So I broke up with my girlfriend

We had been going out for nearly 13 months. I had suddenly started having doubts. She was always telling me how much she loved me, and I always thought like, I didn't feel as strongly for her, and I thought it was out of order for me to carry it on. She was always asking me to become more involved with her family, and I didnt want to, because it would just complicate things (both of us in last year of sixth form, not applying to any of the same unis).

So after some heavy consultation with a couple of my mates, I decided to break it off. I told her, and she was quite understanding, like too understanding. Then she asked me what she had done wrong, and I actually teared up, and yet she was completely normal. She gave me a lift home and we said goodbye. That night she went to a party, and texted me saying it had hit her, and that she couldnt force me to love her, but she loved me completely and she was upset.
And all night I've been feeling terrible anyway, I had dreams about her all night, everything reminds me of her, and I dont want to take down the framed photo of me and her.

What the hell is going on

Reply 1

username47781

20

Well to be honest if you didn't feel the same way then it would have been more cruel to have carried on going out with her. A relationship can't work if both people don't feel the same.

Reply 2

petrolhead

"What the hell is going on"

I think only you can answer that. though to me it sounds like you love her more than you realise. i think u need to sort out for yourself how you feel about her

Reply 3

Sprockette

15

I'm in exactly that position except I'm the gf...and I am so confused!? I don't think he's too sure either.
But I guess it's the right thing for you guys as if you're not sure now and you'll be moving away, then it probably wouldn't work in another few months anyway...

Reply 4

The Solitary Reaper

9

Rock Fan

Well to be honest if you didn't feel the same way then it would have been more cruel to have carried on going out with her. A relationship can't work if both people don't feel the same.

You actually believe EVERY working relationship inolves symmetry of emotion?

And for OP, you have an emotional attachment to her. I would hazard to guess you care about each other a similar-ish amount but her feelings are more romantic/passionate whilst oyurs is more of a bond. If you are sure of your feelings you'll just have to get over it. Do NOT mess her about.

Reply 5

username47781

20

Samuel R

You actually believe EVERY working relationship inolves symmetry of emotion?

And for OP, you have an emotional attachment to her. I would hazard to guess you care about each other a similar-ish amount but her feelings are more romantic/passionate whilst oyurs is more of a bond. If you are sure of your feelings you'll just have to get over it. Do NOT mess her about.

Well if one person doesn't feel the same then surely it will only lead to problems.

Reply 6

The Solitary Reaper

9

Rock Fan

Well if one person doesn't feel the same then surely it will only lead to problems.

Sorry, I don't agree with a black/white "love/not love" view at all; emotions are a lot more complicated than that - I don't think it is possible for people to 'feel the same'. Feelings and relationships are intenseley personal and to suggest that there is simply a set of distinct states whereby when one person's state matches another's they are "in love", and that this is what avoids 'problems' seems bizarre to me.

Reply 7

Sephirona

18

Thats life. She would have done the same thing (if she were in your shoes).

So I broke up with my girlfriend

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