Is there any Shame in Losing to a 10 Year Old Girl in Jiu Jitsu as a Fully Grown Man?

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Talk to my trainer about my insecurity? He's a tough macho black belt, not a therapist! He already gave me advice on how to counter at the time.

Well, I mean the question kind of is about getting emotional consolation in a way. I'm not like like trying to get pity or something, I just want to know if in BJJ, it's shaming to lose to a 10 year old girl.

I'm like 1 and a half feet taller than her and well over double her age. Surely that should overcome skill? Like, even a Gracie would have serious trouble trying to submit Arnold in his prime.

Sorry, this question was made probably just to save my ego I guess.

Fair enough, thanks anyway man. You're right, I don't think he even knows what an ego is.

Forget Jiu Jitsu, use that time to put on some weight instead.

I've just turned 26, I'm 6'1 and 125lbs. I've been training BJJ for 6 months.

The girl I lost to was 10 years old, maybe 4'7 and 80lbs (estimates). She'd only been training for 1 month.

So kids' class was cancelled, they just let the kids go to adults' class. The kids paired up with each other, but this girl was left over and had to roll with an adult. Since I was the lightest person there, that adult was me. It was heavily supervised in case I was a creep or something, which I'm glad they do.

Anyway, long story short she ended up tapping me out 3 times in 5 minutes. All of the subs were triangle chokes, with 2 of them being mounted triangles. This isn't even the worst of it, at times I genuinely felt like I was being out strengthened by her. For example, she pinned to the mat at one point, no skill involved just force. Other times she just threw me around like I weighed nothing (I'm kind of used to that as the gym, but not from a 10 year old girl).

Am I really weaker than a 10 year old girl? I'm getting really insecure about this, especially since I had been training for so much longer than her. Should I be ashamed at this, as a man?

I'm like 1 and a half feet taller than her and well over double her age. Surely that should overcome skill? Like, even a Gracie would have serious trouble trying to submit Arnold in his prime.

Eat more. Eat like 5 meals a day, put on some freaking weight for a start

Lol I'm surprised her legs were long and strong enough to triangle
Work on triangle escapes for a start. The fact that two were mounted triangles leads me to believe you're pulling over to the side too much when trying to escape so you're falling onto your back.
Protect your arm so you don't get armbarred, then posture up, pull up to create a bit of space then twist with your body, so instead of falling on to your back, you come down and take side control. (Or, as soon as her leg comes up over your arm to prepare the triangle, twist and push both her legs to the side of the arm her leg just came over and pass her guard that way)
Get your instructor to show ya, only so much I can do with words

At the end of the day, yeah you don't see many 26 year olds losing to 10 year olds, you did have a 1.5 foot height and 45 pound weight advantage
But if that one month she practiced triangles and for your 6 months you didn't practice triangle escapes as much as she practiced triangles then it follows that she'd be able to catch you with them. I mean you see people with bigger physical disadvantages out rolling larger opponents in BJJ that's a fundamental idea of the sport

Tl;dr the answer, as it almost always is, is to train.

P.S and eat. Get that weight up. 😎

There is little shame in being tapped by anyone smaller than you in training because you shouldn't be relying on muscling the moves anyway (obviously if you are rolling more competitively then do as you please).

Are you certain she wasn't just far more skilled than you which nullified what little strength advantage you had? You absolutely shouldn't be weaker than her though. Obviously you are extremely thin, but you may also wish to go to the doctor and have some tests run because you still shouldn't be weaker than a female child.

I recommend you get yourself on some sort of strength regime alongside BJJ. There are loads to pick from if you fancy going to the gym, if not then kettlebells, calisthenics etc. can be done at home and are very popular with fighters.

Minor trouble; top level players like Marcus Almeida would have little problem tapping him. Remember that Royce fought 6' 8" 250kg sumo champion Akebono, ended up underneath him twice and still beat him.

Just for some comparison as I do bjj too. Im 6 foot exact and 230lbs. You need to put on weight. I know alot of peole say to work on techniques but I'd say 75% of the time. If there is a sizeable gap in weight they would win.

That said I will point out that younger students pick up things at a much faster rate so don't sweat it if it takes a while to pick some stuff up. I mean even if this happened and you lost, it's your losses which make you learn.

She had only been training for a month, I don't think she was that more skilled than me. I did notice quite a few mistakes that I didn't take advantage of.

I don't know if she was stronger, that's what's worrying me. It definitely felt like it; I was in the bottom position throughout and it felt like she was relying on strength to keep me there. I think I mentioned this before, but at one point she pinned my arms to the mat, no skill involved. It could just have been the downward momentum I guess. If she's not stronger than me, then we're of a similar strength.

You're suggesting a doctor for that? Do you think it's that serious?

I think that you should try in earnest to eat far more and follow a strength routine of some sort for a couple of months and see if you get stronger. If you don't, then something may well be wrong and yes, at that point a visit to the doctor would be warranted as you may have some kind of metabolic or hormonal condition or whatever (I'm not a doctor).

However, the girl may have just been far better than you as people advance at massively different rates. BJ Penn received his black belt in 3 years which is insane, whereas some dedicated players are brown belts for 8 or 9 years. Either way, getting stronger will benefit your game, and your life.

Even buying a dumbbell and working on stuff at home would be a lot better than nothing if you lack time/money to go to the gym.

I've seen bumping work on other sites, not sure if it works here. Anyway, bumping the question.

It doesn't work here - please don't do it.

Wouldn't working out at my weight make me in risk of losing more weight? I think I'll try to bulk up first.