY how you feel.
Literally I could have written that post, in fact go back in time and I did
Literally I could have written that post, in fact go back in time and I did
Ditto
This happened to me, and nearly a year on and the guy and girl are still with eachother 
I just don't think he has the guts to break it off.Well I emailed him two days ago, and the lack of reply clearly means he has gone for the 'pretend I don't exist to please her' route.
Just miss being his friend
Just miss being his friend
PM me I can help!
I just can't post it here
I just can't post it here
Wow, I was in this exact same situation. And on a positive note, he split up with his girlfriend and we've been together 6 months so far. Honestly, don't let yourself get so upset by it, I know it's not easy. But things will work out one way or another, it's just the horrible limbo that I found so hard.
~~hannah~~
Wow, I was in this exact same situation. And on a positive note, he split up with his girlfriend and we've been together 6 months so far. Honestly, don't let yourself get so upset by it, I know it's not easy. But things will work out one way or another, it's just the horrible limbo that I found so hard.
Wow it's funny to think how many people are just like this!
Good for you Hannah
"Limbo" that's the word I use too
Rock Fan
Well you cannot possibly put up with other people's problems all the time, not suggesting you be selfish but there are times where you do have to worry about yourself.
But either he can't make his mind up, or it isn't as bad as he is suggesting and maybe he just wants his cake to eat it i.e. he wants you but also wants to carry on seeing his girlfriend.
But either he can't make his mind up, or it isn't as bad as he is suggesting and maybe he just wants his cake to eat it i.e. he wants you but also wants to carry on seeing his girlfriend.
Indeed sometimes the Birling No.1 approach can get you out of troble. Trust your instincts.
I was like this except stuff happened where I did silly things you haven't and then he went back to her. I feel like I was just erased from his life. He's moved in with his girlfriend now. They decided to after she found out he'd been seeing me behind her back.
Sucks to get your heartbroke *huge hugs for you*
Sucks to get your heartbroke *huge hugs for you*
What 'silly things' did you do if you don't mind me asking?
Anonymous
What 'silly things' did you do if you don't mind me asking?
I'm assuming she means sexual things
Yeh I did. He told me he loved me and was going to split up with her and we were soulmates but he didn't want to break her heart so he was going to do it over time and I happily went to bed with him believing every word like it was the gospel.
I wasn't saying I was the same I was empathising with the OP because no matter why if you love someone you can't have it really bloody hurts.
I wasn't saying I was the same I was empathising with the OP because no matter why if you love someone you can't have it really bloody hurts.
You do believe every word *nods*
Awww ro_ro
That's terrible! He deserves... grrrr lol
Awww ro_ro
That's terrible! He deserves... grrrr lol
I see it as I'm best shot. It just makes me sad everyone used to say that we were perfect together, people that didn't know about it would say you go with him better than his girlfriend and we used to call each other pea cos we were two peas in a pod. Except it was all a lie. Oh well, these things happen.
Thanks for the hug if I could do smileys I'd give you a smiley one back but heres a *hug* instead.
Thanks for the hug if I could do smileys I'd give you a smiley one back but heres a *hug* instead.
ro-ro
I see it as I'm best shot. It just makes me sad everyone used to say that we were perfect together, people that didn't know about it would say you go with him better than his girlfriend and we used to call each other pea cos we were two peas in a pod. Except it was all a lie. Oh well, these things happen.
Thanks for the hug if I could do smileys I'd give you a smiley one back but heres a *hug* instead.
Thanks for the hug if I could do smileys I'd give you a smiley one back but heres a *hug* instead.
That's quite alright
I'm sure you will find someone who deserves you as he clearly doesn't
I'm going to not try and contact him for two weeks, it's hard. I keep starting to write him emails/texts and having to stop myself sending them.
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