am i being groomed?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
hi, this is sort of urgent and im scared.
i'm a 16 y/o girl and a week ago I got this app called Yellow (basically like tinder for under 18s - I got it for the bants and I didn't expect anything to come out of it). Anyway, there was a 16 yo guy on there who displayed similar interests, so I messaged him saying i liked his guitar and it escalated from there.
I gave him my snapchat when he asked, bc he seemed genuine.
now, here's why i'm starting to get worried.

we've been talking for a mere 5 days but it's been intense. he snapchats me all the time and seems to be really intrigued about me, and i've never recieved so much attention from a guy so I was flattered. Anyway, comments quickly got sexual (first in a jokey way, but somehow they escalated in a way i cannot even comprehend when I look back on it). somehow i ended up telling him sexual curiosities of mine which i would never usually dream of telling a stranger, especially not in such an intimate way when i barely know them. I guess i was excited idk? we skyped for hours and he DID seem like a genuine guy, but thing is, some of his behaviour I find weird. Like he keeps telling me how he'll take me to london and buy me expensive **** and all the places we'll go, he's saying he can't stop thinking about me and that im lovely and amazing and I make his life better, i stop him from committing suicide etc etc and it's freaking me out a bit. he asked for pics in my underwear as well (kinda casually but in a way that for once in my life i agreed???? i never do that sorta stuff??I don't want to come to conclusions because what if he's just simply an innocent emotional guy, but i've got this weird gut feeling. if anyone's taken the time to read this, what do you think?

he has my number/insta/snapchat and know what town i live in - i think he may know my school too. He also knows my full name, has found out my parent's car types and stuff and I look back on it and think HOW DID I EVER GiVE THIS INFO TO A STRANGER????????? im scared
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ANM775
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#2
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#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
hi, this is sort of urgent and im scared.
i'm a 16 y/o girl and a week ago I got this app called Yellow (basically like tinder for under 18s - I got it for the bants and I didn't expect anything to come out of it). Anyway, there was a 16 yo guy on there who displayed similar interests, so I messaged him saying i liked his guitar and it escalated from there.
I gave him my snapchat when he asked, bc he seemed genuine.
now, here's why i'm starting to get worried.

we've been talking for a mere 5 days but it's been intense. he snapchats me all the time and seems to be really intrigued about me, and i've never recieved so much attention from a guy so I was flattered. Anyway, comments quickly got sexual (first in a jokey way, but somehow they escalated in a way i cannot even comprehend when I look back on it). somehow i ended up telling him sexual curiosities of mine which i would never usually dream of telling a stranger, especially not in such an intimate way when i barely know them. I guess i was excited idk? we skyped for hours and he DID seem like a genuine guy, but thing is, some of his behaviour I find weird. Like he keeps telling me how he'll take me to london and buy me expensive **** and all the places we'll go, he's saying he can't stop thinking about me and that im lovely and amazing and I make his life better, i stop him from committing suicide etc etc and it's freaking me out a bit. he asked for pics in my underwear as well (kinda casually but in a way that for once in my life i agreed???? i never do that sorta stuff??I don't want to come to conclusions because what if he's just simply an innocent emotional guy, but i've got this weird gut feeling. if anyone's taken the time to read this, what do you think?

he has my number/insta/snapchat and know what town i live in - i think he may know my school too. He also knows my full name, has found out my parent's car types and stuff and I look back on it and think HOW DID I EVER GiVE THIS INFO TO A STRANGER????????? im scared


No you are not being groomed, he is a guy the same damn age as you.


why do so many people on this site desire so much to be some sort of "victim"?
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Tootles
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#3
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#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
hi, this is sort of urgent and im scared.
i'm a 16 y/o girl and a week ago I got this app called Yellow (basically like tinder for under 18s - I got it for the bants and I didn't expect anything to come out of it). Anyway, there was a 16 yo guy on there who displayed similar interests, so I messaged him saying i liked his guitar and it escalated from there.
I gave him my snapchat when he asked, bc he seemed genuine.
now, here's why i'm starting to get worried.

