When you have nothing to say...

Hi everyone.
For some time now, I have found myself at a loss to say things to friends. When I say 'things' I mean conversation - anything that's interesting, funny or whatever - I just have nothing to say, nothing to talk about, nothing that anyone wants to hear. It was most notable a day or so ago - on a very long coach trip with my friends, I initially sat next to one of my best friends, and between the fairly long bouts of silence, whenever we talked, I just ... couldn't think of anything to reply with. Then she moved seats to my other friend, and for the rest of the journey those two just laughed and got on really well, and it made me feel really bad - because I couldn't make my friends laugh, or even keep their interest.

It happens at school, too. I can say things and people just don't notice me, or grunt and look around for someone else - and it makes me feel like i'm not worth enough, so I quieten up and listen in on other conversations. It's confusing as well - usually I'll say something, and i'll get the awkward silence response, followed by "[My name], do you ever think about what you say?" or something similar. Yet, when someone else makes a very similar comment, in a similar situation, it's greeted with rapturous applause and wide, loud smiles all around. Which makes me feel like a running joke, and inferior to everyone else - and I hate it.

So I ask you, what am I meant to do? Being myself, I get greeted with the stony response and become pegged as the oddball out of everyone, and trying to be 'normal', I get accused of being "really boring!"

I just don't know what to do.

Reply 1

Dimez

If you believe what you have you have to say is worthless and not worth listening to then that's exactly what it'll be. Don't think about what you have to say when you're with your chums - just be 'in the moment', spontaneous and just don't give a damn; after all, they are your mates so you shouldn't give you *****. If they're judgemental screw them.

Reply 2

qubog

I like the sound of you. At least you don't talk about yourself or inane drivel all the time! Just chat to nice people who respect you. I'm guessing from your post that you are still at school. Classmates in school actually are the spawn of the devil. Fact.

Reply 3

Fluent in Lies

Say you're on a sponsored silence.

Reply 4

LennonMcCartney

When you having nothing to say, say nothing.

Reply 5

Fluent in Lies

When you having nothing to say, get your penis out.

Reply 6

jenifaar

i feel like that sometimes at the minute, with my group of mates i;ve known at school for ages, which is weird. So firslty, it's not just you, which i know is not a long of practical help, but still. and also, there've been a load of new people in my school recently, and i can talk to them about anything and always have enough to say so...try that....you might well be the same. and then the problem will be with your mates, rather than you. it;s kind of hard to actually suggest things but...try talking to others and don't feel you have to make the effort all the time, and if those people are worth anything to you, they'll miss it soon enough and will make more of an effort. fingers crossed :smile:

Reply 7

Double Agent

Dont think you always have to be saying something, or being funny or stuff like that. Theres two of you in the conversation, who says its all your fault its quiet? Also try not to think too much about what you say, it may seem boring to you or not right or something, but its conversation and it will lead them to say something in return.

Reply 8

zDjM

it's simple :smile:

just you got to know few things. first of all people want to talk about themselfs. about their friends/family/interest/problems etc. not about yours. so all you need to do is to ask something about them but question should start with why/what do you thing/what so they can't say yes/no. and don't worry. just try it. it works perfectly :wink: