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Please Help with this... I need answers / Info

Long Post , But please read it... Really need help

Right basically ive been with my GF for just over a year and for the 1st 10 months it was all going fine.

Since then then the arguing started , mostly about stupid things.

But now she goes on at me about how she has to nag me all the time and feels like my mum how she has to tell me to do stuff before i do it , i cant seem to do anything right. We argue about me getting a proper job ( have a **** one ATM ) and how i text her when shes out to friends birthdays ETC , and how i cant make decisions for myself , i need her to help me ETC.

Shes the complete opposite , or so she thinks , she knows exactly what she wants to do in life , Uni , Good job ETC.
But she always seems to think shes right about everything.
I can never win arguments and she always confuses me which makes me contradict myself , which makes things even worse.

I think she feels that im weaker in arguments ETC because when we had our 1st split , i was calling her flat out to try and get her to to talk to me , and im always the 1st to give in and appologise , even when im sure im not in the wrong (which is rare).

We broke up on our 1 year anniversary , but decided to still go out as best mates the night after for cinema / meal.
She slept at mine and we had sex like normal.
The next day we decided we would get back together but give each other more space ( Going out to see friends more , Giving her time for school work as its falling behind after seeing me every day for a year , Giving me time to grow up as she says. )

But since then she's been a bit different , obviously it will be a bit different as we have more space but i didnt think it would be like this.

Shes going through a tough time at the moment with her family at home with her dad and stepmum whos been there for her for 14 out of 17 years splitting up.

Lately she is having heavy mood swings , from texting me with "Love you's" and "x x x x" ETC , to arguing over really stupid stuff ( like her saying shes got some old literature to read as she feels she needs to know more about it , and me saying i tried that once but it didn't work for me , so she called me an uncultured ignorant fool , which true as it is , hurt me a lot as 5 mins before we were happy and joking , yet 5 mins after we sorted it out and were joking about going out shopping in a few days)

And since we had our breakup and got back together , i think her sex drive has depleted almost completely , during the day after we split up ( before we got back together ) we had random sex after we got horny.
We went for quite a while , 45 mins , but i didn't come because i wanted to save it for when she stayed round on the night.
By the time we got back from the meal / cinema , we got back to mine , and she said lets just cuddle for a bit before we do anything.
So we did , and she fell asleep , i would think its innocent but whenever she dosn't want to have sex , she either says shes too tired , or shes watching TV and we can do it after , but when were done watching TV , she says she has to go home.

It's not because our sex life is crap , because she always compliments me on how good i am in bed and i can tell from what she does.

I'm not sure if its to do with whats going on at home with her family , if it was to do with our breakup ( even though we had sex the day after in the daytime ) , or if its something else?

I'm hoping some of you have been in the same situation and can give me advice or info on whats happening , because with these mood swings / lack of sex , its making me feel like she dosn't want to try being with me but with more space and that she just wants to go off on her own again , but as i said she has good moods to which makes me think she wants to be with me. But as i said im not sure if its family life / school / work life?.

Thanks for anyone who helps or trys to , much appreciated.

xx

Reply 1

FluffyDinosaur

Oh also , i forgot , just to add...

I also need ideas of things for us to do to stop us being bored , thats another problem we face , all we do most of the time we see each other is sit in my room and watch TV and cuddle , is this bad for a relationship?
What do you all do with your BF / GF ( that preferably dosn't cost or costs little as i want to do it often )
The more the better , Thanks... xx

Reply 2

LO :)

Why dont you both go out with mutal friends more often and also together alone... sounds like you both spend alot of time together, why not have time apart to do your own thing with friends.

FluffyDinosaur

as i said im not sure if its family life / school / work life?.

Tell her all what you've wrote, only she can really tell you whats the problem.
x

Reply 3

FluffyDinosaur

thanks , its just so confusing and hard..

Reply 4

Bubblebee

I'm sorry to say this, and it might not be the case at all but this situation reminds me of how I was with my ex. I was too much of a coward to call it off with him because he was so nice. He just was far too clingy and never stood up for himself and I knew that if I ended it he would cry and get all depressed. So instead of doing the proper thing I became a total bitch to him, wouldn't have sex with him, wouldnt text him or call him and wouldn't tell him how I felt.

Perhaps you should try backing off a little bit, if you aren't always running around after her she may realise what she has with you is a good thing.

Reply 5

FluffyDinosaur

thanks abeille :smile:

Reply 6

LO :)

FluffyDinosaur

thanks , its just so confusing and hard..

Hope you get it sorted out :smile:

Reply 7

FluffyDinosaur

weve been talking today about stuff and i kind of understand now.
but another thing i noticed today....

i know she said she wanted more time to go out / be with her mates etc , but i saw some txt's on her phone earlier from an ex (i think he was anyway , or they were just seeing each other or w/e)

Nothing dodgey but they must of been talking about me.... as one of the msg's from him was " yeah i saw him come into work today about 5" and other stuff like that.
I went into where he works @ 5 to buy my GF a fancy dress thing for a party shes going to.

Today i also found out he asked her to go watch his footy team tomorow night and shes gonna go if its not pouring with rain...

am i taking this OTT? or what?

Reply 8

devilsthorn

It never works out when the female is smarter than the male, and looks down on him.

Reply 9

FluffyDinosaur

Reply 10

Flick The Switch

You shouldn't put up with her insults. You sound like your being too soft with her. Tell her what you really think. If it ends in a splilt, maybe it's for the best.

Reply 11

FluffyDinosaur

i feel so ****ing ****...

Reply 12

suicidal_dream

in my honest opinion, i think shes just trying to push you away cos she doesnt dare to end it.

i could be wrong but i've been known to do that just to save my own skin kinda!!!

Reply 13

nougat

It's difficult to be attracted or nice to someone you have no respect for, and she has no respect for you. Acting all sad and not standing up to her is just gonna exacerbate this. Weird as it sounds, either start being more horrible to her and look out for yourself, or end it before she does.