we've been talking for a mere 5 days but it's been intense. he snapchats me all the time and seems to be really intrigued about me, and i've never recieved so much attention from a guy so I was flattered. Anyway, comments quickly got sexual (first in a jokey way, but somehow they escalated in a way i cannot even comprehend when I look back on it). somehow i ended up telling him sexual curiosities of mine which i would never usually dream of telling a stranger, especially not in such an intimate way when i barely know them. I guess i was excited idk? we skyped for hours and he DID seem like a genuine guy, but thing is, some of his behaviour I find weird. Like he keeps telling me how he'll take me to london and buy me expensive **** and all the places we'll go, he's saying he can't stop thinking about me and that im lovely and amazing and I make his life better, i stop him from committing suicide etc etc and it's freaking me out a bit. he asked for pics in my underwear as well (kinda casually but in a way that for once in my life i agreed???? i never do that sorta stuff??I don't want to come to conclusions because what if he's just simply an innocent emotional guy, but i've got this weird gut feeling. if anyone's taken the time to read this, what do you think?

he has my number/insta/snapchat and know what town i live in - i think he may know my school too. He also knows my full name, has found out my parent's car types and stuff and I look back on it and think HOW DID I EVER GiVE THIS INFO TO A STRANGER????????? im scared
This is not grooming. Grooming is subtle. He's just a horny teenager.
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Integer
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#4
Report 3 years ago
#4
Lots of guys use them sort of apps to be creeps you're fine. Stop talking to him
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username1842595
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#5
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#5
How do you know he is the same age as you? Does he look older at all?
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Anonymous #2
#6
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#6
Be very careful there from what you have said it sounds like he is using manipulative behaviour signs which wouldn’t be indicative of a ‘normal’ guy that age or even if he is who he says then it’s still doesn’t sound like someone to get involved with. My advice would be to block all his communication and don’t reply regardless of what he sends you for now. If he still continues to try and contact you after you have make it clear to him that you are no longer interested then it may be time to tell a trusted person such as your parents or family member about it. A word of friendly advice I’m a 26 year old guy and would still be very careful what I disclose to anyone I’ve not met in person, if something doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t all it seems.
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bl0bbybl0bbyson
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#7
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#7
(Original post by Anonymous)
hi, this is sort of urgent and im scared.
i'm a 16 y/o girl and a week ago I got this app called Yellow (basically like tinder for under 18s - I got it for the bants and I didn't expect anything to come out of it). Anyway, there was a 16 yo guy on there who displayed similar interests, so I messaged him saying i liked his guitar and it escalated from there.
I gave him my snapchat when he asked, bc he seemed genuine.
now, here's why i'm starting to get worried.

we've been talking for a mere 5 days but it's been intense. he snapchats me all the time and seems to be really intrigued about me, and i've never recieved so much attention from a guy so I was flattered. Anyway, comments quickly got sexual (first in a jokey way, but somehow they escalated in a way i cannot even comprehend when I look back on it). somehow i ended up telling him sexual curiosities of mine which i would never usually dream of telling a stranger, especially not in such an intimate way when i barely know them. I guess i was excited idk? we skyped for hours and he DID seem like a genuine guy, but thing is, some of his behaviour I find weird. Like he keeps telling me how he'll take me to london and buy me expensive **** and all the places we'll go, he's saying he can't stop thinking about me and that im lovely and amazing and I make his life better, i stop him from committing suicide etc etc and it's freaking me out a bit. he asked for pics in my underwear as well (kinda casually but in a way that for once in my life i agreed???? i never do that sorta stuff??I don't want to come to conclusions because what if he's just simply an innocent emotional guy, but i've got this weird gut feeling. if anyone's taken the time to read this, what do you think?

he has my number/insta/snapchat and know what town i live in - i think he may know my school too. He also knows my full name, has found out my parent's car types and stuff and I look back on it and think HOW DID I EVER GiVE THIS INFO TO A STRANGER????????? im scared
Go no contact don't be a wh0re focus on GCSE's etc etc

More on this later
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Anonymous #1
#8
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#8
(Original post by ANM775)
No you are not being groomed, he is a guy the same damn age as you.


