The Student Room Group

Can't be bothered with sex

Ok I've been with my boyfriend for two years but for these past like five months I'm really just not interested in sex. I don't know what it is! But anytime he tries to get something going it just annoys me cos it's too much hassle. But eventually I give in cos I feel guilty. It's not like my boyfriend's bad at it or anything I love recieving but when it comes to full sex I just feel like...blah you know.
I think one of the problems may be that it still hurts even though we've been having sex for over a year we've tried lube and still quite ouchy. Also I got the implant in July so maybe that's had an effect on it.

I don't really know what to do cos I love my boyfriend but not the sex- any advice?
i had this with a past boyfriend of mine.

You know you lay in bed and his hands wander and all you can think is 'oh for god sake why now?'

been there.

maybe its worth talking to your doctor and findng out if this implant has anything to do with it. Talk to your boyfriend aswell... don't force yourself to do anything otherwise you could end up resenting your guy and it's not his fault.

try starting things really slowly, it could be that your not excited enough, if you get to a point where you don't want to take things further, tell him. There's plenty of other things you can do without having full sex.
Talk to him about it, could be a number of reasons why he isn't up for it.
Rock Fan
Talk to him about it, could be a number of reasons why he isn't up for it.


She's the one who isn't up for it, isn't it..?

I should stop skim-reading posts...
BornUnderPunches
She's the one who isn't up for it, isn't it..?

I should stop skim-reading posts...


Ah bugger, didn't read that post at all I should go to bed.

To the OP could well be the implant had an affect on your sex drive.
Reply 5
BornUnderPunches
She's the one who isn't up for it, isn't it..?

I should stop skim-reading posts...


I think it's a guy...
if he really cared about you, he wouldnt be so worried about it.
Reply 7
The issue here is purely communication with your boyfriend..

Worst thing is you can do is to "give up" and go through with it, because it can damage you internally if you're not in the correct mood from what I know (don't quote me on that lol) but it has a longer term effect.

The thing is you may not be in the right mood and may need to do more to exite yourself or purely just talk to your boyfriend about it. Take progressive steps to ensuring your comfortable with whatever you do and keep talking to him and stop if you feel that its not what you want..

Communication is the key, and if he cares about you as others have said.. he should understand :-)

Good luck...

N89
Reply 8
It still hurts? Maybe you're in the wrong position. Is he quite well-endowed?
punktopia
I think it's a guy...


a guy with an implant? hmm :p:
blackswan
if he really cared about you, he wouldnt be so worried about it.


That is so stupid, sex is a normal part of a relationship, and if she used to enjoy it and now she's just lost interest then its perfectly understandable that her boyfriend would be worried about it.
Reply 11
This another thing that bugs me, carrying on from another post in another thread. Girls lose interest after a while and people say "if the guy really loves you he won't care". I've been there before. Of course i still loved the girl but when you don't get any action what the **** are you to do?
I actually broke up with a girl at this point, call me shallow all you like...no matter how good the relationship is, if the girl suddenly decides sex is a no no...are you supposed to just not have it ever? Especially at a young age, it's rediculous.
So you wouldnt say in an average adult relationship, sex is a normal thing to be going on? :confused: Ive not said couples cant get on without sex, but you would have thought if they had been having a more or less normal sex life for over a year and then it stops then her boyfriend wouldnt be a bad person for worrying about that..
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 13
randomgirl
a guy with an implant? hmm :p:


Strange things happen on this forum.
Reply 14
sex is like something really intimate and close no? isnt what your describing more like friendship?
(edited 4 years ago)
Reply 15
To those who are saying that sex doesn't matter,I have to say, I would probably start wondering if I was the guy. I think sex is very important in a relationship, tbh, I'd start to get a bit antsy if my bf went off sex suddenly.
But maybe I'm just a nympho :s

It could well be something to do with the implant-they do sometimes have side effects such as loss of libido.
Anonymous
Ok I've been with my boyfriend for two years but for these past like five months I'm really just not interested in sex. I don't know what it is! But anytime he tries to get something going it just annoys me cos it's too much hassle. But eventually I give in cos I feel guilty. It's not like my boyfriend's bad at it or anything I love recieving but when it comes to full sex I just feel like...blah you know.
I think one of the problems may be that it still hurts even though we've been having sex for over a year we've tried lube and still quite ouchy. Also I got the implant in July so maybe that's had an effect on it.

I don't really know what to do cos I love my boyfriend but not the sex- any advice?


Is the implant the first time you've used hormonal contraception? I found that both the pill and the injection had a pretty negative effect on my sex drive, so it could well be to do with that. Do you ever get turned on by anything at all? Or is it just that your boyfriend isn't doing it for you?

It's certainly not good for sex to still hurt every time after a year. Have you ever found penetrative sex enjoyable and not painful? When you do have penetrative sex, are you really aroused? If you aren't, and don't really want it, then it is quite likely to hurt.

If I were in your situation, I'd probably go to the doctor, and mention both the painful sex and the loss of interest, and the implant.

To those people of the opinion that a man is a bad person if he is upset by his girlfriend not wanting sex, I would say stop being silly. I'd not be a happy little ray of sunshine myself if my (hypothetical) boyfriend were to lose interest. A relationship without physical intimacy is just friendship (though a friendship with physical intimacy isn't necessarily a relationship - but now I'm just confusing myself).
Is this a relationship between two guys?