The Student Room Group

Very Insecure About BF....Don't Know Why

I've just come to the full realization that I am very insecure about my boyfriend and I. We've been going out about 5 months, but latley I find myself acting all nervous that he'll 'find someone better' and leave me :frown:. Like I'm just not 'good enough' for him.

How do I stop these thoughts and get over my own insecurities? I know that in the begining my worries were mainly because he would talk so often about this girl whom he said was 'his first love', which got me right upset! He rarley if ever talks about her anymore, but I guess that I've just now developed an irrational fear about the whole thing. Help....He has also told me straight to my face that he is'nt interested in anyone else.

I wish that I did'nt worry so much...him leaving me in the blink of an eye. I do fear that my own insecurities will eventually have some negative impact on our relationship. Already once I've tried to break up with him (unsuccesfully) because I thought that it would be better to 'hurt now', rather than a month or two down the road. Silly I know :redface:

Any tips on what I can do to be more positive/self-assured....highly helpful
Reply 1
You could talk to him again. Allow him to reassure you (though make sure he knows it's not because of anything he's done wrong!) - a problem shared is a problem halved and all that.

It's really important to sort this, so that your worry that he'll leave you doesn't become so great that it takes over your relationship and results in...well, him leaving you :wink: It's a vicious circle y'see.
Strangely enough, Im insecure bout my g/f, shes just started uni, and wen my last girlfriend went to uni, she finished me! So I no how ya feel with insecurity, been feeling down at the moment, and its just a case of saying, nothing has changed, they still text and ring, still tell you they love you and that, unfortunately if its not meant to be its not meant to be, just got to give it chance tho, imo neway!
Look at it this way, he is with you because he wants you.
Reply 4
Rock Fan
Look at it this way, he is with you because he wants you.

this is very true. you can only convince yourself. he must be with you for a reason :smile:
dont go thinking that they will leave you for someone better as it only raises trust issues and will ultimatly drive a wedge between you.
concentrate on the good and take every day as it comes. why worry about something if there are no real signs of it happening
Reply 5
Insecurity is common, just don't act on it (don't be possesive if you can help it). If he is with you it's because he wants to be!

I still get insecure and i've been with my fiance nearly 2 years. It's just a natural defence thing, especially if you've been hurt before!

Just breathe through it, and possibly talk to your other haf, point out you know you're possibly being silly but that reasurance helps, and i'm sure he'll oblige!
Reply 6
Don't start proffessing your love - short of informing him that you're pregnant thats the quickest way to get a guy to run out the door....
Reply 7
Whoever neg-repped me - I meant it as a general comment....
Reply 8
I hate when people get neg rep'd for something which really isnt stupid at all..

id agree with Wangers actually..

i just got neg repped for saying satanism was illogical.. ffs..some people