How do you- or did you- cope with bullying?
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....I didn't
Basically changed my whole lifestyle: before the bullying I was outgoing, loud and just a bundle of energy in the classroom but when I moved school I got a lot of abuse. I used to come home crying most days, kids at my school used to shout paki, shitface, 'go back to your country', and other terror-related stuff at me almost every week. Eventually my self-confidence was so low that I couldn't make proper friends or speak to people like I used to. Luckily, I was introduced to books and found something that made me feel fulfilled. I was the little fat brown girl at my school returning 12 books to the library every month (plus all the studying and revision I was doing) - I used to read 10am to like 11pm at night (just lie in bed and not stop, unless it was to eat lol).
It helped me cope with how with not having many close friends and so it in a way it saved my sanity. I used to read a lot about theology/ideology related books and in S3 wrote an essay that would've got an A at higher.
Sadly, these days I'm too caught up in revision and don't have much time but if there's anyone out there needing something to cling on to, I highly recommend books.
It helped me cope with how with not having many close friends and so it in a way it saved my sanity. I used to read a lot about theology/ideology related books and in S3 wrote an essay that would've got an A at higher.
Sadly, these days I'm too caught up in revision and don't have much time but if there's anyone out there needing something to cling on to, I highly recommend books.
Not very well. Being repetitively told I was ugly and worthless made me and still makes me think less of myself than I probably should. It actually caused me to develop trichotillomania as a sort of coping mechanism for the relentless insults, I guess it was almost self harm in a way. The problem with developing something like this is it becomes habit, it's been about 5 years since the bullying stopped but I still have the trichotillomania and my self esteem has been crushed. Thankfully I have always had incredible friends who made going to school enjoyable for the most part so my friends are the reason I could cope with the bullying.
Back in Kashmir I was the only white girl (Kashmiris are usually white but somehow in my district everyone wasn't) and I would get bullied a lot by others because they would say that I am not true Kashmiri and that the women in my family were raped by British men or Afghans hence why I'm white. I was reallllly young back then and I actually thought I'm a fake Kashmiri.
It didn't really affect me, I felt shame because I actually thought that I'm of a rape product but afterwards I moved to a different school and everyone loved me there. And I loved them.
It didn't really affect me, I felt shame because I actually thought that I'm of a rape product but afterwards I moved to a different school and everyone loved me there. And I loved them.
I either beat them up or ignored them.
In my first school I got into a lot of fights, eventually everyone was scared of me and stopped being annoying. Moved schools in year 10 and I was too lazy to make friends and kept to myself. I did beat up a couple people that bullied me but got threatened with exclusion so I couldn't stand up for myself. After that the bullying got horrific lmao.
Didn't care that much. Tbh it didn't really affect me lol. I just listened to music during the school day. Got home and played video games. Won tournaments and moneyz. Didn't give a **** what happened in school.
I ended up being affected by other things not related to the bullying. A combination of a bunch of different stuff ended up making me depressed I think. Mostly family issues and the house being 'haunted', making me paranoid. Lack of sleep for a really long time must have messed my brain up.
In my first school I got into a lot of fights, eventually everyone was scared of me and stopped being annoying. Moved schools in year 10 and I was too lazy to make friends and kept to myself. I did beat up a couple people that bullied me but got threatened with exclusion so I couldn't stand up for myself. After that the bullying got horrific lmao.
Didn't care that much. Tbh it didn't really affect me lol. I just listened to music during the school day. Got home and played video games. Won tournaments and moneyz. Didn't give a **** what happened in school.
I ended up being affected by other things not related to the bullying. A combination of a bunch of different stuff ended up making me depressed I think. Mostly family issues and the house being 'haunted', making me paranoid. Lack of sleep for a really long time must have messed my brain up.
(edited 6 years ago)
Bullying just makes me so sad. It's so unnecessary and yet it can effect people so much and for so long.
I was bullied at school by the girls that were supposed to be my best friends. So when they fell out with me and said mean things it meant I was alone as I didn't have any friends left. Because they were my 'friends' they had met my family and as a result also used to say mean things about them - which just crushed me. When they decided to be my friends again I was so desperate to be included I would do anything. It makes me cringe to think about it but I was young, not the most confident and just wanted a quiet life and I thought that was the way to do it.
When I got my first boyfriend in secondary school, none of my friends liked him because he used to date another girl in our group so they all fell out with me. One Friday night I had what felt like most of my village outside my front door asking for me to come out so they could beat me up. Obviously my family didn't let me out the house and threatened to call the police so they all left. My boyfriend at the time stuck by me through that. Eventually it all died down but at the time it was scary and lonely. I dreaded going to school. The school tried to help but as the bullies families were dysfunctional they got very little support, and I'm a big believer that such behaviours start at home.
