I have just self-harmed – now I am a mess

I've never done it myself no but why do you do it? Like is there some big reason behind it?
You definitely should talk to someone (if you wanna chat to me feel free :smile:

) about it cause it's something that you don't wanna be doing in future

Do you mind if I ask what the arguement was about?

Totally here for you honey :smile:

Reply 3

King Hippo

9

God, that's awful. :frown:

I've been tempted to do that a couple of times a few years ago and I know the feeling that when you're really angry you don't feel pain for a while, but to end up in that state is shocking.

You should maybe see a doctor because you may have a problem. Not as in "mental problems" but maybe an underlying form of depression or something.

Either way, PM me if you want to talk more about it. :hugs:

Reply 4

OP

SmilerNuts

I've never done it myself no but why do you do it? Like is there some big reason behind it?
You definitely should talk to someone (if you wanna chat to me feel free :smile:

) about it cause it's something that you don't wanna be doing in future

Do you mind if I ask what the arguement was about?

Totally here for you honey :smile:

Thank you.

The argument was that a long time ago I saw someone behind his back. I felt really guilty about it and frustrated with myself.

When I was hitting myself I had no idea what I was doing. It was a blur. I feel really disorientated and shocked now.

Reply 5

Thud

17

Next time try hitting a pillow instead?

Reply 6

OP

King Hippo

God, that's awful. :frown:

I've been tempted to do that a couple of times a few years ago and I know the feeling that when you're really angry you don't feel pain for a while, but to end up in that state is shocking.

You should maybe see a doctor because you may have a problem. Not as in "mental problems" but maybe an underlying form of depression or something.

Either way, PM me if you want to talk more about it. :hugs:

Thank you. I definately have depression. I cant bare to look in the mirror right now.

I only hope I can cover up the bulk of my bruses and redness with makeup for uni tomorrow.

Reply 7

OP

Thud

Next time try hitting a pillow instead?

lol in heinsight that would be logical.

However at the time I was in such a rage and frustrated with myself. I started by throwing a bottle accross the room but it just didn't give the same level of relief as inflicting damage upon myself. It's bizarre and unhealthy. I realise that now. But at the time I was in such an emotional rage and frustrated with myself. I couldn't see any answer to the argument other than to hate myself.

Reply 8

Maybe you should take the day off if you need time to mentally recover? Though keep yourself busy somehow.

When you did it in the past, was it that same feeling coming back to you?
Talk to your boyfriend, be honest with him and try and sort it all out so it's not coming back to bite you guys again and again

Reply 9

hannah_dru

2

Is there anyone at uni you can go and see to talk about it?

Reply 10

OP

SmilerNuts

When you did it in the past, was it that same feeling coming back to you?

It was like I was reliving my stupid mistake. What made me want to hurt myself (punish myself) was that I can't erase my mistake. I am stuck with it. That feeling of helplessness led me to this.

Reply 11

Everyone makes mistakes though, I've made more than my fair share. The key is to learn from them but not to dwell on them. You really should find a better outlet for these emotions, I find talking to someone is good or even playing sport and really pushing yourself til you're totally spent, that can help for me.
Don't punish yourself now for something that happened ages ago

Reply 12

username47781

20

Are you talking to anyone about this, surely if you think you are suffering from depression you need to see someone about it.

Reply 13

OP

SmilerNuts

Everyone makes mistakes though, I've made more than my fair share. The key is to learn from them but not to dwell on them. You really should find a better outlet for these emotions, I find talking to someone is good or even playing sport and really pushing yourself til you're totally spent, that can help for me.
Don't punish yourself now for something that happened ages ago

When you make a mistake in a relationship though, the other person can hold it against you (whether they admit it or not, they will not forget what you did). So you will never truly be free from your mistake.

Because I cant erase the past I feel helpless and frustrated with myself.

Reply 14

Wangers

16

A doctor would be a good starting point, oe alternatively a quick serch on the internet should find you independent listeners, there will also be your Universities' Nightline service. Whilst people at TSR are helpful, you may require urgent medical attention, or perphaps medication. I would urge you to go to a doctor - there's no shame in admitting you have depression. Asking for help is a sign of immense courage and strength of character.

Reply 15

LonelyDogsBite

I did the same thing this afternoon, I have hurt my jaw today, my knuckles also hurt. I get so enraged that I go crazy and pull my hair out and punch myself stupid. I know I am on a downward spiral I will seriously damage myself, most of the time I wish I was dead anyway.

Oh well.

Reply 16

Clubber Lang

See a Pshychiatrist - to do that to yuorself indicates a problem to me - especially if its 3 times now.

Reply 17

Anonymous

When you make a mistake in a relationship though, the other person can hold it against you (whether they admit it or not, they will not forget what you did). So you will never truly be free from your mistake.

Because I cant erase the past I feel helpless and frustrated with myself.

A lot of my mistakes have come in relationships though so I know exactly where you're coming from. Yep, I've been guilty of holding mistakes against people in the past but I think it's just cause I had so many emotions bottled up about it and I was never given the chance to let the out so in the end it drove us apart. Sitting down and having a brutally honest talk about the whole thing would really have helped me...

Don't try and erase the past, it shapes who you are today. As long as you learn and don't repeat the mistake then it's ok and you shouldn't feel like crap.

Reply 18

dumbdunc

I've done it...Only I punched walls... It hurt A LOT afterwards.

Talk to someone. And see a doctor.

Reply 19