The Student Room Group
Reply 1
tourist
My LDR has recently gone short distance. Ironically whilst it's been something I've been looking forward to for months I've been finding it pretty difficult to adapt to.

I guess after 3 years dating long distance we've got used to that routine and haven't really established a new one yet.

I was just wondering if anyone else has been through something similar and found it not to be as perfect as you thought it might?


I'm in an LDR now, so I don't really have any advice to give you, but i guess it probably is like you said, that you haven't got used to living close to eachother.. Or do you live together??? What exactly is it that you're finding hard??
Reply 2
We're not living together, just in the same city.

I think it's the fact that we don't keep in such good contact as when we couldn't see each other for a few weeks at a time and that previously it used to be a case of "I want to see you every day of the week but we just can't" whereas now we technically could but don't because life gets in the way. So it feels very different.
Reply 3
tourist
We're not living together, just in the same city.

I think it's the fact that we don't keep in such good contact as when we couldn't see each other for a few weeks at a time and that previously it used to be a case of "I want to see you every day of the week but we just can't" whereas now we technically could but don't because life gets in the way. So it feels very different.


Yeah, I can imagine it being quite different... Maybe you should just decide on times where the two of you hang out or sth??? I guess you used to spend quite a lot of time talking to eachother online/ on the phone before, so you would have some time for that, wouldn't you??!

And when you were apart, didn't you ever talk about things you wanted to do together? If so, now is the time to do them!!
Reply 4
tourist
We're not living together, just in the same city.

I think it's the fact that we don't keep in such good contact as when we couldn't see each other for a few weeks at a time and that previously it used to be a case of "I want to see you every day of the week but we just can't" whereas now we technically could but don't because life gets in the way. So it feels very different.

I see what you mean - you've both been used to having your own lives for large periods of time and now you feel like you should just be with each other, as that's what you felt you wanted for all the time you were long-distance.

The key is a mixture of planned stuff and spontaneity, I think. Both of you have other commitments and you shouldn't drop them all just because you're in a relationship. So you need to plan seeing each other around that - whether it's for a fancy date or just to hang out and watch TV together. On the other hand, if you know the other half doesn't have anything on that evening, and you just feel like seeing them, the great joy is you can do just that! Just call them up and go over. As long as you have some idea of what each other's main plans are, you can work round it.
*waves*

I went from being in a very short distance relationship, to not having anyone, to being in a LDR. The two year SDR was a farce, and left me very hurt. I kind of decided that I needed to be "free" and didn't want to get too close to anyone for a while, or see too much of someone. Being single(ish) was messy, and I ended up making a bunch of mistakes so was quite happy when my current boyfriend came along and could ground me a bit. However, I was still wary of being close to him and of being pinned down. Gradually we saw more and more of each other, and for a while I was a bit uncomfortable. I wanted to spend lots of time alone, and just do my own thing . . . but after a fantastic holiday away with him, I decided that seeing LOTS of each other was great! We ended up almost living together, as he spent so much time at my place, and now we are at university together.

Loving it =)