I screwed up but she won't forgive me

I fell in love with a girl who didn't like me. I had a rough break up with my last girlfriend and soon after I was rejected by Cambridge. Plus I was living on my own and I knew that I had to do something so that I stopped feeling sorry for myself so I decided to go for a girl I kind of liked. I wasn't feeling very confident at first because of what had happened and so I didn't make a move because I was hoping that she would hint in some way and make it easier. The problem was that she never did hint but we talked quite a lot and I started liking her more and more by the day until eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I told her how I felt. She said no and she tried not to hurt my feelings but she never really told me why. I asked her if we can still be friends and she said yes.

I didn't talk to her for a while but I couldn't stop thinking about her. I called her a few times asking if we can meet up but she kept on postponing it. When I realised I wasn't going to get the chance to see her I went to this library in which she was doing voluntary work as if to borrow some books but we both knew why I was really there. All this, I now realise, was probably the biggest mistake of my life. Soon after that she stopped talking to me altogether. It drove me crazy. Recently someone from the organisation we were both members of this year asked me to speak to her about something so I thought this was a great opportunity to apologise for everything and repair our friendship. I got her number (another terrible mistake) and called her. She said she will send me the info I needed and after that she really let me have it. She called me a creep and told me I was harassing her. I apologised and asked if I could ever talk to her again to which she said 'we'll see'. I know that I was too pushy and I am so sorry about it but she just wouldn't hear it. Every word she said in that conversation killed a little part of me.

I just don't know what to do now. I feel like a criminal. Nobody has ever ignored me or anything like that. I can't forget about it because it's in my head virtually every minute of every hour. I don't know whether I should ask a friend I know she really admires to talk to her and tell her how sorry I am and now that I know how she feels about it I would never be pushy again. Or maybe I should just send her a message. Please don't crucify me...I know that what I did was wrong and I would do anything just to be able to talk to her on msn or whatever even if it was like once a month. Writing all this down makes it sound a lot more trivial but it is unbearably painful because I've had a lot of bad luck recently and things are not looking very good at all. I just wanted one thing to work out this year.

Reply 1

devilsthorn

1

She doesn't want anything more than to be your acquaintance. Friendship is out the question. Move on and make new friends.

Reply 2

The Stig

18

By what you've said it doesn't sound like you have been harrassing. Maybe she's overreacting.

Reply 3

Zerforax

21

The OP has probably left out some parts like waiting outside her house and the constant texting/ringing etc :p:

Nah seriously though, if its as above; she's just not interested and you need to let go and move on...
If its more like i've rudely suggested :p:

you really need to let go and move on!

Conclusion? *ahem*

Reply 4

username47781

20

Sadly she's made it clear she doesn't want you, it's hard but you have to move on.

Reply 5

Death

OP

sarforaz

The OP has probably left out some parts like waiting outside her house and the constant texting/ringing etc :p:

Nah seriously though, if its as above; she's just not interested and you need to let go and move on...
If its more like i've rudely suggested :p:

you really need to let go and move on!

Conclusion? *ahem*

Heh I don't even know where she lives. However, I did text her and ring her a few times but she never ever gave me the impression that it irritated her. I would have stopped immediately if she did. I went to see her a second time at the library (I had to return the books before they closed for the summer). As I said, if she had ever in any way hinted that she really didn't like this I would have taken the hint. But, as she herself told me, she is quite naive about these things and really doesn't know how to hint. And some of my friends who have known her longer than I did also told me that she can be really arrogant at times. I know the right thing to do is to move on but you have no idea how bad I feel about it. I just wanted to repair this somehow so that I could stop feeling bad and then move on.

Reply 6

tristanperry

If you haven't left any details out, then she is over-reacting.

Unfortunately there's nothing more that can be done - forget about her, and move on. It'll only get worse otherwise.

Reply 7

Death

OP

I know that I have to forget about her but unfortunately knowledge does not always control a person's feelings. I knew what the right things to do were from the whole beginning but I screwed up because I cared about her so much. I know that I should go out and find another girl but it's not that easy a) because she made me feel so inferior and so unattractive and b) because all the girls I know are abroad and I live in a small town where opportunities are limited. Plus I am finding it difficult to accept most other girls because I don't think they would make me as happy as she would have. I already said no to a girl who asked me out because of that.

Reply 8

Unregistered

What a bitch she sounds.

Okay, so maybe you should have gotten the message that you'd weirded her out by telling her how you felt when she instantly ditched you. But, for goodness sake, you did nothing that warranted such behaviour from her. It's her own fault for being a social ****** and not knowing how to deal with being liked.

OP I think you should thank you lucky starts she doesn't like you back, she sounds like a complete idiot.

Reply 9

Profesh

20

Agreed. Get over her, for the love of God.

Reply 10

PeeWeeDan

15

I don't think we're getting the full story.

Reply 11

kyletms

it sounds like shes not telling you something - try looking through her bins for clues

Reply 12

Death

OP

Timeslikethese

What a bitch she sounds.

Okay, so maybe you should have gotten the message that you'd weirded her out by telling her how you felt when she instantly ditched you. But, for goodness sake, you did nothing that warranted such behaviour from her. It's her own fault for being a social ****** and not knowing how to deal with being liked.

OP I think you should thank you lucky starts she doesn't like you back, she sounds like a complete idiot.

Thanks for the support but I didn't want to give the impression that she was such a bitch. She always tried to be nice to me when she talked to me and the only time she said anything hurtful to me was the last time we spoke.

And this IS the whole story. The only thing I omitted was the fact that I asked her to go to the prom with me (we are from different schools). She told me she will come if she can make it but a few hours before the prom she told me she couldn't. It was probably the worst night of my life but I understand why she didn't want to come since her ex was going to be there and it would have been really awkward. I didn't want to say this because I don't think it helps explain the current situation.

Reply 13

Sarahl89

15

Lol. i know a boy just like the OP really. he asked me to a college ball with him, kept asking for my number, my msn, asking me to have lunch with him, go to his brothers party, go for a meal, hang out at the weekend.. (gotta give it to him bless he really went all out with trying).

i wouldnt exactly describe it as stalking but whenever he sees me he makes a beeline & tries to make conversation.
i declined all the above offers, not because i was being a bitch, but just cause hes seriously the most scary person ive ever met. just the way he talks & looks & everything scares the hell out of me really.

he recently asked me to hang out with him at the weekend 'but dont worry theres no pressure to do anything, im not expecting anything of you, you dont have to do anything you dont want to do'... & i was just thinking wellllll thanks thats big of you :|. i just wish he would leave me alone really, ive tried to hint & explain that i dont like him in that way without hurting his feelings, but really hes just not getting the message. from his point of view im sure the situation would be rather the same as the OP's. although ive not told him hes a creep or harrassing me (ive been tempted. but id just feel bad hurting his feelings. i know his heart is in the right place =S.)

dunno what the point to this post is really..(think i just needed a rant), im not saying the OP is anything like this guy, hes probably not, just that theres 2 sides to every story,, so dont go too hard on the poor girl! and also OP, just leave her alone now & find someone else. she obv doesnt wanna go out with you or be friends in that way, youll only make things worse if you try to reconcile them now.

Reply 14

a_shot2remember

9

Woah, you seriously need to leave her alone. I'm not saying sever all ties and don't ever go near her again, but you have to give her some space!

It's very strange that all the girls you know are abroad, why don't you try going out? Pubs, clubs bars and even shopping centres are great places to meet people.

If you isolate yourself from the rest of the world and keep sending her apologetic messages it's unlikely that she'll ever want to be friends. Show her that you don't need her and have some fun with new friends.

I screwed up but she won't forgive me

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