I moved away to attend college because I just wanted a fresh start to make the life I wanted for myself. I then went further away for university and finally moved to the other side of country where I live now. I think the bullying and history I had in the village I grew up in had a large part to play in that.
However from my late teens I started to be more confident in who I was and where I was going. I made some really good friends in college, who made me realise that there are nice people out there that genuinely like me for who I am. I like to think I'm a lot more reasonable now and I try and see things from other points of view. I try and think about what the bully must have been going through to be so cruel to another person. To need to make others feel bad to make themselves feel better and more important.
At 28 years old, planning my wedding and just purchased my first house with my fiance, I can honestly say that the bullying doesn't matter to me anymore. I have risen above it and I genuinely believe I have been stronger for it. Who knows who I would be and where I would be without it. If I hadn't moved away, I would never have met my fiance and he is by far the best thing in my life along with my family. So (dare I say it!?!) maybe I owe something to them! Of course I wish I could have got to where I am now without the damage of my childhood but I'm so happy it's almost irrelevant.
My advice to anyone being bullied is don't give up. I promise that life does get better. People grow up and they mature. I don't know if there is necessarily a wrong way to deal with bullies (obviously without taking it too far). Some prefer to run away and hide, like I did. Others prefer to stand and fight. I think you have the right to deal with them in whichever way it best and easiest for you. But don't give up. Don't let them win. All life is so precious and you have the right to live a happy life. You will make a success of yourself eventually and whether your experience of bullying pushes you to make a better life for yourself, or whether it makes all of your dreams more difficult, it doesn't matter because you will get there no matter what. The harder you have to work for it, the sweeter it will be in the end.
Please don't give up. Talk to people. There is ALWAYS someone out there for you.
I was bullied at school by the girls that were supposed to be my best friends. So when they fell out with me and said mean things it meant I was alone as I didn't have any friends left. Because they were my 'friends' they had met my family and as a result also used to say mean things about them - which just crushed me. When they decided to be my friends again I was so desperate to be included I would do anything. It makes me cringe to think about it but I was young, not the most confident and just wanted a quiet life and I thought that was the way to do it.
When I got my first boyfriend in secondary school, none of my friends liked him because he used to date another girl in our group so they all fell out with me. One Friday night I had what felt like most of my village outside my front door asking for me to come out so they could beat me up. Obviously my family didn't let me out the house and threatened to call the police so they all left. My boyfriend at the time stuck by me through that. Eventually it all died down but at the time it was scary and lonely. I dreaded going to school. The school tried to help but as the bullies families were dysfunctional they got very little support, and I'm a big believer that such behaviours start at home.
I moved away to attend college because I just wanted a fresh start to make the life I wanted for myself. I then went further away for university and finally moved to the other side of country where I live now. I think the bullying and history I had in the village I grew up in had a large part to play in that.
However from my late teens I started to be more confident in who I was and where I was going. I made some really good friends in college, who made me realise that there are nice people out there that genuinely like me for who I am. I like to think I'm a lot more reasonable now and I try and see things from other points of view. I try and think about what the bully must have been going through to be so cruel to another person. To need to make others feel bad to make themselves feel better and more important.
At 28 years old, planning my wedding and just purchased my first house with my fiance, I can honestly say that the bullying doesn't matter to me anymore. I have risen above it and I genuinely believe I have been stronger for it. Who knows who I would be and where I would be without it. If I hadn't moved away, I would never have met my fiance and he is by far the best thing in my life along with my family. So (dare I say it!?!) maybe I owe something to them! Of course I wish I could have got to where I am now without the damage of my childhood but I'm so happy it's almost irrelevant.
My advice to anyone being bullied is don't give up. I promise that life does get better. People grow up and they mature. I don't know if there is necessarily a wrong way to deal with bullies (obviously without taking it too far). Some prefer to run away and hide, like I did. Others prefer to stand and fight. I think you have the right to deal with them in whichever way it best and easiest for you. But don't give up. Don't let them win. All life is so precious and you have the right to live a happy life. You will make a success of yourself eventually and whether your experience of bullying pushes you to make a better life for yourself, or whether it makes all of your dreams more difficult, it doesn't matter because you will get there no matter what. The harder you have to work for it, the sweeter it will be in the end.
Please don't give up. Talk to people. There is ALWAYS someone out there for you.
(edited 6 years ago)
I have been bullied since I was able to socialise, at first it got tome and I cried a lot but now my method of coping is knowing it wont last forever and one day I may be saving their lives as a nurse
. No I don't owe them but I can "kill them with kindness" I have just kept my head down and let them get bored.
I used to get quite angry and I'd storm out of the lesson but I realised it made me more of a target.
. No I don't owe them but I can "kill them with kindness" I have just kept my head down and let them get bored.I used to get quite angry and I'd storm out of the lesson but I realised it made me more of a target.