why do so many people on this site desire so much to be some sort of "victim"?
no i think you've mistaken me here, I really do not aspire to be a victim of any sort. I'm just a hugely paranoid person and I speculate way too much over stuff like this, and the whole time we've been talking i've just had this weird gut feeling but you're right - it's probably nothing. sorry
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Anonymous #1
#9
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
Be very careful there from what you have said it sounds like he is using manipulative behaviour signs which wouldn’t be indicative of a ‘normal’ guy that age or even if he is who he says then it’s still doesn’t sound like someone to get involved with. My advice would be to block all his communication and don’t reply regardless of what he sends you for now. If he still continues to try and contact you after you have make it clear to him that you are no longer interested then it may be time to tell a trusted person such as your parents or family member about it. A word of friendly advice I’m a 26 year old guy and would still be very careful what I disclose to anyone I’ve not met in person, if something doesn’t feel right then it probably isn’t all it seems.
thank you so much. even if he is genuine, things still feel odd so I'm gonna try cut ties with him. I appreciate your advice!
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Anonymous #3
#10
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#10
i'd be very, very careful. those are the kinds of guys who will do and say anything until they have a hold over you, and then it gets nasty.
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_Nyx_
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#11
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#11
Please listen to your gut feeling. Unless you have met this person in real life, you do not know any facts about them including age or even gender. The amount of info you gave out on yourself is dangerous for any person you do not know, and these kind of apps (that specifically target young people) are the first place that these kind of predators go to. Please tell your parents or even a teacher about what's happened, even if you're scared of how they may react. I would strongly advise you to cut contact with this person, this did not sit right with me at all when reading through your description and I don't believe he is acting in a way a 16 year old usually would e.g. digging for information, underwear shots, learning even how to recognise your parents cars... No, this feels very wrong.

If you are determined to keep contacting him, then like I say, please tell someone about this and whatever you do - do NOT meet him alone. Be okay with telling this boy/man that you don't feel comfortable telling him that if he asks something inappropriate. Don't forget that you can say no, it is not rude to do so. If you continue speaking to him, there's one thing you can do to reassure yourself that he is your age. Make him go on Skype (you don't have to show yourself) but make him show himself on webcam. If he refuses for any reason, it is a major red flag. If you want to talk about this further, please feel free to pm me.
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Nunchuck-master-2334
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
hi, this is sort of urgent and im scared.
i'm a 16 y/o girl and a week ago I got this app called Yellow (basically like tinder for under 18s - I got it for the bants and I didn't expect anything to come out of it). Anyway, there was a 16 yo guy on there who displayed similar interests, so I messaged him saying i liked his guitar and it escalated from there.
I gave him my snapchat when he asked, bc he seemed genuine.
now, here's why i'm starting to get worried.

we've been talking for a mere 5 days but it's been intense. he snapchats me all the time and seems to be really intrigued about me, and i've never recieved so much attention from a guy so I was flattered. Anyway, comments quickly got sexual (first in a jokey way, but somehow they escalated in a way i cannot even comprehend when I look back on it). somehow i ended up telling him sexual curiosities of mine which i would never usually dream of telling a stranger, especially not in such an intimate way when i barely know them. I guess i was excited idk? we skyped for hours and he DID seem like a genuine guy, but thing is, some of his behaviour I find weird. Like he keeps telling me how he'll take me to london and buy me expensive **** and all the places we'll go, he's saying he can't stop thinking about me and that im lovely and amazing and I make his life better, i stop him from committing suicide etc etc and it's freaking me out a bit. he asked for pics in my underwear as well (kinda casually but in a way that for once in my life i agreed???? i never do that sorta stuff??I don't want to come to conclusions because what if he's just simply an innocent emotional guy, but i've got this weird gut feeling. if anyone's taken the time to read this, what do you think?

he has my number/insta/snapchat and know what town i live in - i think he may know my school too. He also knows my full name, has found out my parent's car types and stuff and I look back on it and think HOW DID I EVER GiVE THIS INFO TO A STRANGER????????? im scared
This guy is mad!
he's a stalker
Ignore him, delete him from all social media!
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markova21
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#13
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#13
The bit that concerned me was that he wanted to take you shopping. What is he going to expect in return for spending money on you? I'm probably completely over-reacting here. But there are men who pimp their girlfriends out to their mates and then other men and keep the money. It happens. Agree that if anything, at least Skype each other so you can see how old he is. Just be very careful, OP. Oh and I suggest you mention him to your parents.
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_Nyx_
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#14
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#14
I just re-read and saw that you have skyped with him. Did he show himself on the webcam?
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Madlow
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#15
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ANM775 - you're a piece of sh1t. The girl has mentioned so many red flags I'd be surprised if it wasn't a groomer/troll writing it.
Tootles - A clever, experienced groomer is subtle. Doesn't mean this isn't one. And I think you give them far too much credit
Blooby - can't wait for more insights like "don't be a wh0re" ¬_¬

