Need advice on my sex drive.
So I really need to talk to someone about my sex drive. I recently have completly lost all desire and interest in sex. I'm 22 and have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I have no desire for sex. I try to get in the mood, think of things that used to turn me on, taken 'pink pills' bought nice underwear pretty much everything but nothing seems to work. Its strange because I want to have sex I want my sex drive back but my body and mind doesn't react to anything. I want that desire back but I literally have no feelings at all. I'm suffering from stress and have done for over a year now. I've had a few pregnancy scares where I was convinced I was pregnant but wasn't. I was diagnosed with chlamydia and treated for it a year ago. I wonder if these things have had a impact. I love my boyfriend but I don't find him sexually attractive at all anymore. What's wrong with me 
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by ice-cold-coffee
So I really need to talk to someone about my sex drive. I recently have completly lost all desire and interest in sex. I'm 22 and have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. I have no desire for sex. I try to get in the mood, think of things that used to turn me on, taken 'pink pills' bought nice underwear pretty much everything but nothing seems to work. Its strange because I want to have sex I want my sex drive back but my body and mind doesn't react to anything. I want that desire back but I literally have no feelings at all. I'm suffering from stress and have done for over a year now. I've had a few pregnancy scares where I was convinced I was pregnant but wasn't. I was diagnosed with chlamydia and treated for it a year ago. I wonder if these things have had a impact. I love my boyfriend but I don't find him sexually attractive at all anymore. What's wrong with me
There is a lot of stuff going on there: stress, no sexual feelings, not finding bf attractive.
Other things you didn't mention: have you had many sexual relationships before your current bf? Were they different/better/worse? Is the sex give and take or do you find yourself always giving what your bf wants?
Do you still find guys attractive generally?
Are there other things going on (not sex related) that are also causing you stress?
It could be hormones, or a combination of hormones, stress and/or overthinking things.
You may need to consider seeing your GP?
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Det.Hartigan
There is a lot of stuff going on there: stress, no sexual feelings, not finding bf attractive.
Other things you didn't mention: have you had many sexual relationships before your current bf? Were they different/better/worse? Is the sex give and take or do you find yourself always giving what your bf wants?
Do you still find guys attractive generally?
Are there other things going on (not sex related) that are also causing you stress?
It could be hormones, or a combination of hormones, stress and/or overthinking things.
You may need to consider seeing your GP?
Other things you didn't mention: have you had many sexual relationships before your current bf? Were they different/better/worse? Is the sex give and take or do you find yourself always giving what your bf wants?
Do you still find guys attractive generally?
Are there other things going on (not sex related) that are also causing you stress?
It could be hormones, or a combination of hormones, stress and/or overthinking things.
You may need to consider seeing your GP?
I had a few sexual partners before my boyfriend. Always had a high sex drive and couldn't bare when I was single and had no sex. When I first met my boyfriend I felt the best I'd ever felt about myself sexually. Trying new things, buying sexy underwear. All that kinda thing, but after the first 8 months my sex drive started dropping and now it's gone completely. The sex I do have with my boyfriend is mostly him. He loves pleasing me. And it's always him doing most things. Recently I did start giving more and pleasing him more and I did enjoy it. I find guys attractive, there was a guy I like during being with my boyfriend but nothing happened, I find myself thinking about him alot. It used to be sexual thoughts but thats faded out now.
Original post by unprinted
The stress certainly isn't going to help, and it will be possible to do something about that.
What form of contraception are you using?
Until your sex drive comes back, you can be intimate in different ways...
What form of contraception are you using?
Until your sex drive comes back, you can be intimate in different ways...
I'm on the combined pill and have been for a year and half. Sex drive was fine during the first 6 months of taking it.
How else can we be intimate tho? It doesn't bother him and he doesn't mind waiting but I still feel bad.
Original post by ice-cold-coffee
I'm on the combined pill and have been for a year and half. Sex drive was fine during the first 6 months of taking it.
How else can we be intimate tho? It doesn't bother him and he doesn't mind waiting but I still feel bad.
How else can we be intimate tho? It doesn't bother him and he doesn't mind waiting but I still feel bad.
Taking the pill does affect some women's sex drive. Some get hornier - removal of worries about getting pregnant, the difference of sex without condoms - and some lose all or most of it.
Could you talk to someone about stopping and see what happens after a couple of months if you do? You're not needing it for contraception at the moment...
I would be surprised if there wasn't sexual stuff he'd be interested in that didn't involve you feeling sexual and wanting 'sex'. It might involve BDSM stuff, or it could be a simple as snuggling him while he masturbates.
Generally for these types of things I'd recommend seeing a doctor. Maybe your GP can refer you to a psychologist/psychiatrist who can help you work through this since I suspect given all the info you've given it's because (or at least mostly because of) the amount of stress you said you're experiencing which makes it psychosomatic and probably means an effective treatment will also be psychological.
I want to stress though, don't avoid seeing a doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist because you think that means admitting there's something mentally wrong with you.
I want to stress though, don't avoid seeing a doctor/psychologist/psychiatrist because you think that means admitting there's something mentally wrong with you.
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