Meh, I get bullied all the time but I don't blame em. Have you seen me!?
I made someone who tried to bully me cry like a little girl
if you're being bullied go hit the weights room at the gym and also do some boxing. No one will mess with you if they know you can **** them up.
I was bullied a little through out high school for having speech impediments. At the start of high school my 'friends' would laugh at me and mock me about it, and treated me like dirt. I then decided to avoid saying any words at all at school which my speech impediment would interfere with, which was all good until class presentations and reading from the book where I'd just have to endure the stifled laughter from almost half of the class. I felt so incredibly anxious and every time I had to talk aloud in front of the class or out of the book it felt like I was having a heart attack. This still happened in Year 11, despite everybody in the class being friendly with me all of the time, so it was a weird situation.
Thankfully I managed to fix my speech impediments after Year 11 (thanks YouTube!) so by the time I started sixth form I had gained so much confidence that I never had before and I felt like I was able to interact properly in person for the first time in years. I still don't have all of my confidence (public speaking is still slightly worrying), but I'm almost at my peak.
I just wish that I fixed my speech impediments earlier so I could have had a better high school experience. I did still enjoy it though, many great memories and stuff.
Edit: Just a bit of a note that I have so much sympathy for those suffering with speech impediments. You can't imagine how hard it makes every single day unless you have one yourself, feeling anxious to speak at all and also feeling anxious that people are judging you constantly. Even the smallest of comments can really hurt, so I hope people soon realise how sensitive of an issue it is for most people.
Thankfully I managed to fix my speech impediments after Year 11 (thanks YouTube!) so by the time I started sixth form I had gained so much confidence that I never had before and I felt like I was able to interact properly in person for the first time in years. I still don't have all of my confidence (public speaking is still slightly worrying), but I'm almost at my peak.
I just wish that I fixed my speech impediments earlier so I could have had a better high school experience. I did still enjoy it though, many great memories and stuff.
Edit: Just a bit of a note that I have so much sympathy for those suffering with speech impediments. You can't imagine how hard it makes every single day unless you have one yourself, feeling anxious to speak at all and also feeling anxious that people are judging you constantly. Even the smallest of comments can really hurt, so I hope people soon realise how sensitive of an issue it is for most people.
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by ayyy2
if you're being bullied go hit the weights room at the gym and also do some boxing. No one will mess with you if they know you can **** them up.
Exactly. I broke a bully's nose when I was at school and he cried like a little girl
Guess what? Didn't bother me after that.
I was bullied because I was a introvert who preferred to read books rather than spend time around loud mouthed idiots who only told sex and fart jokes. I didn't cope with it at first. It caused me to get depression. I got bullied even more for being depressed as my depression made me cry a lot.
Eventually, I just blocked their voices out with my IPod. When they would start trying to bully me I would drown their voices out with jazz music and heavy metal. They left me alone, deciding my unresponsiveness was not fun for them.
In order for bullying to work, bullies depend upon their victims to respond. If you refuse to acknowledge their existence they lose their power over you.
Eventually, I just blocked their voices out with my IPod. When they would start trying to bully me I would drown their voices out with jazz music and heavy metal. They left me alone, deciding my unresponsiveness was not fun for them.
In order for bullying to work, bullies depend upon their victims to respond. If you refuse to acknowledge their existence they lose their power over you.
I am sorry to you and to everyone who has been bullied for what you have been through. What I think is that it is a reflection on the bullies, not those who they bully! Stay strong, as you are all so so valuable and precious ❤️ xxxx
By keeping a smile on my face alll the way through it.
I didn't properly cope though, ofc. There's always other things going on in life and this pulled me to the edge.
I didn't properly cope though, ofc. There's always other things going on in life and this pulled me to the edge.
I ignored them completely. If someone tried to look good in front of the class by trying to make me look bad and like an idiot, I would just tell them either to grow up or ignore them and continue talking to my friends.
I was bullied a lot in year 7 by just one low life bully who was actually smaller than me! One day I was in the changing room in PE, the bully came to me and then grabbed my hair and started spitting on me and punching me, I tried run after him but guess what? He fled like the pussy he was but unfortunately that didn't stop him from him bullying me more, I was too scared to fight back even tho I was actually taller than my bully, I was literally crying and everyone else in the changing room just went silent and minded their own business, after lunch I was just crying while going in the field then everyone from my year group went up to me to know what happened, I told them what happened and thought that they will laugh at me or just intimidate me but no, they went away and looked for the bully then the next I know was that the people from my year group cornered the bully and bullied HIM, I couldn't believe my eyes they actually beat him up for me, after year 7 the bully left and things started to go good. It just shows there are a lot of good people out there and bullies will lose somehow.