Anyway yeah, what 16 yr old boy can afford to bring someone shopping in London? I'd guess if he did show himself on skype it was a clean shaven short haired boy in dim light?
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InternationalXX
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Anonymous)
hi, this is sort of urgent and im scared.
i'm a 16 y/o girl and a week ago I got this app called Yellow (basically like tinder for under 18s - I got it for the bants and I didn't expect anything to come out of it). Anyway, there was a 16 yo guy on there who displayed similar interests, so I messaged him saying i liked his guitar and it escalated from there.
I gave him my snapchat when he asked, bc he seemed genuine.
now, here's why i'm starting to get worried.

we've been talking for a mere 5 days but it's been intense. he snapchats me all the time and seems to be really intrigued about me, and i've never recieved so much attention from a guy so I was flattered. Anyway, comments quickly got sexual (first in a jokey way, but somehow they escalated in a way i cannot even comprehend when I look back on it). somehow i ended up telling him sexual curiosities of mine which i would never usually dream of telling a stranger, especially not in such an intimate way when i barely know them. I guess i was excited idk? we skyped for hours and he DID seem like a genuine guy, but thing is, some of his behaviour I find weird. Like he keeps telling me how he'll take me to london and buy me expensive **** and all the places we'll go, he's saying he can't stop thinking about me and that im lovely and amazing and I make his life better, i stop him from committing suicide etc etc and it's freaking me out a bit. he asked for pics in my underwear as well (kinda casually but in a way that for once in my life i agreed???? i never do that sorta stuff??I don't want to come to conclusions because what if he's just simply an innocent emotional guy, but i've got this weird gut feeling. if anyone's taken the time to read this, what do you think?

he has my number/insta/snapchat and know what town i live in - i think he may know my school too. He also knows my full name, has found out my parent's car types and stuff and I look back on it and think HOW DID I EVER GiVE THIS INFO TO A STRANGER????????? im scared
It's not grooming, as you both are the same age. However, it could still be dangerous as, from what you've said, he sounds like he's becoming obsessed with you, and fast. My advice would be, regardless of whether you keep talking to him or not, stop giving him info about you and also, stop playing into it. Your behaviour is also encouraging him (especially the sexual talks). Also, no more risque stuff like the underwear pics, you don't know where those could end up. Some girls don't even trust their boyfriends enough to take those types of pictures, let alone strangers.
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MissChameleon
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#17
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#17
BLOCK HIM...

MOVE HOUSE

MOVE SCHOOL

Spoiler:
Show


Seriously though he sounds dodgy... at the very least tell your parents about him or a trusted adult. Are you sure about his age?

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_Nyx_
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#18
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#18
(Original post by Madlow)
...
Anyway yeah, what 16 yr old boy can afford to bring someone shopping in London? I'd guess if he did show himself on skype it was a clean shaven short haired boy in dim light?
And this is why I was hesitant to add why showing himself can even be proof. He may well manipulate the viewing conditions like Madlow suggested. However, it is better than taking only photos as enough proof.

That there is not a single bit of evidence so far of his age is really concerning, in light of how he is acting.
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ChickenMadness
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#19
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#19
He just wants to shag you.

You don't have to send him nudes or tell him anything if you don't want to lmao. He's made it very obvious he wants to shag you by asking you so much sexual stuff. I think you're just playing along with it because you're bored and have nothing better to do. Block him and do something else.
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Sammylou40
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#20
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#20
It's impossible to tell his age or his motives
Listen to your gut.
Nothing else matters
Also, stop giving out so much personal info
Ignore him
If he doesn't take the hint, you must tell someone you trust who can help put a stop to it
(Parent, teacher)
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