Guy i like on drugs

4

Hi
Theres a guy i like but one problem he does pot, i know that pot isnt that bad but he said he would do it more regular if he could get hold of a regular supply. :confused:

, and well im anti drugs completely, he says he does it for the high but im like cant u get the high from something else, and hes like well alcohol n smoking are just as bad, if not more addictive. He also says that it helps him lifts his spirits if hes feeling depressed, cus he spilt with his gf the summer before last or something like that. I responded with well couldnt u talk with someone n hes like well i dont really like talking to people.
Do u think it would be possible for him to give up the drugs?, Do u think there would be a chance that there could be a relationship? or perhaps i could help him get of the drugs?

Any help would be appreciated thanks

Reply 1

SuperhansFavouriteAlsatian

Why would he want to give up the drugs? He clearly enjoys them, and you haven't mentioned any harm it's doing to him. The whole basis of your attitude seems to hinge on your unswerving belief that "drugs = bad" and that's that.

Reply 2

username47781

20

Well if he isn't prepared to give it up then he may not be the guy for you.

Reply 3

Absinth

15

I wouldn't date him unless he was willing to give it up.

Reply 4

Hylean

15

i also laugh at the idea that pot lift him out of depression considering it is a depressant, not a stimulant.

seriously, is the drug issue that important? i'm anti-drug but if i like someone enough, i'll overlook their drug use as long as it doesn't affect their personality or the relationship in any way. if it is that important, give him the boot. he won't give them up, that's obvious.

Reply 5

username47781

20

Hylean

i also laugh at the idea that pot lift him out of depression considering it is a depressant, not a stimulant.

seriously, is the drug issue that important? i'm anti-drug but if i like someone enough, i'll overlook their drug use as long as it doesn't affect their personality or the relationship in any way. if it is that important, give him the boot. he won't give them up, that's obvious.

I disagree, if she is not comfortable with him doing pot and he is not going to give it up then she shouldn't go out with him.

Reply 6

Kater Murr

20

It's up to you and him. Possible outcomes:

1) He gives up drugs for you and you get together.
2) He doesn't give up drugs for you but you try it out and get together anyway.
3) He takes drugs less and you get together.
4) He doesn't give up drugs and you decide you can't hack being with a 'druggie'.
5) He gives up drugs but still acts like a 'druggie' - you still don't want him.

I guess there's more but this kinda sums it up.
I'm tired; leave me alone.

Reply 7

Kater Murr

20

Hylean

i also laugh at the idea that pot lift him out of depression considering it is a depressant, not a stimulant.

seriously, is the drug issue that important? i'm anti-drug but if i like someone enough, i'll overlook their drug use as long as it doesn't affect their personality or the relationship in any way. if it is that important, give him the boot. he won't give them up, that's obvious.

If something's a depressant it doesn't mean it depresses you - a depressant shuts down senses, a stimulant opens new ones. That's all.

Reply 8

Hylean

15

Rock Fan

I disagree, if she is not comfortable with him doing pot and he is not going to give it up then she shouldn't go out with him.

read my last line. i said if it was the anti-drug stance was that important to her, she should give him the boot since he clearly won't be giving them up any time soon.

Reply 9

dobbs

17

BornUnderPunches

5) He gives up drugs but still acts like a 'druggie' - you still don't want him.

Can you please tell me what a 'druggie' acts like? :confused:

I was in a similar situation to the guy who the OP is talking about a few years back - my gf wanted me to stop doing something that she wasn't happy with, which I guess was fair enough, but really that was a part of my personality, shortly after we split up and I continued to do what I had been doing.

But my point is is that is what he does and is part of him. If you enjoyed doing something that he didn't like and he asked you to stop doing it how would you like it? Whether it's illegal or damaging to his health, if you can't put up with it then don't get with him. Yes you can let him know you don't like it, but it's his choice, not yours.

Reply 10

asdasta

15

I've smoked the occasional joint (although I take a hard line against anything above that - E, coke, heroin etc), but needless to say, it's certainly not an important part of my life, and if someone told me I could never have it again, I wouldn't be fazed at all. Moreover, if a girl said to me "I know you do it occasionally, and I don't like it", I would either never do it around them, or simply not do it. If a girl is nice enough to give me the time of day, whilst I wouldn't blindly adhere to her commands, I wouldn't deem such a request unreasonable. However, if their view on cannabis was ignorant, in that they simply took the "drugs = bad" line, then I'd have to question them.

Just my two pence. But much like alcohol, I'd gladly tone it down if a nice lass were on the horizon.

Reply 11

dobbs

17

PS. I would like to know if the problem that the OP has with the guy smoking weed is because it's illegal, or because of what the substance does. If the former, then fair enough. If the latter, well then cross off anyone who smokes tobacco or drinks excessively (and by excessively I mean more than the recommended maximum intake, which is a surprisingly low amount!) from your list of "who I can date" because they cause just as much damage to your body as cannabis :rolleyes:

Reply 12

Bismarck

13

It seems certain people here are justifying their use of drugs to themselves instead of answering the thread starter's question.

To the thread starter, it seems that drugs are a major part of the guy's personality, and unless you're willing to put up with it, which I would not encourage, I suggest looking for someone else. Until he burns himself with his habit, he's not going to listen to you.

Reply 13

p78edu

7

Drugs are bad mkay.

Don't go changing people to your liking, he's obviously in a different sphere of reality than you, and that can never end well. And on a tangent, as long as the drugs don't affect him in a way that you dislike, why would you care?

Reply 14

Symph

16

If you can't accept him and his bad habits then find someone else. I'm not a big fan of smoking nor taking weed, both habits that my boyfriend indulges in, however as he does it away from me and acts like a decent bloke when we're together I can't say it's an issue for us.

Reply 15

username34965

OP

4

Symph

If you can't accept him and his bad habits then find someone else. I'm not a big fan of smoking nor taking weed, both habits that my boyfriend indulges in, however as he does it away from me and acts like a decent bloke when we're together I can't say it's an issue for us.

Thanks, im in agreeance with you bout the smoking and weed thing and he is a decent guy, but im worried that his personality might change as a result of taking them, cus he said he would do it more regulary if he could get hold of them, :confused:

which puts me of a bit

Reply 16

dobbs

17

Bismarck

It seems certain people here are justifying their use of drugs to themselves instead of answering the thread starter's question.

To the thread starter, it seems that drugs are a major part of the guy's personality, and unless you're willing to put up with it, which I would not encourage, I suggest looking for someone else. Until he burns himself with his habit, he's not going to listen to you.

I'd just like to point out that I never said I took drugs. I know plenty of people who do, some are good friends.

It just seems certain people are deadfast against things that they know little about. I have no problem with people being against something if they realise why they're against it, but as I said - I would like to know why the OP was against it.

The thing is is that, whilst we may differ on one level - our advice is exactly the same. So really it's just the same results via different means. :smile:

If the guy is willing to stop because he likes the girl so much then fair enough but he shouldn't be forced to do it, and if she has to force him to change, then that's just starting a relationship on a bad foot really.

Reply 17

garethDT

13

drugs don't always = bad. especially weed. if he wants to do it on a regular basis then there are obviously health risks but the odd joint now and then is now big deal. by all means discourage him from using it all the time but don't be worried more than him smoking tabacco and drinking alcohol all the time.

Reply 18

Rutter knows best!

12

i would'nt tolerate being told what i can and can't put in my body.

note: cock jokes aside.

Reply 19

Mikemaria

I would avoid him if I were you .I know people that started on the pot and stuff like that but then moved on to the heavy stuff like erion. You deserve better

Guy i like on drugs

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