My life is a nightmare

I had a good friend last year who I spent a lot of time with, practically the whole day. That could lead to him falling in love with me and something happened between us, making him feel I was too in love with him, which I was not, he was simply a good friend, but I made a mistake because he actually thought I was in love with him and I even wrote to him I loved him and stuff like that (in the friendship sense).

He had serious problems at home and was really sad, he needed people around him. I was about to go to London to live there for three months and he wanted me to stay here with him. I said he could not control what I do or where I go, which does not mean I do care about him. He kept on putting pressure on me, making me feel awful and even calling me names and shouting at me everytime we talked or saw each other, which was horrible.

The whole situation made me feel fed up with him, I did not want to know anything about him and I started to not want him as a friend, but I did try to make him understand we could not continue arguing so much about this, I apologised for not being there for him when he needed me, but he did not seem to forgive me. Even though, he insisted in me stop being so selfish (which I do not think I am) and stop being such a bad person. He wanted to be my friend and did not stop calling me.

His obsession was so strong that even if I went out with some friends or even if I did anything which did not involve him, he was upset with me and really angry with me the next time we talked. That made me want to get away from him even more than ever, plus everytime we saw each other it was awful because he started shouting at me and even threatening me at the end, and I did not want to say a word because everything I could say would make everything more difficult and worse. He threatened me saying he was going to prepare something strong for me, to make me feel really bad, to hurt me a lot.

I was SO scared that I even thought about reporting his threatenings to the Police, but I told the whole problem to my parents. They are being a great support. Apart from them, the two other friends who know about the problem say I should stop talking to him for him to forget me. They say I should end my relationship with him - He is mad, totally insane and unbalanced personality-wise.

He has called me this morning and my dad has picked up the phone and has started telling him he must stop doing what he is doing because this could not go any further. Then my mum has talked to him as well and then he has asked me to go and talk to him, which I did but just to tell him the same, I was so hurt already that I could not be his friend any more, even if he was trying it hard even if he was hurt as well.

He has ended up saying everyone was going to know about it (referring, I think, to me and him being together or something, or maybe to the pain I had caused to him), and that could be his threatening.

I know he needed me because he has been losing all his friends because of his personality, he feels he needs to change everyone around him if he finds something he does not like on the other person. He just has another friend who is like him, obsessed with his friendship and needing to be together 24h a day. I also know it can be bad for him if he tells anyone what has happened between him and me, because that would mean he loved me (a boy) when everyone thinks he is straight.

I am scared because he has proof of me telling him I loved him or things like that, in a friendly way, but that could be misinterpreted. That could be bad for me because I am straight and I do not want people to think I have been with a boy or anything like that, it was a mistake and that is all. Plus there is a girl I like, who I have been flirting with, and it would be bad for our relationship if she knows about that.

I was attending my university classes with him, but not anymore because I changed my degree this year (not for this problem, just because I wasn't happy doing English) so I will not see him in class, and I will not see the friends we had in common, but I am scared he could spread the rumour around the whole university or even to my close friends or something, or to people in my class.

I do not know what to do. At least, he is supposed to not call me or text me or contact me because my parents have banned that and I have also told him I do not want to hear from him any more. Anyway, I am scared about the future... I really wanted to go to university, to study hard, I was happy with what I had, but all of this is making my life a nightmare.

Reply 1

Sanity Panda

I wouldn't worry too much about him. Seems like it's possible for you to do all the things you want without him bothering you.

As for the rumours that he's threatening to spread. Those that you are around with will be able to tell the truth, those that actually choose to believe him over your words aren't really worth your time.

Lastly the guy seems somewhat unstable, it makes his story somewhat harder to believe.

Reply 2

sergioib

He is highly unstable, he would never admit that but he is.

I have banned all e-mails from his addresses so that they would be deleted immediately, to avoid seeing them.

Nothing has happened today, I hope it keeps on going like this, we will see...